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Old 11-19-2018, 08:53 AM
 
1,327 posts, read 650,208 times
Reputation: 4270

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Hate those feel good holiday commercial`s where everyone is sitting around the table, and everything is perfect. It makes you feel bad, because your holiday will not be perfect.
I am happy those big family holiday`s with all the work and bickering are over.
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Old 11-19-2018, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,142 posts, read 54,613,656 times
Reputation: 66544
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcandme View Post
Hate those feel good holiday commercial`s where everyone is sitting around the table, and everything is perfect. It makes you feel bad, because your holiday will not be perfect.
I am happy those big family holiday`s with all the work and bickering are over.
I don't think anyone's is ever perfect. People are just not perfect.

I have good memories of holidays when the kids in the family were small and people who are now gone were still alive. I'll just hang on to those.
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Old 11-19-2018, 09:24 AM
 
5,451 posts, read 2,836,728 times
Reputation: 10225
Quote:
Originally Posted by galaxyhi View Post
Hes bitterly disappointed regardless of what we do. He was disappointed when i DID put on the whole shebang.

There is tension so thick between my OH and my FIL that you can cut the air with a knife. They never have gotten along, ever. You cannot put those two in the same room, heck they cant even talk civilly on the phone let alone be in the same room without fighting.

He is 90 and is bitter ti be living do long especially since MIL died. I only continued to do the whole shebang for MIL. My mother passed away many years ago. Lonv after i was physically able to do it anymore.

Since YOU dont know the family dynamics AT ALL, its NOT YOUR PLACE to pass judgement on anything i said.

Perhaps you need to know more about people and familial situations before YOU decide how people should handle things .


And my father? He doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving anymore sinve my mother passed. Has no desire to.

Now you know more THAN i wanted to tell based on YOUR RUDE SUGGESTION.

sheesh

Judge not lest ye be judged...

You could have said, “The two fathers do not get along at all and cannot be in the same room” instead of barking at someone who made an innocent, well-meaning suggestion. No more details were necessary.
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Old 11-19-2018, 09:30 AM
 
5,451 posts, read 2,836,728 times
Reputation: 10225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Over the hill gang View Post
It really wasn't intended to be that way. In the title I said, How many of you that retired will have Thanksgiving alone or just with spouse? I do realize that there are people alone. I later said please tell us what you have planned because I love reading on this forum and thought it would be a nice subject. I wanted everyone to be included.

We have no kids unless you count our two dogs. After my divorce and before I met my 2nd husband I spent holiday's alone and it really didn't bother me, it was just another day. Don't get me wrong years ago I loved big Thanksgiving and Christmas family meals but that changed for me when I lost my family and then my close friends. It actually happens to a lot of people.

My husband and I aren't big eaters so I don't do a big meal for us, he's not big on eating leftovers for several days and he can't have turkey. We do get invited to join others for dinner but we always choose to stay home and watch the parade and just have a nice quiet day. My husband had to travel in his job so we spent so little time together and actually enjoy it now. I now look at Thanksgiving as a day to just be thankful for something. For me, I'm thankful I still have my husband, he's had a rough 4 years. And today is our Anniversary, we made it another year.

Happy Thanksgiving.
And you thought it would be a friendly, chatty thread, not an argument over semantics.

Despite the derailments, you continue to express gratitude for good things in your life. I think that demonstrates true thanks-giving.

Have a great celebration!
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Old 11-19-2018, 10:06 AM
 
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
2,450 posts, read 3,668,587 times
Reputation: 4830
Medium likelihood it will be just the Wife and I.


My wife invited her entire family (Mother and four siblings) to our home for thanksgiving since her mother is 80 and should not be planning and cooking the Thanksgiving meal. So far her siblings are refusing to drive to our house, somehow the round trip distance is significantly longer when the trip starts at their side of the state. Her youngest brother and his toddler daughter may come but they have also been invited to the meal his 80 year old mother is hosting - a decision my M-I-L made after knowing we had already done all the shopping, invited everyone, and tried to assist with travel plans for her family.


