First weeks of retirement I grew philosophical about my childhood (grandparents, moving)

[Just Crazy]

I retired at age 62 after working non stop fighting the corporate rat race and trying to be successful at work.

While I was working full time, I did not have time for anything. I worked 60-70-80 hours a week. I had little time for family or friends. The only thing that was important to me was my work and moving forward through the organizational chart.

At age 62 I was laid off and decided that was enough. I was bitter and angry. All that effort for my company and they lay me off and escort me out with a security guard.

The first few weeks of my retirement I was extremely restless. I did not know what to do. In frustration, I went through the basement and found all kinds of picture books. Hundreds of photos of me and my family when I was young. Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, friends, and neighbors. Everyone seemed so happy.

I started getting obsessive about my youth. I decided that for the first time in thirty years I would travel to North Dakota and visit the places of my youth. The trip was emotional and brought back so many memories. The people in the town I grew up in seemed more pleasant than the big city. Maybe they had it right, family, friends, and neighbors were more important than the job and moving up in corporate America.

I determined that 40 years in corporate America had destroyed me and I needed to slow down and enjoy retirement. But after being on a bucking bronco for 40 years how can I relax and enjoy retirement?

[organic_donna]

Just. Crazy,
The most important thing is don’t be bitter and angry about your employer turning on you. I worked for a major airline, and learned early on not to have any connection to my employer. I worked hard, but for my own gain, not to get accolades. Unless you work at a small family run business, employers don’t have any loyalty to you. It’s a hard pill to swallow for some people.
Moving forward, YOU ARE FREE! My last day of work was like leaving prison after 30 years. They took my badge, my manual, and I lost my security privileges. I could not have been happier. That’s why you are looking back on your childhood days. That was the last time you felt free. Explore your past, it’s bittersweet, and learn from it. When you are ready, you will move on to your next chapter in life. This is the most wonderful time in your life. You don’t have anyone to answer to anymore. Can you grasp that concept?
Dance around your house, playing loud music with a glass of wine. Read a good book on your porch or by the fireplace. Go to lunch with a friend in the middle of the work week. Taste your freedom. Don’t look back with any regrets. Your employer handed you a gift. Open it and enjoy.
Donna

[Vision67]

Retirement requires adapting to a new style of living.

For some people it's hard. Kinda like the dog who was chasing cars his whole life and then finally caught one....

You'll adapt.

Now you just need to decide how to spend your remaining clock cycles.

[Brian_M]

You're older than myself, though I've been "retired" longer (9 years ~ and it's more an extended period of unemployment for me). But it feels to me like you need to find a way to accept that what's already occurred can not be undone or changed. You're not going to get to undo 40 years of work. But you *Can* start over, right now.



I find I have 2 "modes", one is the most lazy bum you've ever seen. I simply am a lump on a couch for hours a day (computer/internet, no TV) and can do that for weeks and months on end without break. I don't like that guy, he's sad and pathetic... just a bit stinky too. And then I have work mode, where I'm active and doing Something during must every daylight hour... right now, I'm renovating yet another house. Through October of this year, my wife and I did a 7,000 mile road trip. I've restored motorcycles and cars, did a lot of vegetable gardening this past summer for the first time ever. I took up sewing (sick of the terrible fit of store-bought clothes), which is much more time-consuming than I ever imagined. I haven't done it in a number of years, but I used to make stained-glass pieces to sell which is another time-sink.



The point is, you'll soon discover ways to fill your time. You may not like some of the ways, and others might just be busy-work to pass the time. At 62, you're in a position that you should be reasonably healthy... if not, you have the time and means to Get reasonably healthy. Start there, both with the working out and food aspects. Then expand into whatever catches your fancy... golf? Kayaking? Photography? Travel? Ballroom dancing? There are a billion ways to fill time in a first world country.

[jmp61616]

At least you moved forward through the organizational chart. I never got much of anywhere. First job I was laid off. Second job, I supported a union movement and was on the **** list when it failed. Next job my boss was a coke head. Next job I was stuck in a cubicle. My current job is ok, I run my own department, but I am dead ended. I can't wait to retire. In the end, it is all BS anyway. How many jobs really make a difference? Not many. Forget about corporate life and go do things you enjoy. One thing I learned in my working life is that the stories of "how the company screwed me" are endless no matter where you work. As a co worker once told me, in the cesspool of working, the biggest chunks of **** float to the top. Be glad you are done with it. I will be.

