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Old 12-02-2018, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Southern California
24,184 posts, read 8,456,688 times
Reputation: 15751

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mircea View Post
It's just what happens. Everything dies. Our Sun will die, as will our Solar System and Universe, eventually.

You can be sad if you want, and you might be, since you'll miss the pleasure of their company, but in some cases, you should be thrilled, because those people were suffering immensely and now they've been released from their pain.
True in many ways, everyone I've lost in my life we're suffering and quite old except my little 5 yr old nephew who was killed on his christmas bike, on that day over 30 yrs ago. THere definitely are exceptions, I think of him often and see his precious face in my mind.
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Old 12-03-2018, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,304,589 times
Reputation: 1988
Quote:
Originally Posted by jertheber View Post
We all looked forward to a fun life in retirement, but, some didn't fully comprehend that this time in our lives are also tied to the aging and dying years as well. I had just retired (07) and my wife and I bought a new house a hundred miles south of our old home, she was having difficulty breathing but I had thought is was her heart problems, turned out to be end stage lung cancer and she was gone before we had opened the moving boxes.

In the next three years after her death my older brother died, then my mother, then my niece's husband and an old friend from school days. Since 07 I've lost more family, friends, neighbors, and past co workers. At seventy three I'm now looking at my own mortality as a position in a queue, we're all in that line, the inevitable aspect of living. Like most, I had terrible moments in my grief, lost, confused, angry, and lonely. After a few years I found that time does heal to some extent, if nothing else you tend to find the world around you changing, and you simply go along with it.

How do you get used to it? I don't know that we can lay out the plan that allows that to happen. Getting up, turning on the coffee, listening to some music or news, going about your day, much like the punch drunk boxer in the twelfth round, we just do what we have to. You just begin to realize the true nature of contentment has a lot to do with not hanging back in the past, it's an old cliche but it certainly becomes the ultimate truth of the how's and why's of that thing we call survival..
I love your attitude on life. Very healthy and positive. Good for you
My heart goes out to you for the many losses of those you loved.
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Old 12-04-2018, 12:52 AM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,620,903 times
Reputation: 16777
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyDogToday View Post
Most of what I might have said has already been said and more. All of us have losses, some way more than others. I personally have sustained more than my share in the last few years.

With loss of significant people and pets , I take comfort in the memories and know with certainty that we will be together again when I cross over.

I have lost homes and jobs but they are replaceable. I have created my new home and found other jobs and ways to use my creativity and to engrage in life.

Stay stuck in the past and it leads to depression. Obcess on the future and you will become a prisoner of anxiety.

Key is to live in the moment, the hour, the day. Celebrate each breath and be grateful for what you have now. Cherish the good times and set out to make some more.

Live like dogs do, in the present moment. This is how I get through and try to sustain my life. Enjoy what you have, who you are, the gifts you are given daily.

A lot of it has to do with attitude, really. How you view your life.

"Get busy living or get busy dying." (Stephen King)

Everyone should read this. There will be losses in your life, days you come home and can't stop remembering how Mom was waiting for you, and curious about your day. And you kept trying not look like you notice how bad she looked, how ill, and how finally was talked into a doctor's visit next week. And then... then you are worried, she doesn't look good. And she stands, and drops her purse and just, crumples. No reactions, you check as Dad called the hospital. And then when they come, you have to be there for Dad. In your heart you know she's already gone, somehow, but she kept him going and he needs you more than ever. Later, you find out it was an inoperable blockage in main blood vessel to the heart, and nothing could be done, but you'd go home every day afraid she was going to leave that evening.


I remember being stunned, and in such turmoil that when she died, I took my solace in taking care of him. He was broken hearted to, and needed his family. Our dog was glued to him, staying close too. And after almost 40 years of marriage.... nothing you say can be enough.


I've lost my parents, my aunt (my uncle still lives with his kids, or did as their town up in norcal was burned by that terrible fire. Dad's passing WAS a blessing as he'd left already, just that his body kept going on. He didn't know me anymore. I'd pretend he was pretending if he'd talk to me, and then go home and cry about it.


But along with some other personal disastors in life, or losses of friends or jobs or worse, I learned something. Mourning won't put it back like it was. It or he or she has passed on away from us. We remember them and see the things we missed, and the ones we shouldn't have, and none of it matters now that they are gone on to be spirit. And remember the love and the good days and the happy part, and how if you could do it again. But you can't. Make your peace with yesterday. Find a new road for you. It won't make the love you hold for them in you memories easy either, but one day you'll wake up, and know its time for You to live again. That is what they'd want you to do.


With pets, we give much love and snuggles and fun and care, and they get older. My cats managed to all be ten or older. Then they died one at a time, an infection common with old cats often fatal for a cat ten plus is old age. I'd been warned by a vet but one little girl named Sweety, solid black fluffy fur and green eyes, stayed for some months longer as I was treating her with homeopathic medicine. But it quit working and I held her as she left for that field to run and play again in the next life.


But Sweety had months more life than she might have as I tried this med and it worked. When it quit I let her go. And she came to me and laid down and I held her until...



She left with love. Sometimes that is all we can give but it sets them free.
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Old 12-04-2018, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,304,589 times
Reputation: 1988
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightbird47 View Post
Everyone should read this. There will be losses in your life, days you come home and can't stop remembering how Mom was waiting for you, and curious about your day. And you kept trying not look like you notice how bad she looked, how ill, and how finally was talked into a doctor's visit next week. And then... then you are worried, she doesn't look good. And she stands, and drops her purse and just, crumples. No reactions, you check as Dad called the hospital. And then when they come, you have to be there for Dad. In your heart you know she's already gone, somehow, but she kept him going and he needs you more than ever. Later, you find out it was an inoperable blockage in main blood vessel to the heart, and nothing could be done, but you'd go home every day afraid she was going to leave that evening.


I remember being stunned, and in such turmoil that when she died, I took my solace in taking care of him. He was broken hearted to, and needed his family. Our dog was glued to him, staying close too. And after almost 40 years of marriage.... nothing you say can be enough.


I've lost my parents, my aunt (my uncle still lives with his kids, or did as their town up in norcal was burned by that terrible fire. Dad's passing WAS a blessing as he'd left already, just that his body kept going on. He didn't know me anymore. I'd pretend he was pretending if he'd talk to me, and then go home and cry about it.


But along with some other personal disastors in life, or losses of friends or jobs or worse, I learned something. Mourning won't put it back like it was. It or he or she has passed on away from us. We remember them and see the things we missed, and the ones we shouldn't have, and none of it matters now that they are gone on to be spirit. And remember the love and the good days and the happy part, and how if you could do it again. But you can't. Make your peace with yesterday. Find a new road for you. It won't make the love you hold for them in you memories easy either, but one day you'll wake up, and know its time for You to live again. That is what they'd want you to do.


With pets, we give much love and snuggles and fun and care, and they get older. My cats managed to all be ten or older. Then they died one at a time, an infection common with old cats often fatal for a cat ten plus is old age. I'd been warned by a vet but one little girl named Sweety, solid black fluffy fur and green eyes, stayed for some months longer as I was treating her with homeopathic medicine. But it quit working and I held her as she left for that field to run and play again in the next life.


But Sweety had months more life than she might have as I tried this med and it worked. When it quit I let her go. And she came to me and laid down and I held her until...



She left with love. Sometimes that is all we can give but it sets them free.
This whole post was beautiful and especially the last line. Thank you nightbird
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