Is Depression a Stage of Retirement? (marriage, state, relatives, friends)
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I...
I have been enjoying retirement so much. I have heard there is a "Honeymoon stage.' Is this just another stage that will quickly be over with? I am so sad and I feel so alone.
Please , if anyone can help.
It certainly sounds like your issues aren't related to retirement at all, and I know you are glad to be retired and in this new life. Your family/interpersonal issues and terrible early trauma are pretty clearly the cause of your depression, especially as an anniversary (Christmas) approaches. I certainly hope you have had or can get some talk therapy for these issues, if not medication for depression. This much trauma is just unmanageable. Best thoughts to you.
Thank you all, for what you have written, and mstly for bothering to respond. There are few things that feel better than feeling others care. I am already on antidepressants. I think that I will call tommorrow for some therapy. I will follow all advice given. I have actually been sliding down for awhile now, but it hit so strong today. I think what really set me off today, was because when Bobby thought the video of a 3 year old girl was his infant great grand daughter, I realized that I can't just pretend to myself that Bobby is really doing okay, he is just getting old and has been misdiagnosed. There have actually been other things as big or bigger, but when he mistook a toddler for a newborn, the cocoon of denial just burst open.
I am not doing so well...actually dreading Christmas.There are some things going on.Youngest son keeps attempting suicide[getting closer every time, and says that next time it won't be "practice"] Bobby and I became great grandparents nearly 2 months ago. Bobby is doing pretty good as far as the alzheimers, but yesterday we were looking at gran daughters facebook page to see pictures of our new great granddaughter. My granddaughter had posted a video of a 3 year old little girl singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" and Bobby thought she was our 2 month old great granddaughter.
Plus Christmas is coming. Last Christmas was my moms' last Christmas, and we all knew that.She lived a month longer. My brother had power of attorney. He has has always been a monster, but he got especially angry that I am publicly speaking to help people who were sexually abused by family members AND telling the full story of what he did to me-and how he forced me to watch him rape other little girls. We drove the 2 and a half hour drive to my moms' house, and was not allowed in. My mom had made us promise we would be there, but it did not matter. After she died, we were not allowed to even go say goodbye to the house, let alone say goodbye to it.
Mostly, though, things are good. Bobby is so sweet, as is youngest son [the one I am worried about] The dog, goats and chickens are doing okay. I have been invite to give a presentation in Israel this spring. I possibly even lost a pound or 2.
But I am so so so depressed. I am already on antidepressants [son is as well, plus regular counseling] and I don't know why I am so incredibly depressed. I am either crying and I can't stop, or not crying and knowing that I can't cry one tear.
I have been enjoying retirement so much. I have heard there is a "Honeymoon stage.' Is this just another stage that will quickly be over with? I am so sad and I feel so alone.
Please , if anyone can help.
Good grief this isn’t about retirement but a whole host of things and no wonder you are having a hard time.
I agree with other posters ,time to call a therapist. Keep in mind you can call a local crisis hotline if you need to talk to someone and need help ,they can recommend support groups that deal with specific areas of concern. Sometimes just talking to someone trained to listen can be helpful.
vicky3vicky, with all you are going through, there is a lot of grief and trauma mixed in with your depression.
Grief and trauma feel a lot like depression but they are separate emotions and they have a separate purpose then depression.
Please be kind and gentle with yourself. What you are feeling under the circumstances is entirely normal and rational. Crying is part of it and is helping to reduce the tension. If you feel the need to cry, then cry. Crying is beneficial right now.
Please seek out a grief therapist to help you through this very emotional time.
Sending best wishes, thoughts, and prayers for an easier time. Please make sure to keep us posted. As you can see from the number of responses you have friends here who care.
vicky3vicky: I am so sorry you are going through all of this. And the holidays on top of it don't make life easier. I've had my share of bumps in life but I believe you have me beat.
If I could, I would come to give you a hug and take you out for coffee/breakfast/lunch. Sometimes just getting away from it all, out of the house. See some different things to get your mind off the immediate problems. I know they will still be there, but you need a break to clear your mind and maybe see those problems with fresh eyes.
The posters above have given many excellent suggestions. Counseling is a good idea. But I've had plenty of it to know that unless you find the "right fit", it won't help at all. Do you have a trusted good friend you can talk to? Sometimes just venting to a friend can help a lot.
Your issues are serious. I know they are all you can think about right now. Take some deep breaths. Have a cup of tea or coffee. Take a walk. Do you have pets? They can help so much.
Please let us know how you are doing. I care about you and will pray for you.
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