U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-30-2018, 07:42 AM
 
Location: Ohio
194 posts, read 116,244 times
Reputation: 282

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
Thanks. I've never been like this so it's weird. My memory is always pretty sharp.

I especially worry because my mother had a touch of something as she got older. I don't know if she was ever diagnosed; we don't speak partly because of it after my dad passed. She's always remembered events totally different from what they happened; her version was always a new narrative opposite what 10 other people saw. She also had some comprehension issues. She's also believing a made up narrative of events from a sibling that didn't speak to my parents for 10 years that never happened

I'll just stay aware of it and if I feel it's worst will go see someone. I'd rather be safe then sorry and be able to be helped.
At your age, it could be symptoms of menopause or hormone imbalance. If you're concerned, you may want to find a good functional medicine doctor - or a physician you trust who will be thorough with testing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-30-2018, 07:54 AM
 
20,728 posts, read 13,741,528 times
Reputation: 14398
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
At some point, something will give, if it isn't already "giving" already.

I live in a small metro area that has a regional state university. The school is kind of reinventing itself toward health sciences. There's a college of nursing (with graduate level nursing degree, FNPs, etc.), a medical school (a lot of PAs too - though I don't know if they are under the nursing or medical school umbrella), and a pharmacy school - perhaps some tangential stuff like PT/OT/SLP.

RN-BSNs only start out at $18-$19/hr here, before any premium pay codes/shift pay apply. They can go down to Knoxville's health system and start at around $25/hr. This area ends up with a constant churn of new grad nurses that leave once they get a year or two of experience on the hospital floor. Most of the hospital RNs are middle aged and older. Young people with skills and options aren't going to put up with a pay differential like that if they can help it. The PCTs/CNAs/LPNs probably wouldn't make enough of a difference elsewhere to make it worth the move.

The only RN I've seen at the nursing home my girlfriend is at is probably 70. There are a lot of young CNAs, but that's a month or two month long course at a community college. It is, at best, a paraprofessional role.



The nursing home my girlfriend is in is located in Virginia by a few hundred yards. She's technically in the "rehab" program, but the full-time skilled nursing and rehab patients are all in the same rooms together. She's had several roommates, all of whom were 90+, and from extremely impoverished small towns in southwest Virginia. That's going to be 100% Medicaid - none of those folks are likely to have any money.

Thankfully, this nursing home is part of a larger organization that has facilities throughout northern VA. I'm sure the dollars from northern VA pay the bills for the facilities down here.

Much of what goes on in skilled nursing and or rehabilitation facilities was once done in hospital. After major (or even minor) surgery, illness, stroke, heart attack, etc... you remained in hospital until well enough to go home, not any longer.


What began with labor and delivery (drive through births where normal delivery sees a mom and healthy infant discharged in < 24 hours (maybe 48) afterwards, has moved onto pretty much everything else. That is once the acute event has passed patients are either sent home or to skilled nursing/rehab. Comatose and other patients who once remained in hospital also are now usually sent to same places.


Nursing homes OTOH facing loss their usual population due to the whole "aging in place" largely have welcomed the "skilled nursing/rehab" change. Many have made changes that allow them to capture that market and thus fill what otherwise would be empty beds.


Skilled nursing/rehab beds are less costly for Medicaid/Medicare or insurance than inpatient hospital. But IMHO clearly there is a rush to get patients out of hospital beds and somewhere else before they ought.


To show how much things have changed many schools of nursing send students to skilled nursing/rehab for medical/surgical and some other clinical rotations. Simply because the patients they would have seen years ago in hospitals are now moved elsewhere. A two or three day post-op patient who is stable likely moved on for instance.


The new graduate nurse churn happens everywhere. Many of the large urban areas (New York, Boston, much of California, etc...) produce far too many new nurses every six or twelve months for local markets to absorb. Worse they don't have the experience hospitals want/require, and or maybe not even the magical BSN. So these newly licensed nurses pack up and go to another state/area, work for two or so years and get their BSN (if they don't have it already). In about three years or so they pack up and go back where they came from to find work.


Nursing homes, skilled facilities and rehab often have a huge issue with turnover of all staff. Many new grad RN unable to find work in hospitals "settle" for such jobs. They will leave soon as they can for a "real" nursing job in hospital.


