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Old 12-01-2018, 09:21 AM
 
Location: CO/UT/AZ/NM Catch me if you can!
4,743 posts, read 4,370,359 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vicky3vicky View Post
NO! NO! NO!

I am Autistic, and because of this I am a Disabilities and Autism activist. Most Autistic people have HORRENDOUS Executive function. I do, and so do, not only my fellow Autistics, but my "cousins", which I assume your BIL is.This would make it difficult if not impossible for him to figure this out on his own. I have helped many disabled people figure the ssi and ssdi out.

Your BIL is probably NOT lying, at least based on what you have written.

One, there is indeed only one across-the-board federal SSI ammount. Many states choose to supplement it, by varying ammounts, most common is $20 I think. [ I mostly help people in Colorado so I am not sure which states supplement in what ammounts] So, please, ignorance of the facts does not make a person an expert at who is a liar!

Secondly, yes, a person CAN often receive both SSI and SSDI. One person living here receives both. This is how. They are someone who DID work for a certain length of time, but even with the required quarters, their SSDI would only come to four hundred and something a month. When that happens, SSI fills in the gap to ensure that the recipient is not penalized by haviing worked. They only give enough SSI so that the SSDI and the SSI would equal the ammount the person would receive on SSI alone.

Thirdly, this is how his check was probably cut. [my executive function is now being highly effected, so I hope I can post this in a way you can understand]If for ANY reason SSI believes that someone has paid for or enabled a person on SSI to pay "less than their fair share" for rent [does not include subsidized housing for some reason] they will cut down the benefit. A simple question like "IS anyone being nice and giving you a break on the rent?" will cause that reduction.

The other less likely possibility is that he missed a reassment meeting and lost his SSI and has only his SSDI left. From what you have posted I would think the first possibility rather the the second.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not believe what the person above posted. People with mental diseases have an incredibly high suicide rate. Calling him a liar when it sounds so much like the truth and there is NO reason to misbelieve him could just trigger that in him. I am not sure what the rate of suicide is for some of my "cousins" but among my "high functioning, with at least one cognitive issue [ I have NEVER met an Autistic person without cognitive issues] is 30 years less than the average persons, and most of that is from suicide. And heart disease from all the stress.

PLEASE help your BIL. There is a lot going on in our "community' but hopefully that will be over soon and possibly he could live here. Whatever, please help him. I am BEGGING you.
THIS

I am sure that the poster you were replying to was only trying to help, but she doesn't seem to understand how SSI/SSDI actually works. I am also disabled and I volunteer as an advocate for the Colorado Cross Disability Coalition - Small world, eh?

I couldn't agree more about the extreme difficulties that a person with cognitive impairment/lack of executive function must struggle with. In my case, I suffer from impaired cognition thanks to a brain injury that occured 15 years ago. People are sometimes surprised that my posts seem so coherent in the face of my difficulties. But they don't get to see me struggling at my keyboard, running spell check half a dozen times, and all the time I spend on Google making sure I get my facts straight, etc., etc.

The lack of empathy displayed by some people is both astonishing and depressing. We are talking about a gentleman with mental difficulties who is attempting survival on $750.00/month or so. Stop and consider. How much do groceries cost per month for a single person? According to the USDA a single person on a "thrifty" plan will spend $170.00/month for groceries.

Then there's rent. I'm no expert on rentals in Brooklyn, but according to Padmapper, a room there has a low end rent of around of $900.00/mo. Plus damage deposit, a good credit history and a well paying job among other requirements. Good luck with that if you are trying to cope with a disability.

We haven't even discussed the cost of transportation, an Internet connection, clothing from the thrift shop and heating/energy costs if not included in the rent. But our hypothetical disabled person is a hardy soul who walks to his appointments with his social worker, just as he walks to the public library to use the Internet. And a nice lady from the church drops off used clothing for free from time to time. But just food plus rent = $1,070 which means that our disabled individual comes out minus $350.00 in the red every month. I challenge anyone reading this to come out just even on such a budget. Stating that a disabled person is a liar under these conditions is just one more way of dehumanizing those with disabilities - bunch of liars and parasites, the entire lot of them.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Cindi Waters View Post
Thank you very much for your consideration. I was sick when I was a young woman, and that was about 50 years ago. I got better but it took a loooonnnngggg time. I was diagnosed as borderline schizophrenic. My husband married me over 40 years ago, and while we certainly have had our troubles, he helped me get well. (Well, ok, better -- not "well," but better than I was.) We both put up with each other. So what I am trying to say is I understand and appreciate your statement about those being terrified of people in authority, possibly with good reason.

