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Old 11-11-2018, 07:57 AM
 
1,257 posts, read 288,549 times
Reputation: 1510

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
You couldnít be more wrong . Your post is nonsense and if you donít like what I post donít read it . For the record I grew up in a New York City housing project because we could barely rub 2 nickles together . You wouldnít want my life in the projects .

My life has been devoted to never going back or raising my own family in one . I made sure I was successful enough to never look back no matter what it took.

I also was never ever in to drugs or drinking for that better .

You know nothing about my life so save your demeaning comments because what you said about my life , pertaining to you know my type and I came from rich parents and a life of drugs could not be more ludicrous.

For the record my mother had undiagnosed rheumatic fever as a kid and had an enlarged heart .she had a near fatal heart attack giving birth to my sister which severely damaged her heart . The medical bills were crushing for the rest of her life so it consumed most of my dads income . We were forced to live in a New York City housing project because we had no choice ,there was just to little in income to go anywhere else and my dad already worked two jobs .

She died at age 55.

Raising my own family being poor was never going to be an option no matter what I had to do and that motivated me all my life.

This is hardly the life you painted for me in your nonsensical mind.
Don't you just love it when someone tries to rewrite your history? And on top of that, they credit all your hard work and smart choices to "good fortune". Wow.

 
Old 11-11-2018, 08:43 AM
 
10,331 posts, read 9,376,947 times
Reputation: 15920
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
Okay, big whoop. You were one of the kids who decided to get into the drugs/hippy culture who had rich families. I knew them. I went to school with them at a private school. But, my dad worked two jobs so I could go to that school. I was the low income kid.

My folks couldn't afford to send us all to college, so the boy of the family got to go. I had to work and go to school, if I wanted to go, and of course, married young and had a kid, etc., etc., etc.

So, just because you embraced the hippy/drug culture, has nothing to do with you not being blessed with an easier life.

It also does not give you any kind of right to feel superior to anyone who hasn't been blessed with your good financial fortune.

It just irks me to no end how people like you tend to criticize anyone who has not had your good fortune, as being somehow lazier or dumber than you.
I am glad there are some who were able to come out ahead - that's wonderful!

However, NoMoreSnowForMe is correct about those who pulled themselves up and have the 'holier than thou' attitude judging those who faced circumstances preventing them from having financial success.

The "Well, I did it, why didn't you?" mindset is ludicrous.
 
Old 11-11-2018, 08:59 AM
 
11,985 posts, read 5,119,111 times
Reputation: 18734
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
Your sexist comments completely ignore the role of men in their families. How are man considering having it all-career, marriage, family, etc? See how that works?
Actually men don't get to have it all either. There are single men who are raising their children out there too. Either way the best case scenario is when two people decide to raise children together and they decide together which is going to work and support the family financially and which is going to stay home and raise the children giving the children the time and emotional support they need.
No single person has it all, not even if they can afford to hire a nanny and have the nanny raise his or her children. It's not the same.
I realize we don't live in an ideal world, but I do believe having two people working as a team to raise a family is the best case.
 
Old 11-11-2018, 09:12 AM
 
1,257 posts, read 288,549 times
Reputation: 1510
Quote:
Originally Posted by katie45 View Post
I am glad there are some who were able to come out ahead - that's wonderful!

However, NoMoreSnowForMe is correct about those who pulled themselves up and have the 'holier than thou' attitude judging those who faced circumstances preventing them from having financial success.

The "Well, I did it, why didn't you?" mindset is ludicrous.
I think you missed the whole point where NoMoreSnow created an alternate history and then used that pretext to paint someone's "How I did it" as bragging.
 
Old 11-11-2018, 09:22 AM
 
Location: northern New England
2,445 posts, read 1,063,865 times
Reputation: 9547
This whole thread has gotten a bit off topic and argumentative. Anyone have anything else pertinent to add before it gets closed?
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Old 11-11-2018, 09:38 AM
 
6,250 posts, read 4,728,813 times
Reputation: 12828
Quote:
Originally Posted by ComeCloser View Post
I don't see why anyone would consider children raising themselves so that their single mother can put herself through college and then embark on a full-time career to be optimal. Or, be raised by strangers in daycare, until they are old enough to supervise themselves - which is a joke.

The 50s mother was hardly a failure. Our society is a failure, when even middle class kids growing up with no structure, don't know how to act, and find themselves pregnant or in trouble with the law because no one has had an eye on them.

The 50s child knew how to act, in most cases regardless of that child's socio-economic status. The 50s child did not need to be drugged to be kept in line and sociable, or simply be able to sit quietly in school or other public venue.

The 50s child ate well, and could not do anything until they did their homework because someone was there when they got home from school making sure they did their homework.