Nursing assistants, techs, and other support staff are normally a revolving door. Pick a reason; pay, working conditions, hours/schedules, and or terminated for a host of reasons up to and including patient abuse, theft and other things.


In both cases many places are turning to hiring Pilipino nurses and aides. They simply tell the federal government there is a "shortage" and they cannot find staff.


North Dakota for instance is booming, but cannot find nor retain large numbers of nurses (winters in ND aren't for everyone), so places have been hiring foreign nurses to fill the gaps.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-30-2018, 08:32 AM
 
1,567 posts, read 579,579 times
Reputation: 3341
Quote:
Originally Posted by LookingatFL View Post
One of the problems is that it isn't easy to get a dementia diagnosis. I can tell that my husband has memory issues. His sister started complaining about her memory issues before she was 65 and it wasn't until she was 70 that she was told she has Alz. My husband has the same problems as she did, but he is being told it is because it is (1) natural aging, (2) low testosterone, (3) diabetes side effects, (4) low B2. Nothing we have done has helped, and I don't know why the doctors won't do more than give me a pat on the back and tell me not to worry about him.

You cannot know how difficult it is to watch your spouse slip away mentally. He becomes lost on roads he has traveled for decades. He drives through stop signs without stopping. He can't remember things that happen or conversations that we have had. This is not normal aging.

I am sure if you ask your wife if she is noticing changes, she will be able to tell you.
Sadly, my husband was diagnosed with Alz [not dementia yet] last year at 64. No family history or health risk like diabetes. But it happened, and will now completely change our retirement. DH was diagnosed at a very specialized Alz research clinic. The worst part [that he hates] is because of memory test scores, they recommended he give up driving. This has been a burden to me, as I have health issues too.

Both our lawyer and pastor told us not to take a chance with the driving due to possible lawsuits. And the fear of injuring an innocent party. He now has an ID card and does not drive, although he could likely drive across the U.S. on back highways; he has always had a great sense of direction; it is what it is. We cannot afford the risk.

LookingatFL -- Good luck with your husband's situation. I hope you can get some more answers.And protect your own situation, too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-30-2018, 10:32 AM
 
13,885 posts, read 7,395,585 times
Reputation: 25366
Quote:
Originally Posted by BugsyPal View Post
Nursing homes OTOH facing loss their usual population due to the whole "aging in place" largely have welcomed the "skilled nursing/rehab" change. Many have made changes that allow them to capture that market and thus fill what otherwise would be empty beds.

"Age in place" is hardly new. It's what people always deferred going to "The Home" whenever possible.


The big changes are the declining birth rates where more and more of the elderly don't have the option of living with their children. ...and the decline of the middle class where their children often don't have the ability to house their parents. Combine that with income and wealth stratification where only the top 20% to 30% of the elderly can afford the usual assisted living to memory care to nursing home path. Everyone else lands in Medicaid-funded nursing homes where the nursing home gets paid 40 cents on the dollar compared to Medicare or private pay.


My mother is burning through $110K/year in a memory care facility. The three years before that, she was burning through $75K/year at an assisted living facility plus other expenses to bring in outside people. If she declines to the point where she needs to be in a skilled nursing facility, it jacks up to $150K+/year. This is a money problem. Most elderly run out of money after a year or two of it once they decline to the point where they can't live independently. If you don't have family to bail you out, you're double occupancy in a Medicaid-funded nursing home.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-30-2018, 10:47 AM
 
Location: NJ
10,674 posts, read 21,348,205 times
Reputation: 8843
Quote:
Originally Posted by dwnmo View Post
At your age, it could be symptoms of menopause or hormone imbalance. If you're concerned, you may want to find a good functional medicine doctor - or a physician you trust who will be thorough with testing.
Done with menopause. Will mention to my GP next time I see her. She just ran a bunch of blood less then 6 months ago cause I dropped 30 lbs last year. Went from 145 to 115, no clue why so she did all sorts of stuff.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-30-2018, 11:30 AM
 