In those days when I was really sick, and because I was on drugs, they put some people in confined state hospitals. My parents, middle class though they were, and me with scholarships, etc., decided to "send me away" for a while to get away from my drug-oriented friends. I saw things done by doctors that were similar to One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Tragic. Very, very tragic. It naturally frightened me to see a screaming, crying woman dragged away for "treatment." I am glad they didn't give me shock by force. I also saw someone with a lobotomy, gratis the state. Horrible and horrifying. So I am really glad you spoke of rightful fear of doctors. Now that I am better, I can let a doctor know in a respectful manner what I want and what I don't want. Thank God.

So I am going to say you must be a very kind and understanding person to say what you did.
One of the reasons I would not want to become his payee is because he is living in another state and frankly, I do not want him near us. Not because he is dangerous, but because he is so impulsive and believes he is right about how he does things. He is not my child. He is over 60. And more than that, he borrows from friends right and left, so being his payee would not mean much. And he finally admitted, after a big verbal confrontation on our part, that he has been lying to us. Meantime we are trying to help him.

Thanks again for your consideration.
I spoke to a counselor at CUCN (Columbia University foundation re the homeless, etc.). She gave me some information about emergency housing. So far he is not in a dangerous setting. With God's help, we'll keep working on this. Thanks. Just to let you know, I say this with tears in my eyes for your understanding.
Your post made ME tear up. Maybe CD needs to start handing out virtual kleenex! I have walked in the shoes of the homeless when my disability no longer allowed me to work. My brain injury was due to prolonged chronic exposure to carbon monoxide poisoning. The doctors gave me one false diagnosis after another as my condition only became worse. By the end I was hallucinating. I would sit on my couch and watch bright red roses blossom on every flat surface in my home. Then I started to hallucinate my medical records slowing scrolling up the walls. I was both mesmerized and horrified even though I knew none of this was real. And there was more - much more.

I think these experiences gave me my deep feelings of empathy for schizophrenics. At least I knew I was hallucinating - many schizophrenics don't.

For those of you who are inclined to throw stones, consider the fact that "There but for the grace of God, go I". You could be Cindi Waters. You could be her BIL. You could be a woman with two college degrees and a great profession who got the ground under her feet turned upside down.

The Holiday Season is fast approaching. May God bless us, everyone!
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Old 12-01-2018, 11:04 AM
 
841 posts, read 298,139 times
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Thank you all, your posts have given me insight, even into my illness. Thank you again, and may God take care of you and direct you in the right way. :-)
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Old 12-01-2018, 12:38 PM
 
Location: Central Ohio
612 posts, read 251,071 times
Reputation: 1158
I am rep payee for my disabled granddaughter, and YES, SSI WILL be reduced if the person does not contribute a portion of it to rent/housing expenses. I am seriously expected to collect and write out a receipt monthly for rent collected from my granddaughter, who I have raised from the age of 2! She is now 23 and I expect will live with me her entire life. I hope OP tries to understand the situation with his BIL. He has some sort of disability and understandably is having a hard time trying to navigate on his own, especially now on a reduced income. I can't imagine someone like my granddaughter making it in the world without help. Some call it an "external brain". I would say your BIL needs someone willing to advocate for him, sort things out with Social Security, get him into subsidized housing which he can afford on his low income, perhaps be his rep payee, etc. etc. He is not "lying", he has a disability. Just my two cents.
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Old 12-01-2018, 10:35 PM
 