[gentlearts]

Retirement is an ending. By the time we’ve reached our 60s, many endings have come to pass. Our kids are gone, our parents are gone, maybe our friends are spread far and wide. It’s an adjustment to realize that we have less ahead of us than behind us.

What you are going through, OP, is very normal. I think the abrupt ending of your job, before you were ready, was a slap in the face. It happened to me too, so I know how you felt.

Wallowing in nostalgia might not be the healthiest way to cope, but if you enjoy it, so what? Get it out of your system, then make a plan for the next 30-40 years.

[jrkliny]

It seems that you had a long, successful career or at least was a major workaholic


. I am also guessing that you did not have job issues until the end. In contrast I worked in a field with lots of downsizing, mergers, acquisitions, layoffs and bankruptcies. I lost lots of jobs and when that happened it was always traumatic.


On top of that you also decided on retirement. Another major traumatic event especially so because you did no planning for it.


You also expressed two additional ideas: "I determined that 40 years in corporate America had destroyed me and I needed to slow down and enjoy retirement." Really? You are the one who decided on a life as a workaholic. No one made you act that way. Take responsibility for your own part in this. Second, who said retirement was about slowing down, especially at a early retirement age of 62?


The issues seem clear. I cannot tell you what you should do. I can only tell you what I did. First I had the benefit of preplanning for retirement. My wife and I bought a truck camper, sold the house and then retired and traveled for a couple of years. We saw beautiful, special places in the US and Canada. We also did photography. That interest started a couple of years in advance. I spent my life in a highly technical job and wanted to expand my artistic side. After the blitz of traveling, we also joined a lifelong learning group. It is highly educational but also social. We continue with photography and the arts. I have taken up painting and I spend a of time developing skills in traditional archery. Currently, I have been traveling for the past 4 months. I have again been visiting national parks and shooting pictures. When I return home, I have tons of images to cull through and process. I have pictures I want to paint and I will do that from my photos and from my memories.


My advice is to look for social groups to fulfill that part of your life. Even more importantly think about what you want to learn and accomplish with the rest of your life. If you come up with nothing, then I guess you are done. Unfortunately that happens to a lot of retirees. Since you were so focused in your career, it is likely that you will find new interests and passions if you work at looking.

[jrkliny]

Originally Posted by gentlearts

Retirement is an ending. By the time we’ve reached our 60s, many endings have come to pass. Our kids are gone, our parents are gone, maybe our friends are spread far and wide. It’s an adjustment to realize that we have less ahead of us than behind us.

........

Absolutely not!! Yes, the parenting age is past or should be, but life is full of possibilities. Those possibilities include additional new friends, new activities, new goals and new accomplishments. Before retirement, I spent a lot of time doing what I had to do for the family and my career. I had little time left for anything else. Now in retirement, I have full time for my interests and goals. Retirement was a beginning, not an ending.

[jrkliny]

Originally Posted by jmp61616

At least you moved forward through the organizational chart. I never got much of anywhere. First job I was laid off. Second job, I supported a union movement and was on the **** list when it failed. Next job my boss was a coke head. Next job I was stuck in a cubicle. My current job is ok, I run my own department, but I am dead ended. I can't wait to retire. In the end, it is all BS anyway. How many jobs really make a difference? Not many. Forget about corporate life and go do things you enjoy. One thing I learned in my working life is that the stories of "how the company screwed me" are endless no matter where you work. As a co worker once told me, in the cesspool of working, the biggest chunks of **** float to the top. Be glad you are done with it. I will be.

Some people drift through life and then complain about the outcome. It sounds like that is what you did. Personally I looked for a career that would make a difference. I chose healthcare. I also chose an area in healthcare where I was working on the edge of knowledge. I also chose jobs where I had the satisfaction of teaching at least part time. After brief encounters with union and government jobs, I never went that way again. I always looked for jobs where I could advance beyond the average. Finally I realized that interviewing for a job was a two way street. I only took jobs where I like the bosses and the organizational goals.


Whether it is a career or life in retirement, the outcomes can be more rewarding for those who take responsibility and make decisions about how they want to live.

[gentlearts]

Originally Posted by jrkliny

Absolutely not!! Yes, the parenting age is past or should be, but life is full of possibilities. Those possibilities include additional new friends, new activities, new goals and new accomplishments. Before retirement, I spent a lot of time doing what I had to do for the family and my career. I had little time left for anything else. Now in retirement, I have full time for my interests and goals. Retirement was a beginning, not an ending.

You misunderstood me. I couldn’t agree more that we can have plenty of great possibilities after retirement. But, you cannot deny that retiring from a job you spent 40 years going to every day is one of life’s endings.