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This place in Switzerland seems a little "Soylent Green" to me. Although, even that wouldn't be so bad if they didn't turn you into little green biscuits after you made your exit.
My MIL told us, for at least a year before she passed in January, that she was done, that continuing life was a burden to her, and that she prayed every night to pass away in her sleep, but she kept waking up every morning just the same.
It hurt to hear her say it, but we couldn't deny the truth of what she was saying. While she was Catholic and would never commit suicide, she did have a DNR, and we respected it. I just wish that she didn't have to go through all that.
Grandpa was 93 years old and had lived alone for probably the past fifty years or so. It was getting so that he was having a hard time walking and taking care of himself, and likely knew what was coming next (getting moved to a nursing home on the public dime, he never had a lot of cash). One of his sons came into the yard one December morning and found him dead in the middle of his rural Northwoods driveway, laying on his back with his hands folded peacefully on his chest, with no coat on and temps likely in or just above the single digits overnight. I never remembered him going out without a coat on in all the time I knew him.
At the time, the family thought that he simply went out to a shed to get a toaster or something to repair, slipped and fell, and froze to death - and maybe coupled with a sudden heart attack, his hands were near a medical alert button that was not activated. Some years ago, it dawned on me that his death was probably not an accident. So, if and when my own time comes, what was good enough for Gramps, is good enough for me, except I would likely choose the company of a couple pints of Crown Royal before heading outside. They say you're cold for a while, but then just fall asleep. Hopefully a neighbor or the mailman finds you before the coyotes, although that wouldn't be so bad either, everybody's gotta eat.
Hard to believe a Just God, if he exists, would hold Granddad's actions against him; in fact, he may even be honored that one of his own would be in such a hurry to Go Home. It will be thirty years ago this December - Godspeed, Gramps.
Someone wrote a book on the effects of extreme cold. From what I remember, during the process of freezing to death, there is a stage past violent shivering wherein the person feels hot and tries to remove clothing. Death occurs not long afterward. Interesting stuff the body does.
The same author also wrote a book on the effects of extreme heat.
not at all, but IMO discussing how to off yourself is an indication of the need for serious professional help and therefor on any thread I would find it a horrible thread
Good grief. I was sitting after dinner with a group of friends after we had all enjoyed days of vacation fun.
Somehow the topic of suicide came up, and everybody discussed various ways to accomplish it. Pros and cons of each method.
Those people were definitely happy, “well-adjusted†folks who were not terrified of discussing death.
I think those who are afraid of even mentioning it are the ones who need psychiatric help.
My MIL told us, for at least a year before she passed in January, that she was done, that continuing life was a burden to her, and that she prayed every night to pass away in her sleep, but she kept waking up every morning just the same.
It hurt to hear her say it, but we couldn't deny the truth of what she was saying. While she was Catholic and would never commit suicide, she did have a DNR, and we respected it. I just wish that she didn't have to go through all that.
My MIL said that, too, and for about that long.
However, she hugely enjoyed her 90th birthday party, just a few weeks before she died.
I am not certain that a person's expressed wish to die is always an immutable truth. Think back to all the people you've known who have said things out of frustration they didn't truly mean.
Last edited by fluffythewondercat; 10-11-2018 at 10:27 AM..
^^^ In that moment, they mean it, but we all know that moments pass. However, MIL said it literally daily for over a year, so I'm pretty sure she meant it. Like I said, she would never commit suicide, but knowing she was ready and willing to leave the planet, made it easier for us when she passed. We knew she was just done with it. No more fight left in her, and nothing left to fight for. Her dementia was just getting worse and no one was looking forward to what life had in store for her.
If I were in her shoes, it wouldn't be S&W, but it would be check out time for me.
I assume that this subforum is populated by real adults who have a good spread of real life experience and aren't on here for the cat videos and celebrity news.
I don't think it's very adult - or reasonable - to expect that a forum about retirement is going to be all happy talk about AARP, grandchildren, next month's cruise and how nice the staff at Golden Valley Retirement Home are. I don't think we have to maintain some kind of afternoon-tea polite pleasantries here.
Retirement and aging do indeed have a dark side - poverty, illness and loss of independence being the "nice" parts of that, I guess. But it's not news nor should be particularly shocking to a group of adults that isolation, loneliness, loss of "purpose" and things to meaningfully occupy days is not just a thing, but a hugely widespread thing. An epidemic, even among younger people.
