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Old 11-24-2018, 11:21 AM
13,314 posts, read 25,546,272 times
Reputation: 20486


Well, Thanksgiving was a bust. I had a severe head cold and couldn't get out of bed, never mind go to the potluck I'd been invited to. I licked all the icing off the cupcakes I had made for the potluck and got a nice bag of leftovers, which I'll freeze. My exhaustion that I talked about before has been waxing and waning and I am wary of it whenever I plan anything.

So there I was in bed, gulping tea, and realizing that "everyone" (that ubiquitous everyone that you never know specifics...) was probably on opening day of the ski season. I don't ski, and I don't farm or mountain bike and I was trashing myself for not "doing anything" and wondering who would ever want to be friends with such a lump blah blah blah.

I also realized that my only real Thanksgiving memories are of the two friend groups I had back East, around 1980-2000. Not family or distant past except for the lack of anything to remember.

Today's revelation is that it all takes time, at least, it is for me. Volunteer-wise, I have been making a few trips with the therapy mini-horses to assisted living. The woman who runs the minis is also the veterans' agent at the local Elks. I almost tried to join and then realized that, not only would I be lying about believing in the higher power on the application, my real interest in Elks was veterans, not overall Elks stuff, so I did serve at the dinner/bingo for vets at the Elks Hall for Veterans Day.

I am waiting for the semi-local NPR station to open a broadcast facility nearby (25 miles) and it would be a big effort out of my comfort zone to become involved in the broadcasting, which is staffed all by vetted volunteers. I have not had the chance to be involved in therapeutic horseback riding (as horse handler) as the woman who runs that string of horses has been totaled by caregiving responsibilities. I hope to meet with her soon to see if she might be getting involved next season (spring/summer) and am also very much hoping to talk to her about my leasing a horse for my own riding (44 miles away), incredible views and riding near the canyon. I was very inspired in my week-long riding vacation in September at how meditative I can find attentive riding- no need to do anything fast or dramatic, but stay in the present and work with the horse.

I was doing some for-pay home transcription, and it wasn't worth it- lousy audio files, very low pay because of the time taken to decipher the files. I am doing some volunteer edit/proofing of voice recognition captions for PBS programs for their archives. It would be perfect if that were for pay, but it is very interesting anyway and is a real service.

I am going to be on a very fixed income next year. Have to talk to the new tax woman about the fact that I have to have taxes taken out of my pension. Soc. Sec. just went up 2.9 percent, and so Medicare supplement went up too. I am still working on living on a fixed income. All my life, I could spend as I wished and just work more and it's a tough adjustment.

I currently have five senior dogs- 3 approaching 15, two who are 7. Their normal expenses can be costly. i just cannot see a compromised little senior (Moofie, 14) doing badly at a shelter and likely not to be adopted after being a stray/dump. I really enjoy being home with them and seeing them living good lives as they age.

So I feel better even writing this. Every year I've worked the holidays, gotten strokes for doing so, and time-and-a-half. And every year, when working, I thought I was doing great with the holidays and found out I was only doing better (which should be good enough) and run myself down for not having family or connections, etc. etc. I do think Thanksgiving is the toughest for me. Christmas is just annoying. At least has been. We shall see as "the season" progresses.
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Old 11-24-2018, 11:24 AM
Location: Central New Jersey
2,384 posts, read 908,448 times
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Old 11-24-2018, 11:42 AM
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
83 posts, read 64,500 times
Reputation: 137
BDL, I'm glad to hear you are feeling better overall, even though it's an off-and-on thing. I'm sure that will get better as your volunteer and other activities settle in. Sounds like there's a bit of restlessness going on. After your career, you may feel like you should always be doing something. And you don't have to now (unless you want to). I'm still working, but even on weekends feel like I should be doing something productive rather than just relaxing.

BTW, licking all the icing off of the cupcakes.... cracked me up!

We haven't done family holidays for many years. Too much drama. We enjoy Thanksgiving by ourselves, and we don't do Christmas at all. It gets really annoying when commercials and store decorating start at Halloween. The in-your-face ads and carols and all that just aggravate me. We're more of the mindset that if you want to give someone a gift, why not do it when you want to, rather than one designated day of the year. Don't even get me started on using Valentines day to tell/show someone you love them!

I hope your health continues to improve, and your work and volunteer options turn out to be exactly what you want them to be.

Keep calm and relax on!
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Old 11-24-2018, 01:12 PM
Location: Central Ohio
612 posts, read 249,301 times
Reputation: 1133
All I can say is WOW! You sure have a lot of energy!! And five dogs!! I am giving you a virtual hug and high five! You sound to me like what used to be called a type A personality.....high expectations of yourself....find it hard to relax and not be "doing". Do you meditate? I know it sounds hippy-dippy, but might help. Not here to offer lots of advice....you will find your balance....you're still new at this retirement thing! And hope you are feeling better and over your cold soon!