Location: Raleigh
8,310 posts, read 6,159,502 times
Reputation: 11605
Quote:
Originally Posted by BugsyPal View Post
Nursing homes OTOH facing loss their usual population due to the whole "aging in place" largely have welcomed the "skilled nursing/rehab" change. Many have made changes that allow them to capture that market and thus fill what otherwise would be empty beds.
"Aging in Place" is a fantasy for many. It requires not only a lot of money but a lot of forethought and hope that one doesn't develop a problem that makes it unfeasible. And often requires moving to a senior community of some sort.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-30-2018, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Canada
5,753 posts, read 4,167,874 times
Reputation: 15485
Quote:
Originally Posted by LookingatFL View Post
One of the problems is that it isn't easy to get a dementia diagnosis. I can tell that my husband has memory issues. His sister started complaining about her memory issues before she was 65 and it wasn't until she was 70 that she was told she has Alz. My husband has the same problems as she did, but he is being told it is because it is (1) natural aging, (2) low testosterone, (3) diabetes side effects, (4) low B2. Nothing we have done has helped, and I don't know why the doctors won't do more than give me a pat on the back and tell me not to worry about him.

You cannot know how difficult it is to watch your spouse slip away mentally. He becomes lost on roads he has traveled for decades. He drives through stop signs without stopping. He can't remember things that happen or conversations that we have had. This is not normal aging.

I am sure if you ask your wife if she is noticing changes, she will be able to tell you.
I have read somewhere that one of the first signs of Alzheimer's is that people can't find their way home when driving. IMO, you should seek another opinion from a different doctor. He might be able to take meds to slow this down. Good luck!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-30-2018, 01:22 PM
 
2,677 posts, read 1,070,961 times
Reputation: 5168
Any aged person will have some memory loss that's normal. Has your family noticed it?
If you think your memory lapses are far worse than normal see your doctor for an evaluation and repeat it annually. There is a list of questions and memory tests that doctors use to do this evaluation.

My grandmother had Alz. and my mother suffers with dementia. Does that mean I will get it?
It's not certain. But so far it's my essential medications that cause my memory loss.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-30-2018, 03:04 PM
 
20,728 posts, read 13,741,528 times
Reputation: 14398
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
"Age in place" is hardly new. It's what people always deferred going to "The Home" whenever possible.


The big changes are the declining birth rates where more and more of the elderly don't have the option of living with their children. ...and the decline of the middle class where their children often don't have the ability to house their parents. Combine that with income and wealth stratification where only the top 20% to 30% of the elderly can afford the usual assisted living to memory care to nursing home path. Everyone else lands in Medicaid-funded nursing homes where the nursing home gets paid 40 cents on the dollar compared to Medicare or private pay.


My mother is burning through $110K/year in a memory care facility. The three years before that, she was burning through $75K/year at an assisted living facility plus other expenses to bring in outside people. If she declines to the point where she needs to be in a skilled nursing facility, it jacks up to $150K+/year. This is a money problem. Most elderly run out of money after a year or two of it once they decline to the point where they can't live independently. If you don't have family to bail you out, you're double occupancy in a Medicaid-funded nursing home.

I'll tell you what, someone or whatever had better get a grip on what's coming down the pike, otherwise things aren't going to be pretty.


If one has this correct, and believe one does, beginning about now and for next several decades the USA is going to enter a demographic period it hasn't seen in history or for a long time. Large numbers of persons as seniors or elderly with *no* family.


The Baby Boomers did many things to shake up society, some of them were high divorce rates, women (or men) who never married, along with never having children. Even when they did reproduce often there is lingering resentment of a backstory (a dad who left mom, etc...) that will make surviving children reluctant to down right refuse anything to do with their aging parent.


Females tend to live longer than males, and even when provided for are outliving those funds. This and or for females who were "career women" all their lives (again no marriage or children), given the wage discrimination that prevailed for most of their working lives will enter retirement often with not huge sums.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-30-2018, 03:12 PM
 
8,834 posts, read 5,126,299 times
Reputation: 10096
Quote:
Originally Posted by grampaTom View Post
Remember folks: forgetting where you put the house key is not necessarily a problem. Standing at your door with the key in your hand and not knowing how to get in is.

There is a long continuum of cognitive decline and most of us are somewhere on the arc. Lord knows I am.

If you have concerns talk to a professional (as stated above).

Sorry OP -- almost forgot (not joking) we are definitely NOT prepared for the number of dementia patients soon to need help.
That's sort of what my mother's doctor told her. He said "finding your car keys in your refrigerator, picking them up, and not knowing how they got there is not a problem. Picking them up and not knowing what they are is a problem."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top