Getting all flustered and flapping your hands because this not-nice topic came up is completely inappropriate. No one is forcing you to read this thread; go back to the "AARP Deal of the Day" thread if it bothers you. Don't waste time and misdirect a useful, if very grim topic because you don't think it's "nice" enough.
And if your only suggestions are that "these people should get help" or "there's medication for that" or "Only ______ people give up like this," well, the only thing I could respond with would be diametrically opposite of "nice" and probably get me banned. If you've never experienced this kind of deep despair and hopelessness, don't prattle on about "getting help" from church groups or counselors or the right miracle drug. It's not that goddamned easy.
And it deserves discussion here, without squealing from the cheap seats.
^^^ In that moment, they mean it, but we all know that moments pass. However, MIL said it literally daily for over a year, so I'm pretty sure she meant it. Like I said, she would never commit suicide, but knowing she was ready and willing to leave the planet, made it easier for us when she passed. We knew she was just done with it. No more fight left in her, and nothing left to fight for. Her dementia was just getting worse and no one was looking forward to what life had in store for her.
If I were in her shoes, it wouldn't be S&W, but it would be check out time for me.
Exactly. Condolences for the loss of your MIL.
For me, the timing is thirty years off. But as a society, this is a subject we should seriously discuss. I have an Aunt in her 90's in a nursing home, and she's doing OK with it. But when I visit her, and see so many people sitting in wheelchairs with their chins touching their breasts, unable to communicate in a meaningful way, many depressed and unhappy, I have to think that if they had to do it again, they would have made a different decision the day they could no longer take care of themselves.
The problem is that our technology has outgrown our wisdom to apply it. Just because we can keep people with dementia plus gross physical deterioration alive beyond what nature intends, doesn't mean we should do it. Pneumonia used to be known as "the old person's friend" for a reason. Now, it's a ten-thousand dollar trip to the hospital to keep Grandma alive for another six months (and another fifty grand for the nursing home). As the Boomers age, this will be just something else bankrupting the country. Zeke Emanuel (father of Obamacare, brother of Rahm in Chicago), has been chastised for being a proponent of limiting medical care for people beyond a certain age, for being a proponent of "death panels". When applied to healthy oldsters who are happy with their lives, I understand this criticism. But for folks who are getting no pleasure out of their existence? Time to stop providing medications for things like high blood pressure, diabetes, etc., and let them go where they are going to go anyway. Zeke has proclaimed that he will reject medical care for chronic conditions at age 75, it will be interesting to see if he actually walks the walk when the time comes.
This fascination American society has for prolonging life and "cheating death" is ridiculous. We only get old if we are lucky. But living beyond our ability to enjoy our lives, is just plain silly. Sorry if anyone is offended by this stance, but we need to adopt some of the practices of more progressive European countries (the Swiss?) when it comes to end of life practices. And to suggest that some kind of "intervention" is needed from intellectually supporting people who choose to end their own existence in the absence of mental illness, is beyond ludicrous. To me, my own grandfather's story is not one of sadness, it confirms my memory of his strength of character, of a man who chose to live (and not live) on his own terms. I only hope I have some of his strength in me should I live so long such that old age and infirmity destroys the person I once was.
It's not just poverty - it's the thought that there won't be a better tomorrow.
If I'm poor today, but it looks like things may reasonably change in some bearable time frame, I can probably tough it out for awhile. If it looks like things will never change, it's much more difficult to keep a positive attitude.
I moved to Iowa in 2012. I didn't like it, moved back to Tennessee, and took a low-paying temp job back here with the intention of finding something in Raleigh or Nashville within a couple of months. That "couple of months" turned into eighteen. Meanwhile, I had three jobs in 2013, with each paying less than the last. By the end of the year, I was making $11.68/hr/36 hrs. a week. That's a $10/hr job on a full-time equivalency. I had no medical insurance, nor benefits of any kind. My best friend committed suicide himself back in the summer of 2013. By the end of 2013, after submitting probably hundreds of job applications, I was borderline suicidal myself.
Sorry Serious, but you just can't speak to this topic. An old person (80s or 90s) KNOWS there are no future opportunities to get a better job (or any job). And they may have grown up and lived their lives with the attitude that you don't take charity. Or they may not be aware of what might be available from the government or social service organizations. So the feeling becomes totally hopeless to them. YOU cannot imagine that. YOU are just too young.
It's different from having trouble finding the next job.
Not the actual end of your life when things are bad, but the casual use of guns.
I would really hate to have to clean it up after somebody did it. I'd probably have to burn the place down.
It doesn't have to be a gun, there are a variety of methods available.
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