As for holidays, I find I really prefer not being with family....it was great when my parents were alive and we were growing up, then when my daughter was growing up, and even when my granddaughter was growing up...but it's all adults now, and I find I'd rather hang out at home by myself or my adult GD, relaxing, watching the Macy's parade, dog show and football. My family would find all that way too low-brow for them. Would prefer sitting around all day, drinking champagne and having stimulating, intellectual conversation. Always felt more like a competition than a relaxing, family celebration. Don't miss it alt all!
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Old 11-24-2018, 01:37 PM
Location: Prescott AZ
6,119 posts, read 9,071,114 times
Reputation: 11540
BDL: Best wishes for a speedy recovery. No, not "everyone" has those picture perfect holidays like Norman Rockwell did. In fact, as I get older, I learn most people just prefer a quiet, peaceful time, doing whatever it is they love to do. Those TV commercials are a crock. So made up. So false.

And yes, retirement takes time. It doesn't happen overnight that you find your way and are supremely happy. But exploring your options and seeking new adventures is what you are doing and that's good. Eventually you will come to the point where you say to yourself "I am there !" It took me a while. I have joined several clubs and now think I will have to scale back because I don't want to do all of it. My older dog needs me. My son and his problems need my time too. And most of all, my garden needs tending.

So don't feel bad. Thanksgiving is highly overrated. And Christmas too. Be well !
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Old 11-24-2018, 05:01 PM
6,220 posts, read 4,718,283 times
Reputation: 12730
I just spent Thanksgiving alone sitting in my RV in a Walmart parking lot in New Mexico. I had some leftover sausage and pasta as my feast. Holidays can be stressful especially when you are alone.

I hope you are making progress on a diagnosis and improving your health. I also hope you are able to work or volunteer at the NPR station. My daughter did that one summer while she was in college and had a great time. She helped back up the engineer but mostly helped with reception and scheduling.
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Old 11-24-2018, 05:34 PM
5,410 posts, read 2,816,274 times
Reputation: 10101
Hey, you are not only allowed to be a lump when you are sick, you are supposed to be one!

I don’t ski or farm, though I still mtb some, nothing like my earlier years. But really, not everybody does those things even in CO. You’re thinking too much when you cannot “do” due to sickness. The good thing is that if you CAN think at all, at least the ailment is not totally draining like influenza.

OK, maybe that is small consolation...get well soon.
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Old 11-24-2018, 06:25 PM
Location: too far from the sea
19,828 posts, read 18,832,665 times
Reputation: 33723
well, you have landed and it will take some trial and error. I can totally 100% completely relate to the getting sick and missing out because I had some sinus thing for the entire month of October. What did I miss? Since I have moved here, the first chance to be with my cousins and extended family for a beautiful wedding. But there was nothing I could do.

We just have to keep on trying and know that there will be other opportunities. One thing you have going for you is the energy and interest to do things. Keep going. It takes time to feel settled and at home, time to make inroads and find your place. It will happen for you.
my posts as moderator will be in red. Moderator: Health&Wellness~Genealogy. The Rules--read here>>> TOS. If someone attacks you, do not reply. Hit REPORT.
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Old 11-24-2018, 06:54 PM
Status: "I am Blessed." (set 3 days ago)
Location: Spurs country. "Go, Spurs, Go!"
3,399 posts, read 3,962,033 times
Reputation: 8771
Originally Posted by joee5 View Post
You obviously don't know BDL. She is a long time regular poster who retired the beginning of this year, so she is experiencing her "firsts" in retirement. Also, she moved to where she is now, and often posts updates on her life in retirement and in Colorado. Her posts are always interesting, many look forward to them.

You can click on her name and then click on "see all posts by BDL" and get caught up. Go back to January 2018 I believe, when she actually retired. A year ago she was keeping us updated on her countdown to retirement. All very interesting! Enjoy!
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Old 11-24-2018, 08:26 PM
Location: Central Illinois -
21,525 posts, read 14,346,985 times
Reputation: 14671
Thanks for the update, hope you are feeling better.

Maybe you should consider CBD oil, it does not contain THC in it but has the cannabinoids that can help you sleep better and feel more relaxed. You can buy a small bottle, and the recommenced dosage is anywhere from 5 to 15 drops daily, under your tongue. You may need to experiment with the right dosage. Marijuana is illegal where I live but I can still purchase CBD oil.
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