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Old 11-29-2018, 10:35 AM
12,686 posts, read 14,068,003 times
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Originally Posted by mschrief View Post
Have you ever gotten to the point where you really don't care if you live or die?....
The mother of one friend and the step-father of another made decisions to die asap after being diagnosed with late state cancer. Each got a description of what treatments were available and how much time they would add to their lives beyond that expectancy if not treated, and each asked what the quality of the extra added time would be like.

Both felt the quality of the projected added life span was unappealing and not worth it. Both lived, as I understand it, in fairly good shape at home enjoying their usual activities and visitors and then did a very quick nose-dive at the end where they received hospice care and painkilling drugs for a short time.
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Old 11-29-2018, 10:53 AM
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,612 posts, read 9,676,241 times
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Originally Posted by LookingatFL View Post
Well, I guess the questions I have are:

1. Can whatever was diagnosed be fixed?

2. Is it fear of the "fix" that causes the preference for resignation?

3. Do you absolutely know that whatever is wrong will kill you as opposed to leaving you alive and suffering?

For instance, if we are talking about heart disease and it can be cured through surgery.... well, the surgery is very frightening to think about. However, the reality is that our minds blow it way out of proportion and it isn't difficult at all... especially with the minimally invasive techniques. But, even if you go through a full sternotomy, it is only about 6 weeks of side effects. There is pain for about 3 days which is completely taken care of by medication, and then on the fourth day there is no longer any pain. There is physical weakness, but the hospital has you out of bed on the first day after surgery walking around the unit and sitting in chairs, and everyone is going to tell you how wonderful you look and you will be amazed at how good you feel.

If we are talking about something like pancreatic cancer, and the oncologist is telling you that it is pretty advanced, and may even have spread, and through harsh treatments your life can be extended but not preserved, and you will be sick the entire time.... then I might think long and hard about preserving my life.

If we are talking about something like diabetes which requires dietary changes, and you simply don't want to do it... then I might wonder what else is going on.

There are lots of forums that deal with specific situations and you might find people with whom you feel you can be more open to discuss your thoughts.

Last year my favorite online blogger was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Over time and a few surgeries they pronounced her cancer free and told her "Go live your life". Last month they found she has cancer again...a different type...and there is NO 'fix' for this one. They are doing chemo, etc. and tell her it'll let her be okay for 7 or 8 months when the 'symptoms' will start to show. Right now she's doing pretty good except for the aftermath of the chemo treatments. Anyway, she is continuing to blog and isn't trying to be 'brave' about anything but is telling how this diagnosis has actually changed her life and way of thinking. She talks about how it affects her mentally and physically and I think she has already accepted the fact that she's going to die but she is strong and has a great will to live. I will be following her blog to 'the end' and she's kind of caused me to change some of my own thinking. She lives in a state where they have the option to choose their own time 'to go' as well.

As for me...I have sometimes thought about the 'peace' that dying could bring. Wouldn't have to worry about paying the bills and all that stuff. But I'd rather do that than die I suppose. I'm not ready to go, which means nothing really. We 'go' when we are supposed to maybe. But hopefully I have a few good years left.
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Old 11-29-2018, 11:07 AM
Location: Verde Valley AZ
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Originally Posted by arwenmark View Post
Yes, that is why under my screen name you will see "Waiting for God". I have several health issues, also financial issues and honestly nothing good to look forward to. I can foresee several NOT GOOD things in the future that I would rather not be around to see.

The other day I was talking to a friend and this subject came up. I told her that there were times I didn't care if I lived or died. She was shocked and said something about why? I had so much to look forward to! No I don't. I asked her to give me an example and she really couldn't. I am pretty sure that when I'm gone nobody is going to miss me. I figure if they can't be bothered to stay in touch in life they sure aren't going to think about me when I'm gone. For the first few days maybe. And that includes my kids and immediate family. That's one reason there will be no funeral, no obituary, no viewing for me when I do go. I want them to care NOW not when I'm dead and that doesn't seem to be happening so I'll just continue on and live my own life but don't see all that much to look forward to. Heck, I can't even look forward to retiring! lol
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Old 11-29-2018, 11:43 AM
Location: Central NY
4,655 posts, read 3,239,300 times
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I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm pretty sure I am one of the people who really don't care if I live or die, either.

I am a believer, too, and from what I see of what's happening in the world, there is not a lot to look forward to.

I don't have a relationship with any family. Everyone seems to have their own problems to deal with. Why would I expect them to think about mine? I've always been somewhat in charge of living my life.

I think a lot about leaving too much to "take care of" when I die. I wonder how I can make it easier for the person to get it cleaned up/taken care of once I'm gone.
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Old 11-29-2018, 11:58 AM
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Definitely, yes. I ask myself "what's the point?" all the time.
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Old 11-29-2018, 12:47 PM
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I dont care.

Ive already died. Once.

Anaphylactic shock allergic reaction to sulfa caused my heart to stop.when it stops, everything stops, trust me.

I actually am registered as clinically dead for 7 mins 40 secs. Had i not been at work, had the EMTs not been just 6 mins away, had the 4th shock to my heart not worked, i would not be here today....

I just want my next death to be as painless.

** no, do not ask me what i experienced, i dont tell as i dont want to confirm, enhance or deny people their beliefs, thoughts or own experiences. Only 3 people know, one being my OH, one being my father.

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Old 11-29-2018, 12:49 PM
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
8,391 posts, read 9,136,940 times
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I’m in no hurry to die. Life is fine. But I have no desire to be 95 and outlive my loved ones and friends. One of my good friends mother is 93 and all of her friends are dead. May the Lord take me home at the right time.
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Old 11-29-2018, 02:25 PM
Location: Central Ohio
612 posts, read 249,849 times
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With everyone/everything that depends on me, I sometimes think I will need to live forever! I pray to hold on, in decent physical/mental health, as long as I can! I once had a dream (I think it was a dream!) that I had died and I was like a photon spinning across the universe. It was the greatest feeling! No body to worry about, no pain, no worries....hoping death is something like that! Who knows! Would love to hear about "near death" experiences of others, but maybe that belongs on another forum!
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Old 11-29-2018, 02:28 PM
7,899 posts, read 5,031,079 times
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Originally Posted by mschrief View Post
...Living is hard, dying isn't all that hard from what I've seen.
Both are lamentably hard! The ideal option would have been to have never been born, but for most of us, it's tautologically too late. So, we're bound to make the best of what's tractable.

Being indifferent to life is NOT tantamount to being suicidal. It simply means that one perseveres in living, from sense of duty that follows having been born. But we need not do so with zest or relish. It's just something to be done, until finally our time comes, whether at triple-digit seniority, or in infancy.
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Old 11-29-2018, 02:40 PM
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I honestly don't care one way or the other because the worst, to me, would be to live past 90, or to be completely disabled or to be in unremitting pain. (Three out of four of my grandparents lived to 92 and they were mostly fine until 90, but after that -- it was just horrible.)

HOWEVER, that being said, I am "only" 65, and I am looking forward to building our dream home VERY much -- we just purchased a lot in a beautiful location -- but as the lot is in a rural area, and we don't have any close relatives, once my husband is gone (if he dies before me), it will be "just me" and then what?

Yes, I do enjoy many introverted activities, but I have never been one to really enjoy socializing, so I think after just a couple of years of being a widow, if it comes to that, I will just be staring at walls and/or sleeping 90% of the time due to depression and/or boredom. (But please don't take that as self-pity, though, because I have had a LOT more "ups" in my life than billions of other people have had.)

But what scares me the most is being severely disabled. I would definitely prefer death to that!
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