We were certain our youngest son would be arriving for the weekend but learned last night he may now be visiting his fiancée in Boston.


Our oldest son and his wife have other plans for this year that we have known about for months.


My youngest sister is in the same boat. One daughter will be in South Carolina for a combined Thanksgiving/Christmas celebration with her in-laws, while the other daughter is still incommunicado in New Hampshire.


Both my sister and my wife are holding out hopes that one of their children will attend, making it difficult to do alternate plans.


My older sister is home-bound and works from her house as a Book Keeper. She already said we should not plan on delivering a meal to her on Thanksgiving as Thursdays are her busiest day every week and this week will be no different.


sigh..........
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Old 11-19-2018, 10:38 AM
 
13,323 posts, read 25,574,131 times
Reputation: 20515
I have never seen "the holidays" as a family thing, and have no family at this point. Between restaurants and hospitals, I always chose to work the holidays. This is my first season in retirement. A new friend I've met here in my new town is having a potluck (since no one is a very good cook) and I'm taking custom cupcakes for desert. Thanksgiving in the past has been friend groups, both of which ended as friendships do, with someone moving, someone dying, someone divorcing.

Doing nothing in particular would suit me fine. I don't begrudge anyone their enjoyment of holidays, whatever it means to them (and it used to mean lots of food at work!) but I prefer that I be left alone about observations. As much as I've felt I've gotten more and more OK with the season, I still feel every New Year's Day like a weight is taken off.
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Old 11-19-2018, 11:12 AM
 
4,443 posts, read 2,618,160 times
Reputation: 10368
Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabike View Post
You could have said, “The two fathers do not get along at all and cannot be in the same room” instead of barking at someone who made an innocent, well-meaning suggestion. No more details were necessary.
Its my OH (Other Half, spouse) and my FIL who dont get along. Father and child.

Our two fathers never see each other.

See you STILL jump to conclusions.


Sheesh.

No comment was necessary to my original post anyway.

Some people cant help sticking in where it doesnt belong, i guess.

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Old 11-19-2018, 11:21 AM
 
6,603 posts, read 1,364,850 times
Reputation: 16691
Quote:
Originally Posted by galaxyhi View Post

Since YOU dont know the family dynamics AT ALL, its NOT YOUR PLACE to pass judgement on anything i said.

Perhaps you need to know more about people and familial situations before YOU decide how people should handle things .

Now you know more THAN i wanted to tell based on YOUR RUDE SUGGESTION.
I truly think that the people who responded to you were just trying to be helpful and not judgmental. However, I have gathered from your other posts elsewhere (as well as in this thread) that you are VERY stressed, and so I think that you might be a little over-sensitive, which is completely understandable.

Perhaps -- and I mean this kindly -- you might want to avoid those threads that might just add to your stress and/or possibly anger you. You also might want to at least consider the possibility that a response to your post is not unkindly meant, and/or ask for a clarification. (That happened to me just the other day that I thought someone had made a very snarky reply to one of my posts, so I asked for an explanation, and it turned out that I had completely misunderstood the reply.)
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Old 11-19-2018, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,693 posts, read 4,725,286 times
Reputation: 28186
We're going to South America for Thanksgiving.

No, not really. Someone upthread mentioned Brazilian steak and it turned out that was something both of us had wanted to do for some time, only we'd never discussed it.

There are Brazilian steakhouses popping up all over here. I had a full roast turkey dinner at Harris Ranch yesterday so that'll do me, gobbler-wise. Brazilians fire-roast their meat and seafood. I've heard it's quite special.

We chose Fogo de Chão in Santana Row, an upscale mixed use development in San Jose. Fun place to walk around and window-shop.
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Old 11-19-2018, 12:14 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,093 posts, read 5,918,284 times
Reputation: 30347
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcandme View Post
Hate those feel good holiday commercial`s where everyone is sitting around the table, and everything is perfect. It makes you feel bad, because your holiday will not be perfect.
I am happy those big family holiday`s with all the work and bickering are over.


Don't feel bad, marcandme....it's not REAL!
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