841 posts, read 298,139 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unicorn hunter View Post
I am rep payee for my disabled granddaughter, and YES, SSI WILL be reduced if the person does not contribute a portion of it to rent/housing expenses. I am seriously expected to collect and write out a receipt monthly for rent collected from my granddaughter, who I have raised from the age of 2! She is now 23 and I expect will live with me her entire life. I hope OP tries to understand the situation with his BIL. He has some sort of disability and understandably is having a hard time trying to navigate on his own, especially now on a reduced income. I can't imagine someone like my granddaughter making it in the world without help. Some call it an "external brain". I would say your BIL needs someone willing to advocate for him, sort things out with Social Security, get him into subsidized housing which he can afford on his low income, perhaps be his rep payee, etc. etc. He is not "lying", he has a disability. Just my two cents.
I understand. As I'm reading, I see there are setups by organizations that will take people in who are not capable of taking care of themselves. As I continue to cope with him, we are trying to help him. He has a mind of his own, and apparently some of his friends in NY know the system. Yes, he was lying, which is why I couldn't understand what he was saying as to why he had no money even before they reduced the SSI. At that, even though he lied about paying his friend rent, he was only supposed to be paying $250 a month. His friend told me he hasn't paid for months, so I knew then my BIL had lied to us. My BIL was talking about subsidized housing. But not until he's 62. And then he wants to go back to Florida. Now that he's stopped blatantly lying to us (only since a few days ago, though), things are a little clearer between us. So we'll keep trying to keep in touch with him. I can't stop him from spending erratically.
His friend said that he does not have the heart to throw him out, even though he owes him months of rent. So I'm really not sure what he told SS. I think the reason at this point that his speech is incomprehensible (not the words, just what he says) is because he was lying and gets hysterical when I ask too many questions. But that seems to be stopping, we'll see, now that he knows we know. But that is not a guarantee.
His friend also has a couple living with him in another bedroom who is also not paying him rent. When I asked why, he said that the man has cancer and when they get some kind of payment, or settlement, they promised to pay him. I asked him if the wife is working, he said yes. When I asked why they aren't paying him rent, the answer was because he has other bills and promised to give him something later on. Could I do it? No. But apparently he is doing it. And because he is doing it, and because my BIL would never agree to have us be the payee, and because he would probably keep borrowing from his friends, we would not be the POA. But we will try to help him navigate the system as well as we can from afar.
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Old 12-01-2018, 11:07 PM
 
841 posts, read 298,139 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unicorn hunter View Post
I am rep payee for my disabled granddaughter, and YES, SSI WILL be reduced if the person does not contribute a portion of it to rent/housing expenses. I am seriously expected to collect and write out a receipt monthly for rent collected from my granddaughter, who I have raised from the age of 2! She is now 23 and I expect will live with me her entire life. I hope OP tries to understand the situation with his BIL. He has some sort of disability and understandably is having a hard time trying to navigate on his own, especially now on a reduced income. I can't imagine someone like my granddaughter making it in the world without help. Some call it an "external brain". I would say your BIL needs someone willing to advocate for him, sort things out with Social Security, get him into subsidized housing which he can afford on his low income, perhaps be his rep payee, etc. etc. He is not "lying", he has a disability. Just my two cents.
Again, if it were just an external brain, that might work, even from afar. He spoke about the cost of public transit. I found out about reduced fare. I intend to call and get form for disabled half fare application, but still have questions. In the meantime, I told him to go to subway station and ask if they will accept his Medicare card as proof so that he can only pay 1/2. He said ok he will do that. I'll check next week to see just how much he is willing to do. We spoke about him getting a job, washing dishes. They'll practically hire anyone I understand. He said he couldn't do that, he wants a job where he wears a suit and needs money to look for a suit, plus he needs an ID. He let his Florida ID lapse, told us he went and got one, then said no, he was not telling us the truth. So, I don't want to be his POA. Or guardian. He threatened me. I am not going to be his guardian.
In the meantime I found out that the Medicare card alone is not enough. But he needs do what he can, and go to subway booth and ask the attendant. I'm giving him a few days, the subway is not far from where he lives. He's healthy enough to walk.
He told me that SSI said they made a mistake, but he needs to come in at the beginning of January, they made an appointment. I don't know why he can't go in and wait in the office before that. But maybe that's true, that he has to wait until January for them to go over their records. He also said he contacted a legal aid lawyer who told him to call after his Jan. 3 appt. I mentioned that the lawyer will take a percentage. He said he knows, 33 percent. So he knows all that, and knows how to do that.
He finally admitted he was lying after his roommate told me he hasn't paid rent for months. Some people are smart enough to lie. Meantime, he's not paying rent, his friend said he can't throw him out even though his own welfare is at stake, and my BIL will be getting about $300 for the month, this month, with the SSDI. That should take care of the food, since he's not paying rent anyway. He wanted money for a new phone. We are not giving it to him as he wants it. I told him he can get a government phone, he said no, he doesn't want that. I was willing to work with him IF HE TOLD ME THE TRUTH and what makes sense to me. His phone broke, he says his friend put him on his line, etc., and he owes his friend $60 a month. I finally asked him if the payment would go up with a new phone, he said no. I called AT&T an asked if payment goes up. They said yes. So I believe AT&T. When I confronted my BIL about that, he said, "Oh, my friend said he'd foot the difference." Do you think I believe that? :-) I'd have to verify it with his friend before I believe it. Especially because he won't let me speak to his friend that pays the bill. (OK, and oh well, I say...)
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Old 12-01-2018, 11:36 PM
 
