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Old 10-26-2018, 02:33 PM
 
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I'd hate to be a kid today. This society is so dysfunctional and the traditional nuclear family is under assault like never before. The odds of having FOO issues are astronomical, and kids are less able to socialize and play freely - everything is micromanaged by helicopter parents and over-zealous teachers and administrators.
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Old 10-26-2018, 03:36 PM
 
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Kids of today aren't provided the opportunity to create their own fun. I remember simple things like laying on the ground with friends trying to make out different shapes in the clouds at dusk.

I see some kids walking with parents at the park totally oblivious to what is going on around them. What may be called: walking while being entertained with electronics.
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Old 10-26-2018, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Ohio
19,959 posts, read 14,264,832 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rastafellow View Post
Kids of today aren't provided the opportunity to create their own fun.
They aren't allowed, either.

We used to play Cops & Robbers, Cowboys & Indians and War, but kids today aren't allowed, because it isn't Politically Correct.

You can't even say "gun" or draw a gun or use your fingers to make the shape of a gun without being labeled a terrorist and having the authorities descend upon you and take you into custody.

There's no doubt that TV and video games stifle the imagination, but parents don't know how to say "no" and don't know how to limit their usage.

Quote:
Originally Posted by katharsis View Post
As I said, I would never mock anyone with a real condition, but I do believe that many kids are diagnosed with conditions that they really don't have. In other words, I think that many kids are wrongly diagnosed.
If you watched PBS the other night, they highlighted a kid who was misdiagnosed with ADHD.

His father was a Navy officer, eventually becoming the Navy Chief of Staff (the only higher you can go is the Chief of Staff for the entire US military).

The kid was in 5 schools in 6 years.

I can both understand and appreciate how incredibly difficult that must have been for him. He suffered anxiety because of it, but was misdiagnosed with ADHD. He wasn't given Ritalin, it was the other drug they use (whose name escapes me).

Because he was totally misdiagnosed, he was on the wrong meds, and so ramped up at night he couldn't sleep, so he started sneaking alcohol to calm him down.

Then he started using marihuana.

So, he's hanging around people who use or sell marihuana, and many of them abuse prescription drugs obtained illegally, so he started on those. Ultimately, he got hooked on Oxycontin.

Then he started experimenting with heroin, and got really messed up.

He was in treatment for an entire year, and when he left, everyone thought he was doing fine. He enrolled in the Univesity of Denver.

Two weeks later, he was dead in his dorm room from a heroin overdose.

Chalk one up for Medicine.

You've got to wonder how many thousands of others are in the same boat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jertheber View Post
Nail hit squarely on head!! I knew so many kids from my childhood who were trying to fit in, or get along, or worse, trying to become invisible--and failing that, be angrily in your face. There is no way to deal with a dysfunctional home life when no one, including teachers, your own siblings, or anyone in an authority position, knows what to do, or say to the troubled child. Usually it is a sense of low self esteem that serves as the troubled kid's lifetime award, "troublemaker," labeled and living it. Back in the day, teachers and most "authorities" were simply unable to relate to "the troubled kids?, so, toss them under the bus and call it a day.
I can readily recognize it, but I'll be damned if I have a clue what to do about it. I don't even know if anything could be done, but I'd like to think there's something that can be done about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jertheber View Post
That situation hasn't changed much in today's modern school setting. And Columbine and other school violence events hasn't really altered the course much for those severely troubled minds. Yeah, kids today may be getting different labels put on them, but yes, we should be looking for clues to the source of behavior problems at the earliest possible opportunity. Unfortunately, school is the net that captures all children and expects them to conform, and that, by itself, is a pressure cooker in the making. The irony in all of this lies in the notion we have about individualism, on the one hand we say we cherish it, but on the other, most want social conformity in our schools.
There are different facets of social conformity.

I'm a big believer in school uniforms.

The US Supreme Court once said in a case involving the US Army and the Free Speech clause of the 1st Amendment that the mission of the Army is so unique and vital that limited restrictions on individual rights are necessary for the Army to perform its unique and vital mission.

You could make the same argument for schools, that their mission is so unique and vital that limited restrictions on individual rights, such as compelling students to wear uniforms, is necessary and proper for the schools to carry out their mission.

And the unique and vital mission of the schools is twofold, first to prepare students to enter the work-force or to obtain additional education before entering the work-force, so that you can have a sustainable functioning economy, and second to socialize students so that they can interact in society on a civil level without resorting to force or violence.

I don't believe for a moment that school uniforms would eliminate cliches, but it would transform and reshape them, so that they are not as harmful as now.

The advantage you get in the trade-off is greater cohesion.
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Old 10-26-2018, 06:02 PM
 
Location: NC Piedmont
3,911 posts, read 2,884,049 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by galaxyhi View Post
In tge 60s i was considered "active" and a "hyperactive
child".

I wouldn't sit still.

I couldn't pay attention to something that didnt actually hold my attention.

Nowadays id be on meds drugged up.

Then it was " go out and play ( burn off energy)" and " go downstairs ( to the basement) to play".

Eventually by my teens i calmed down, but dobt think my attention was better held. I had to REALLY pay attention in school to get what average grades i got.

I also didnt /don't like being in crowds. Causes anxiety disorder which i am diagnosed with as an adult. Im also now bipolar, was treated for years for depression onky till an astute psychiatrist spent 4.5 hours grilling me about my life. He Said "no, youre not depressed, youre bipolar!".

