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Old 11-26-2018, 07:14 AM
 
Location: Gulf Coast
284 posts, read 595,954 times
Reputation: 448

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tim Randal Walker View Post
I'm not retired yet, but I got burned by an employer some years ago. Having learned through experience that corporate America has no loyalty to its employees, I have since cultivated emotional detachment from the job and employer. I do not regard work as part of my identity, its just something I do to pay the bills.
I'm coming to terms with this. I'm in my late 30's and have jumped from job to job. The longest I've stayed in one job was 6 years, and it allowed me to travel all of the US. It was great at the time, but the travel eventually got old, and the company got bought out. I bailed after that seeing the writing on the wall, and sure enough, the position I had was later eliminated. I had a horrible boss that made the job miserable, but the company treated me well; great benefits and experience.

I've been fortunate to work in a variety of fields, and I've taken experience and knowledge from everywhere I've worked. I was the kid who worked in school and didn't party--straight A's all through high school; I graduated college with a 3.7 GPA in Finance. I was determined to climb the corporate ladder. Then, reality hit. I loathed the micromanaging bosses, the politics and bureaucracy, the mind-numbing work, the cubicle prison, etc.---the larger the company, the worse it was. I was laid off once with a small severance and was only out of work for a little over 2 months. It was the most liberating, awesome time! No boss, no alarm clock, getting up each day and planning what I wanted to do, etc. The only bad part was the active job search and fear that I wouldn't find anything for awhile and run out of money.

I've hated almost every job I've had. Now, I just want something tolerable; otherwise, I can't imagine doing this for another 28 years. For those of you that put in all those years at less-than-desirable jobs, what kept you going (other than I need a paycheck)? Doing what you enjoy can only go so far and is not often feasible. Starting over at mid-life to take a pay cut to 1/2 of what you're making is also not feasible. I'm looking to enjoy my life outside of work with my wife, take as many trips as possible, make the most of our time together, (especially weekends), but you spend so much time at a job that there's not much time leftover. 2 weeks vacation a year isn't near enough. I've realized I like working for smaller companies where I can wear different hats, have more challenges/interesting tasks, be recognized for what I accomplish, etc. In large organizations, I find that you can simply just show up to work with minimal expectations and hide as a staff member in large departments; the boredom is excruciating.

I do know that I don't want to be the OP. I want to do whatever it takes NOW to find something I don't dread daily and live for Friday afternoons.
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Old 11-26-2018, 07:43 AM
 
7,922 posts, read 5,039,870 times
Reputation: 13577
Quote:
Originally Posted by JRA2000TL View Post
...I was laid off once with a small severance and was only out of work for a little over 2 months. It was the most liberating, awesome time! No boss, no alarm clock, getting up each day and planning what I wanted to do, etc. The only bad part was the active job search and fear that I wouldn't find anything for awhile and run out of money.

I've hated almost every job I've had. Now, I just want something tolerable; otherwise, I can't imagine doing this for another 28 years. For those of you that put in all those years at less-than-desirable jobs, what kept you going (other than I need a paycheck)? Doing what you enjoy can only go so far and is not often feasible.
I was fortunate to find consonance between what I enjoyed, what was accessible to me, and what offered a decent paycheck, starting early in life. As the years proceeded, the various stages of cynicism, jadedness and ennui arose. This Forum, it seems, is replete with cases of people who started slowly, tentatively, perhaps even blindly... but who persevered and improved themselves, eventually building fine careers, and retiring sometime between late-50s and mid-60s. My own case is exactly the opposite... starting out well, then gradually dissipating, until a final break.

There's no universal remedy or recipe. But a common theme, I think, is to find a vocation where one feels satisfaction in doing the job itself, whether or not the company or the boss or the clients care. "Satisfaction" could mean accurately machining some part, or brilliantly executing a financial trade, or publishing a scholarly paper. Then, one feels joy in having done what one did, even if cubicle-life is oppressive and bosses are irritating cretins.

What can also happen, contrary to a few specific instances in this thread, is that we spend decades hoping and yearning for release, for freedom, for independence etc. - only to finally achieve it, and to come to regret it. Why? Because there's certain comfort in routine, in obligations, in the very same impositions that annoy and constrain us. An analogy would be a husband who resents his nagging wife. Then she takes a long vacation with her relatives, and a few days after she's gone, suddenly he feels lost and rootless.
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Old 11-26-2018, 10:27 AM
 
Location: Kalamalka Lake, B.C.
3,044 posts, read 4,015,477 times
Reputation: 3898
Get a hobby, get a girlfriend (or two), and perhaps relocate.

You need to find a good fit.

Take a package vacation tour. Women our age pretty much all outlive their spouse. There are loads of wonderful women and my dating demographic of 65 to 102 is working out great. !!! (I's soooo bad)
.
I'm in direct touch with guys from my moving company. We had each others back in all sorts of nasty situations.
But what's interesting is that in my regular employment I'm not near anyone, and there were many times I put my butt on the table and on the line for them. I doubt they understand. But my other community does. You have to find your community.
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Old 11-26-2018, 12:08 PM
 
Location: S.W. Florida
2,209 posts, read 932,574 times
Reputation: 6233
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Crazy View Post
I retired at age 62 after working non stop fighting the corporate rat race and trying to be successful at work.

While I was working full time, I did not have time for anything. I worked 60-70-80 hours a week. I had little time for family or friends. The only thing that was important to me was my work and moving forward through the organizational chart.

At age 62 I was laid off and decided that was enough. I was bitter and angry. All that effort for my company and they lay me off and escort me out with a security guard.

The first few weeks of my retirement I was extremely restless. I did not know what to do. In frustration, I went through the basement and found all kinds of picture books. Hundreds of photos of me and my family when I was young. Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, friends, and neighbors. Everyone seemed so happy.

I started getting obsessive about my youth. I decided that for the first time in thirty years I would travel to North Dakota and visit the places of my youth. The trip was emotional and brought back so many memories. The people in the town I grew up in seemed more pleasant than the big city. Maybe they had it right, family, friends, and neighbors were more important than the job and moving up in corporate America.

I determined that 40 years in corporate America had destroyed me and I needed to slow down and enjoy retirement. But after being on a bucking bronco for 40 years how can I relax and enjoy retirement?
Iím now two years into retirement and have dealt with the same emotions you are currently dealing with. I liken it to a train running full speed and someone suddenly throwing the brakes on. Itís impossible to stop it right away, it must slow down gradually until it finally stops.

I worked so hard for so long that my entire life was lived at warp speed. On vacations, when my poor wife could convince me to take one, was spent on my laptop while my family tried to have fun doing things without me. All because I couldnít chance letting something go that would come back to haunt me upon my return to work. In hindsight I was a fool, a complete fool to place my company before my wife and children.

I retired early like you did,and I must say that for most of the two years Iíve been retired I have hated it. I missed the challenges of corporate life immensely, and to go from being counted upon by so many people to make important decisions to someone who now has nothing but time on his hands has been incredibly hard to deal with.

Only recently have I finally come to terms with the fact that itís over, and I must move on in other productive ways for the remainder of my lifetime. Just yesterday in fact our family went to a a park where we enjoyed the natural beauty that surrounds us, and it was in my wifeís words ďone of the best days of my lifeĒ. Just seeing her smile and the laughter of her and our daughter was priceless, and I couldnít help but think what I have missed in order to climb the ladder. I wish you well.
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