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Old 10-16-2018, 09:49 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,643 posts, read 17,615,071 times
Reputation: 27701

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Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
I think we're talking apples and oranges. The OP is being offered the house if he wants to buy it at fair market value. It's not an inheritance. There is a huge difference between the two.
This is correct.

She seems very nervous about selling it. She has been going back and forth between her house and my aunt's this summer, but only staying at her house maybe a third of the time. She likes the freedom of being able to stay with my aunt, then going back home.

I know she wants to me to buy it because she knows I'll let her come visit, and she won't be totally "cut off" from the property. She's talked about my aunt's stepson or his ex-wife buying it, but their credit is totally shot.

She's talked about donating all this furniture to the Salvation Army and such, but while a charity might take some of it, none of it is valuable enough to be sold for much money. I have a feeling most of her possessions that she doesn't take will end up in a Waste Management dumpster.
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Old 10-16-2018, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,192 posts, read 54,662,203 times
Reputation: 66672
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi View Post
Ha; everyone else throws in the appliances but you have two brothers! My grandma left the family home to all of her children but with one stipulation; that the youngest sibling be able to live there, for free, for the rest of his life.

There are valid reasons for this; my uncle lives in an upstairs apartment & the other two floors are currently rented out separately. It a big brick house that my grandpa bought in the 1940’s in Boulder, just blocks from the CU campus (& Jon Benet Ramsey’s house).

It is worth literally millions & has become the family equivalent of “When my ship comes in” (when Lincoln street sells ... )

I personally hope my uncle lives comfortably there for as long as he has ... He’s an eccentric aging hippie, somewhat infamous in Boulder for being the first juvenile ever arrested, later became Alan Ginsberg’s personal photographer, as well as being the photographer for a Janis Joplin album & Crosby, Stills & Nash ... & now tends his renowned cacti garden on the south side of the house, just doing his thing ... Nobody’s allowed to toss in my uncle!

Now, my oldest uncle has an unusual trust set up for my cousins. I think it’s called a Legacy Trust? It’s an all real estate trust but none of the properties can be sold; they can only be traded for more property. Not sure if I’m stating that correctly.
Wow, your uncle sounds like an interesting person! Fascinating life story.

I'm just kidding about my bros. We won't ever let them become homeless, which is really only a threat for the youngest one (who is 49) but my mother will be 90 next month and if she ever needs long-term care, the house will pay for it and they will have to figure out where they will go. The second-youngest has always said he would let the youngest live with him. I would contribute, but I would never live with him. He's into every conspiracy theory that exists and parallel universes and whatnot. I wouldn't be able to listen to him all the time, but I will make sure he eats.

My mom is smart and started getting rid of the extra crap in her house years ago before she had her bypass and started kidney dialysis. She asked if we wanted anything and gave away what we didn't want. She still has some collectible items to get rid of. She keeps the Snowbabies my deceased brother gave her for Mother's Day every year because of the memory of him, but otherwise she wouldn't.

For a time she collected music boxes that we gave her as gifts, and last year she took them up to the assisted living place where some of her friends reside because they have Bingo and give out little gifts as the prizes. She donated them for that.
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Old 10-16-2018, 10:10 AM
 
643 posts, read 532,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I wonder when my mother goes if my sisters and I will be able to sell my two brothers who still live there along with the house. Hmm. One has a bad spine, the other a bad heart, but the one with the bad heart works like a horse and keeps up the house and yard. The other one plays video games. I don't think we'll get much for him.
My Wife's sister (67 yo) who lived/lives at now deceased parents house talked mother into co survivor-ship on the house deed. Never paid a mortgage payment or up keep. Paid for house is worth, give or take $800,000. She's talking about selling "her house" now.
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Old 10-16-2018, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,192 posts, read 54,662,203 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovnova View Post
My Wife's sister (67 yo) who lived/lives at now deceased parents house talked mother into co survivor-ship on the house deed. Never paid a mortgage payment or up keep. Paid for house is worth, give or take $800,000. She's talking about selling "her house" now.
Neither of my brothers would be smart enough to do that, and my mother is too smart to let them. If she dies while still in the house, the house goes to all six still-living siblings. If she needs to sell it to provide for long-term care, we don't get any of it. For the four sisters, that is just fine.

She'll be 90 in a few weeks, and her body is getting weaker, but her mind is still sharp.