Its not fair to any child, or any woman, to think you can simultaneously raise a family alone, go to college, and work full time, and no one will suffer for that choice. Everyone is suffering whether anyone wants to admit that fact or not.

I disagree with every one of your ideas to the point where I believe that raising kids as we used to almost qualifies as child abuse.


"Raised by strangers..." Really, the daycare staff is no more a stranger than the teachers in school. I have been really impressed with the daycare staff for my grandkids. They are caring and well trained individuals. In addition each class often has an intern from the local University. The interns are typically studying child psych and are interested in the latest techniques of child development. Something mom typically has not studied.


"finding themselves pregnant...." This is a serious problem for young women who see nothing in life except having kids and being married. Many of them rush into marriage at an early age and are soon single again with kids to raise. Others don't wait and become pregnant before marriage. Not having suitable role models and not seeing other possibilities can be contributing factors.


"they did their homework..." Fortunately we are learning that the vast majority of homework was worthless and did not contribute to learning. Many schools or individual teachers have dropped this nonsense.


"Its not fair to any child, or any woman, to think you can simultaneously raise a family alone..." I agree except I would add that it is equally hard on any man trying to do the same. Raising kids as a single parent is tough. Family lifestyles have changed. When my older daughter had two kids, she returned to work full time and the son in law stayed at home, watching the kids and working on a part time business. I have 2 cousins where the husbands did the child raising. In one case the woman was a physician and the husband stayed at home. In the other case the husband was at home in the day while the wife worked and at night he worked a full time job.


The world has changed from the way it was back on the farm. Most of us will be employed in large workplace environments where teamwork is essential. Schools and daycare experiences can help develop the skills needed. Next the vast majority of women want more than sitting around the house cleaning and cooking and recleaning while the kids are in school. They want careers, achievements, success and their place in running corporations and our governments. Working parents help as role models.
 
Old 11-11-2018, 09:38 AM
 
1,257 posts, read 288,549 times
Reputation: 1510
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTsnowbird View Post
This whole thread has gotten a bit off topic and argumentative. Anyone have anything else pertinent to add before it gets closed?
This subject is always going to be contentious and opinionated as people apply their own attitudes and situations to it. But I think it's a valid retirement subject; maybe it should be couched in a more specific thread on senior poverty.

That's all I have.

Cheers!
 
Old 11-11-2018, 09:50 AM
 
8,845 posts, read 5,129,939 times
Reputation: 10112
Quote:
Originally Posted by ComeCloser View Post
I don't see why anyone would consider children raising themselves so that their single mother can put herself through college and then embark on a full-time career to be optimal. Or, be raised by strangers in daycare, until they are old enough to supervise themselves - which is a joke.

The 50s mother was hardly a failure. Our society is a failure, when even middle class kids growing up with no structure, don't know how to act, and find themselves pregnant or in trouble with the law because no one has had an eye on them.

The 50s child knew how to act, in most cases regardless of that child's socio-economic status. The 50s child did not need to be drugged to be kept in line and sociable, or simply be able to sit quietly in school or other public venue.

The 50s child ate well, and could not do anything until they did their homework because someone was there when they got home from school making sure they did their homework.

Its not fair to any child, or any woman, to think you can simultaneously raise a family alone, go to college, and work full time, and no one will suffer for that choice. Everyone is suffering whether anyone wants to admit that fact or not.
Whether or not a woman wants to be a full-time homemaker is really up to her.
 
Old 11-11-2018, 10:17 AM
 
Location: Paranoid State
13,047 posts, read 10,437,354 times
Reputation: 15683
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
Golden Girls isn't just a 1980s/early 1990s TV show. It's kind of inevitable that a ton of Boomer retirees are going to have to opt for group living situations since so many are going to have no savings and nothing but a Social Security check for income. This isn't about "desire". It's economic necessity. As reproductive rates continue to drop, more and more elderly won't have children to help.
Some may discover they really enjoy group living. Social isolation can be a problem among the elderly.

I think different architectural styles will make it more appealing - for example, a residence where every bedroom is a master bedroom.
 
Old 11-11-2018, 10:32 AM
 
6,250 posts, read 4,728,813 times
Reputation: 12828
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTsnowbird View Post
This whole thread has gotten a bit off topic and argumentative. Anyone have anything else pertinent to add before it gets closed?
Before it is closed, I would be interested in hearing the policy. I thought there was a sticky welcoming broad types of discussions that might not be that strongly related to retirement. Is there a policy that threads should not deviate from the original premise? I see a lot of disagreement and different points of view being expressed. I think we can all learn from that. Considering the major differences in opinion it seems to me that the discussions have been tempered with politeness except for one or two individuals who resolved their frustrations by using the ignore setting.
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