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Family is essentially friends. So you have friends
We have no family really.
So friends are especially important
An advertisement is not a bad idea to find someone with the same medical condition
Even if you found someone with a similar lifestyle, it might come in handy.
Yes, when you have no family, friends are your family.
I've never thought about it, but if I need help in the middle of the night I'll call an ambulance or the cops.
You don't do crap like that to friends, and I don't associate with passive-aggressive a-holes. If you don't need an ambulance or the cops, it will wait until morning. Go to bed.
If I needed help in the middle of the night, it would be medical so I would call an ambulance. I have a friend about 10 miles away but the situation would be better suited for paramedics. Definitely would not call the cops.
So this means if your close friends spouse has a heart attack or dies... in the middle of they night and they call you due to being petrified needing the emotional support of a close friend, you would balk? I don't believe you meant that.
I can think of a few situations where a close friend called me in the middle of the night.
Once because she was afraid she was going to hit her baby. Good call. Got on meds that week and life was better for a few years then she weened off. All is good today 20 yrs later
Another friend lost their fiancee due to a car crash in the middle of the night. I lost sleep but she is worth it. And followed up calling everyday. Took her a meal and out to eat. Lots of short,brisk walks
Including my spouse, I have 2 close friends. Maybe 3 friends but haven't seen him much since we moved 2.5 hrs away about 9 months ago. He's been our best friend for 20 yrs so he'd still come if I needed him. And vice versa
If your spouse has a heart attack, call an ambulance. I have a friend whose wife died of leukemia. I helped him bury her. I gave a eulogy at her funeral. He did not call me in the middle of the night.
If your spouse has a heart attack, call an ambulance. I have a friend whose wife died of leukemia. I helped him bury her. I gave a eulogy at her funeral. He did not call me in the middle of the night.
You didn't read what I wrote. Or failed to address it.
I have 3 great friends. We have completely different backgrounds and family situations. We all came from different areas. I think that may be the key. We don't know each other because our kids played together, we did not work together, or go to the same high school or college.
I have a "B" list of 4. More than acquaintances but not quite friends. There is something lacking. Nothing I can name but it just isn't the same with them.
The word 'friend' probably means different things to different people. We have a neighbor couple that we attend events with and we have each other over for drinks and bites but, in the seven years we've known each other, I wouldn't call her a friend. I don't look for her to share secrets, we don't go to lunch or even make phone calls to each other. She's just a neighbor who I happen to like the best.
I don't believe in the concept that it takes time to build a best friend from an acquaintance. My best friends throughout life were known to me on day 1.
The mortgage broker who came over to take our application then stayed til midnight and we killed a bottle of wine.
The new neighbor who I met by the mailboxes and we talked for over an hour.
The woman who asked me for directions and we ended up walking together then going to lunch then shopping, all on the way to where she wanted to go.
Only the mortgage broker is still in my life and I consider her my true best friend even though now we live states apart. The new neighbor fell off and the walking lady suffered a debilitating stroke. Life happens. I can go back even further, 40 years ago, me and another mother were waiting for our 3 yo kids to come out to the gates after 1st day of pre school. Wegot talking and became Tues/Thurs coffee buddies but now our kids are middle-aged and we don't see each other though our friendship spanned decades.
I love meeting people on line but they're not friends. I honestly don't know if it's possible to make a real true blue friend these days. Everyone is busy, people would rather text than pick up the phone and there are health problems and our pensions that define how active we may(or may not) be.
I've been severely "burned" in the past, by those few women I considered close friends: those you "get you" and you spend hours talking about what's in your heart.
I no longer want or look for that. We have our condo friends that we get together and do stuff with: take trips together, go to happy hour somewhere or just have happy hour here by the pool. We talk, but only about superficial things. As someone pointed out, political differences keep some of us at arm's length from each other. But we have lots of good times and laughs with each other.
I CAN say we would all be THERE for each other, but that's more due to our proximity and the nature of expat life. One neighbor said, "That's what we do here, help each other".
Sometimes I wish I could pour my heart out to someone, but that's just not going to happen. I'm OK with that, I guess. The upside is not having any "demands" put on my time or energy, so "keeping it light" has its positive side. I enjoy my own company and don't feel "lonely". Knowing I can "rely" on my condo friends is good enough, at this point in life.
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