So i guess ADHD w/anxiety disorders and bipolar depression.

I dint know.

It could be a conspiracy to get us all to act like zombies!!!!

I was also first diagnosed depressed but had that common biploar reaction to SSRI antidepressants - they made me hypomanic. The psychiatrist then talked to my wife and she filled him in on the highs and lows. I knew when I was depressed but wasn't as aware of hypomania; the energy, the hyperfocus and the extra time you have each day when you don't need much sleep were kind of nice. I didn't know I was skipping words and sentences explaining things when my mouth couldn't keep up with my racing thoughts; I genuinely believed that the people I was talking to just weren't my intellectual equals when they didn't understand. And the delusions; some of the things I believed leave me shaking my head. I am not cured, but the meds make it far less frequent and usually less severe.
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Old 10-26-2018, 07:36 PM
 
659 posts, read 326,052 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by in_newengland View Post
Ugh. How to raise a spoiled brat.

In first grade my teacher wrote on my report card that I was shy. I didn't speak up in class. So today I would labelled with some sort of social anxiety disorder. It probably would have been nice to get some help with my shyness but it's gone crazy today with everybody having something "wrong" with them.
Many children are catered to by their parents, that's just the way it is. My own kids were raised to have many privileges, as long as they are respectful and polite. An only child or grandchild will be indulged by doting parents and grandparents. My grandson is not a spoiled brat. He's learning to talk and express himself and we enjoy meeting his needs.
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Old 10-26-2018, 10:21 PM
 
Location: Washington state
5,440 posts, read 2,772,101 times
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I think the key word here is "diagnosed". I've suffered from depression all my life and I have Asperger Syndrome. I can't even imagine how much better off I'd be today if those had been diagnosed when I was a child.

As for being a child again in this day and age, it would be wonderful. Thanks to the internet, I wouldn't have to put up with so much negativity if I said I didn't want to get married or have a kid. I would find there were many people who had the same interests I do and I wouldn't be thought of as "different" or "weird". I would be able to search for things on the internet and not have to depend on other people telling me or not telling me about them, like finances or sex.

I wouldn't have to fight so hard to not be crammed into the "mother and housewife" mold my parents and teachers and neighbors and coworkers all thought I should be in. My abusive father would have his butt hauled off to jail today. There would be so many more options for jobs that weren't available to women when I was growing up. The only thing I would have missed was the great music I got to hear growing up.
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Old 10-26-2018, 11:24 PM
 
2,575 posts, read 4,696,514 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945 View Post
Whew ! Same here. I am SO glad I grew up when I did, and not in this upside down, confused world we have today. They could offer me to start all over again today, and I would turn them down.
I don't know, I was born in 1954 and the Cuban missile crisis and all the political assassinations of the 60s, as well as civil rights riots seemed pretty upside down and confusing to me as a child. I grew up right outside Washington, D.C,. and remember our parents seriously worried that the Russians were going to nuke the capital from Cuba, and people not being able to go to work in the city because of rioting. And when we had our duck and cover drills under our desks, I wondered how a wooden desk was supposed to protect me from a nuclear weapon. I remember my 3rd grade teacher crying when they announced over the school loudspeaker that Kennedy was assassinated, and I saw Jack Ruby shoot Oswald on TV. The Watts riots in '65, both Bobby Kennedy and MLK assassinated in '68.

My young years were very tumultuous and worrisome.
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Old 10-27-2018, 04:03 AM
 
1,565 posts, read 406,894 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davebarnes View Post
Is being a smart aleck a disorder?
No, that's an asset!
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Old 10-27-2018, 04:18 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,566 posts, read 52,749,647 times
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I dunno, dude.
My kids (and several others we know) don't watch tv or get electronic time. Or if they do, it is 15 minutes a day.

They also play in their rooms with their own imagination, play made-up violent games at recess (superhero-villain fights, dinosaurs eating each other, Ninjago, etc), and get PE every day.
They also have chores.

I think this helicopter-zombie thing is overstated.
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Old 10-27-2018, 07:06 AM
 
1,688 posts, read 580,080 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyJuly View Post
My own kids were raised to have many privileges, as long as they are respectful and polite. An only child or grandchild will be indulged by doting parents and grandparents.

Agreed. Our son was raised the same way.

His playmates had certain rules that we just didn't see the sense of. For example, homework: Most of them had to do homework either right after school or before any playtime. Our only rule was that it had to be done before he went to bed (which was typically between 10 and 11 pm because we were all night owls by nature.) It didn't matter to us whether he did his homework at 3 pm, 6 pm, 8 pm or 9:30 pm as long as it got done.... which is the whole point of homework, isn't it? To do it.

He watched the same tv shows I did. That said, I've never been a fan of horror movies or R-rated stuff but we didn't even have cable during the 1980s. It wasn't available. I think we first got it during the early 1990s and we never bothered with the premium channels. When he was 3 years old I rented the first Star Wars movies from Blockbuster and he loved them. Insisted on dressing up as Luke Skywalker that year for Halloween, lol.

He had electronic toys (Game Boy, Nintendo, Sega) because both he and I thought they were fun and fascinating. He'd beat me at Super Mario Bros but I regularly cleaned his clock at Tetris. ;-)

Last edited by BBCjunkie; 10-27-2018 at 07:15 AM..
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