There is also the issue of property tax. She pays nothing on a six-bedroom, three-bath house on half an acre that should be taxed at about 15K per year because my father was a 100% DAV and she gets that benefit as his widow. If she dies while that is still her residence, the taxes kick in. The rest of us are not about to start shelling out 15K in taxes so "the boys" (who are really balding men) can stay there.
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Old 10-16-2018, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,716 posts, read 4,744,332 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eliza61nyc View Post
I think that's the route I'm going to take.
You could consign the sports memorabilia to an auction.

If you were willing to give it away, you probably wouldn't mind the auctioneer's cut of the sale.
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Old 10-16-2018, 04:01 PM
 
Location: The Ozone Layer, apparently...
1,906 posts, read 677,253 times
Reputation: 3955
Um...it might be nice to wait for them to die before trashing or cashing out of their sacred momentos.

Heck, I have stuff that belonged to my MIL's parents that I cant seem to bring myself to dispose of. An old sewing machine that she loved. Broken smoking pipes in an old gift box with a hand written "Papas Rememberance" on it...relatively worth less figurines that her son (my husband) bought her as Christmas gifts when he was a little boy, etc. She passed away a year and a half ago, and her son passed 2 years before her.

I don't know why anyone would trust someone enough to do a trust with them before they died, if that person has so little value for family, and its history.

Maybe your grandmother hopes to heal in a few months and return to her home and treasures?

Last edited by ComeCloser; 10-16-2018 at 04:04 PM.. Reason: clarification
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Old 10-16-2018, 07:50 PM
 
Location: NC Piedmont
3,911 posts, read 2,883,191 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
Oh, I love that.

She doesn't want them around but she invokes "family" so they'll be stored in somebody else's house.

I'd offer to rent a dumpster.
The old hot potato - "I have gone through it and take a few things to remember her by and wanted to give you the chance" - after I had already been through it also. Nobody wants to be the last one that has to throw stuff out. My dad gave me a box of old photos and newspaper clippings. Most of the people I don't recognize because they were dead before I was born or old enough to remember them. Some are distant relatives or neighbors of great grandparents. Old hundred year old albums that are falling apart. My grandparents' wedding guest book. More recent stuff is pictures of people I already have pictures of. Stuff I really don't need but will feel guilty throwing away. If I keep the box, I will likely never open it again and my kids will know what even less of it is than I do.
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Old 10-16-2018, 08:18 PM
 
Location: VT; previously MD & NJ
2,213 posts, read 1,354,565 times
Reputation: 6378
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReachTheBeach View Post
The old hot potato - "I have gone through it and take a few things to remember her by and wanted to give you the chance" - after I had already been through it also. Nobody wants to be the last one that has to throw stuff out. My dad gave me a box of old photos and newspaper clippings. Most of the people I don't recognize because they were dead before I was born or old enough to remember them. Some are distant relatives or neighbors of great grandparents. Old hundred year old albums that are falling apart. My grandparents' wedding guest book. More recent stuff is pictures of people I already have pictures of. Stuff I really don't need but will feel guilty throwing away. If I keep the box, I will likely never open it again and my kids will know what even less of it is than I do.
If anyone in your family is interested in genealogy, give the photos and clippings to them. Some people would love to have photos of the ancestors. The wedding guest book could help in constructing a family tree.
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Old 10-16-2018, 09:27 PM
 
4,757 posts, read 4,043,347 times
Reputation: 9988
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
You could consign the sports memorabilia to an auction.

If you were willing to give it away, you probably wouldn't mind the auctioneer's cut of the sale.
Yes. Consign it to a sports memorabilia auction. You might turn out to be quite happy that he collected all that memorabilia junk.
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Old 10-16-2018, 09:35 PM
 
4,757 posts, read 4,043,347 times
Reputation: 9988
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReachTheBeach View Post
The old hot potato - "I have gone through it and take a few things to remember her by and wanted to give you the chance" - after I had already been through it also. Nobody wants to be the last one that has to throw stuff out. My dad gave me a box of old photos and newspaper clippings. Most of the people I don't recognize because they were dead before I was born or old enough to remember them. Some are distant relatives or neighbors of great grandparents. Old hundred year old albums that are falling apart. My grandparents' wedding guest book. More recent stuff is pictures of people I already have pictures of. Stuff I really don't need but will feel guilty throwing away. If I keep the box, I will likely never open it again and my kids will know what even less of it is than I do.
Scan the photos & documents and pass around the digital files to your relatives/cousins. Someone now or in future will get into genealogy & family history and be delighted. Once you scan everything, give them to any interested family member.
I say scan first because too many of us who are into research have experienced stories of family albums & bibles being scooped by one relative & lost to everyone else.
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