841 posts, read 298,139 times
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By the way, I feel very, very sorry for my BIL. But the last time he was with us (his mother couldn't take it any more with him, so she asked us to watch him for a while until she calmed down, and I agreed), he would not listen to anything. I told him he needed to be home by 10 o'clock. He could do anything he wanted but needed to be back by 10 PM. I didn't want to worry. He told me I can't tell him what to do. And since I had to leave the house for an appointment, I taught private music lessons, I told him that now that he said that, he'd have to get out because I'm not going to allow him to do everything he wants, especially to come back when he thinks it's ok on the first night. That's as he was admiring himself in the mirror. I remember it well, although 35 years ago. He got upset when I said if he wasn't out of the house when I was leaving (I gave him 2 dimes to call his mother, one extra if he lost the first one), phone calls were $.10 from a public phone back then, I'd call the police. He did run out in anger, and his mother got upset when I told her I had to get him out of the house. She blamed it on me! :-) LOL. His other brother gave him THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS after his mother died. I asked my BIL what he did with all that money. He said he paid his friends back. Paid his friends back? I said why didn't you keep some of it for yourself in case you needed it and pay your friends in time? He then said, "Do you think I should not have paid my friends back?" So he is off the wall, that's about the expression that I can use right now.
Yes, $50 is good enough for right now. As a goodwill gesture. I think he knows he's not getting any more. When I told him that's all we can do, he said, "Well, I'll have to make do with that." I hope so.
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Old 12-02-2018, 06:57 AM
 
Location: The Ozone Layer, apparently...
1,906 posts, read 674,868 times
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Some mental issues wont allow someone to be home by 10; or, do anything that falls within the guidelines of 'normal'. A schizophrenic (as an example) is not on the same plane of existence as everyone else, even though you see them there with you. Concepts of time are not the same. Reasons things happen are how they make sense to the schizophrenic and not why they actually happen. The schizophrenic is not lying, but more like telling you his truth. Making matters worse is the fact the mentally impaired are people and therefore can lie too, but just because they aren't telling 'normal truth' it doesn't, in and of itself, mean they are lying. They might be very honestly telling you what they understand - no matter how off-base and/or out-of-left-field that might seem to anyone else.

I think he should go back to Florida too. Due to the amount of elderly people who have retired there for decades, I have heard that Florida is much better equipped with facilities and programs to help disabled people.
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Old 12-02-2018, 10:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
Don't give him anymore money until you fully understand what's going on and why he can't prove the rent stuff. Have him show you the explanation letters. Don't be ruled by guilt.
Thanks for that, I was just re-reading some of the comments. I will definitely ask him for a copy of the letter in the future, asap.
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Old 12-02-2018, 10:05 PM
 
841 posts, read 298,139 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ComeCloser View Post
Some mental issues wont allow someone to be home by 10; or, do anything that falls within the guidelines of 'normal'. A schizophrenic (as an example) is not on the same plane of existence as everyone else, even though you see them there with you. Concepts of time are not the same. Reasons things happen are how they make sense to the schizophrenic and not why they actually happen. The schizophrenic is not lying, but more like telling you his truth. Making matters worse is the fact the mentally impaired are people and therefore can lie too, but just because they aren't telling 'normal truth' it doesn't, in and of itself, mean they are lying. They might be very honestly telling you what they understand - no matter how off-base and/or out-of-left-field that might seem to anyone else.

I think he should go back to Florida too. Due to the amount of elderly people who have retired there for decades, I have heard that Florida is much better equipped with facilities and programs to help disabled people.
Not saying that does or doesn't apply to my BIL, but I can say this: I am not equipped emotionally to handle (or take care of) someone like that.
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