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Old 11-30-2018, 09:41 AM
 
3,929 posts, read 2,766,269 times
Reputation: 7235

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People have always moved. My great great grandparents sailed across the ocean to get to the US. Each following generation moved to where the jobs were. We moved four times. Our grown children have moved.

We all work, we're all busy, but when we do see each other, it's wonderful. No resentments or expectations at all. We make the effort to drive or fly to visit; we go more because it's easier for us.

That said, it has been heartbreaking for me to watch two of my aunts who never worked, refuse to either visit or move to where their grown children landed. Decades later, they are still bitter, lonely and missing all the joy of the grandchildren that they rarely see. With work/school schedules, it's hard and expensive for young families to travel often. I don't get it, I would joyously walk 500 miles uphill in snow to see my kids and grandkids.
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Old 11-30-2018, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,746 posts, read 4,228,138 times
Reputation: 6866
My story is a bit unusual. I have one child on the west coast, one in New England and one who recently moved home from Florida. The latter moved home because he and his wife decided it was important that their two year old daughter grow up near family. So, for the moment, they are living in my home while looking for a home to purchase. Between the son, DIL, toddler, dog and cat, it is chaotic for sure, but I'm loving it!
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Old 11-30-2018, 10:48 AM
 
Location: North Alabama
776 posts, read 1,852,901 times
Reputation: 746
We see our daughter maybe a couple times a year. More if there's a funeral, marriage or reunion. I would like it to be more.
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Old 11-30-2018, 10:55 AM
 
Location: Kronenwetter Wisconsin
292 posts, read 142,579 times
Reputation: 600
We live in Wisconsin. Recently our son, his wife and 15 year old grandson moved in with us because they will be building in a year or two on the land we own next to our own. My daughter and her husband and 4 grandkids have been in Alaska the last 20 months. We miss them because the 2 youngest are 5 and 4. We were there in August for 2 weeks and they will be home for a week next summer. But they are pursuing their dream of living them and we are happy for them. We Facetime a couple of times a week. When we retire we will go up for a longer time period or maybe twice a year.
My grandparents came over here from Poland. I remember when my grandmother got a letter from her brother that her mom died a few weeks earlier. That is so sad.
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Old 11-30-2018, 11:05 AM
 
43 posts, read 15,635 times
Reputation: 69
My DH just retired and we are planning a move to a locale that will be fun for us. DD is in NYC (never going to chase her there!), another DD in dental school and will end up who knows where, and our youngest is still in college but will likely head out west when he graduates. No grandchildren yet, but I plan to move to wherever they are living.
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Old 11-30-2018, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Buckeye, Arizona
276 posts, read 110,724 times
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Our daughters moved away after college for jobs and for a change . . . why they would want to leave Iowa I don't know! Both settled in Phoenix metro coincidentally, and now we are nearing 65 years of age and both retired, although I still work part-time -- it's time for us to move to them.


Our biggest concern is they will move away from Phoenix! It will be fine, since we will be retired and warm there in a 55+ community. We let them spread their wings for 10-14 years, now we are spreading ours and leaving the state we have lived in for over 60 years.
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Old 11-30-2018, 12:12 PM
 
8,892 posts, read 5,159,127 times
Reputation: 10175
Quote:
Originally Posted by bell235 View Post
For those of you who have adult children who moved far away - how do you feel about it? How often do you see them? Is there any resentment that they left and now you only seem them a few times a year? Did you have kids thinking that they would remain close by for your lifetime? or did you want them to "spread their wings and soar" type of thing?
Well, I miss her. But no, I do not resent her living her own life. We raise our kids with the aim of helping them reach independence; that was the whole point.
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Old 11-30-2018, 12:15 PM
 
Location: The Outer Limits
1,469 posts, read 1,826,428 times
Reputation: 2431
Quote:
Originally Posted by mschrief View Post
Well WE moved away from the adult children.

Not like they gave two flips about us when we were living 10 minutes from them.

And where we are now we are not missing much.
Yea, it's all about them isn't it.

Today there are Helicopter parents, Lawnmower parents, and everything in between.

Attention parents, break down those shrines you have been maintaining at the old homestead, and chase your own dreams and adventures.

When your time comes to pass, rest assure your darlings will show up to beat down the door, look for the will, and order a dumpster to pass on your belongings
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Old 11-30-2018, 01:06 PM
 
1,567 posts, read 781,452 times
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Doesn't bother me in the least, husband feels the same. We are all adults and doing our own thing. I do know several people who are joined at the hip with their adult kids (or would like to be and resent the fact the adult kids are not interested) and they would not even consider moving to a different town, let alone far away. Sounds stifling to me.
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Old 11-30-2018, 02:03 PM
 
8,892 posts, read 5,159,127 times
Reputation: 10175
Quote:
Originally Posted by bgrasser View Post
Yea, it's all about them isn't it.

Today there are Helicopter parents, Lawnmower parents, and everything in between.

Attention parents, break down those shrines you have been maintaining at the old homestead, and chase your own dreams and adventures.

When your time comes to pass, rest assure your darlings will show up to beat down the door, look for the will, and order a dumpster to pass on your belongings
Wow, that's sad. Sorry.
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