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Don’t feel sorry for me, I’ve been chasing my dreams and adventures since retirement, we ordered the dumpster, broke down and sold the homestead, and were off, so far, 8 years spent on the East coast of Florida, then thought we would try the mountains of Western NC, 2 years to date...who knows what tomorrow will bring ?
I have 4 children. My oldest son (only son) - joined the Army in 2008 - we were in SE TX when he left. My oldest Daughter is still in SE TX along with spouse and 2 daughters of her own. 2nd daughter left AZ (where we were living) when she graduated from College to WA. our youngest daughter is still in the area where we left in 2017 in AZ, going to college and working now.
I/we moved back to Texas for a promotion for me - 30 miles from oldest daughter and grand kids. Son is stationed in AK with 3 of his 4 kids. With most of his family in TX, my hope is that when he retires from Army he comes back somewhere in TX. His dad is in Corpus Christi - I am for now in SE TX along with his sister..... Youngest will probably stay in AZ and who knows where Mid daughter will end.
We have two sons. The oldest graduated HS in 1999 and his younger brother in 2000. We live in the Greater Detroit area of Michigan.
Since HS, the oldest son has lived in:
Miami, FL - Undergrad
Gainesville, FL - Law School
Saipan (Northern Marianas Islands near Guam)
Alexandria, VA (DC)
Boston, MA
Pittsburgh, PA (effective Spring of 2020)
Since HS, the youngest son has lived in:
Troy, NY (near Albany) - Undergrad
Raleigh NC
Boston, MA - second UG degree
New Haven CT
Grater Detroit Area (Yeah!) - Med School
Pittsburgh, PA
When the oldest relocates to Pittsburgh in the Spring as planned, it will be the first time both boys have lived in the same State since High School!
We see them 3 to 6 times per year. We see the youngest more often than his older brother because the youngest is still close to his high school friends, almost all of whom stayed local.
Are we all supposed to stay in the same city our parents live? I tried numerous times in the last 30 years to find a good job in my hometown. I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to take a 30% "hometown discount" to remain close to home.
I was the ONLY one in my generation in my extended family who settled over 100 miles from our hometown. In the next generation, MOST are moving away for better job opportunities. My parents had no expectation that I would remain at home. They hear from me more often than the four siblings that live within twenty minutes.
no one stated you need to live in the same city
100 miles isn't that terribly far
It's nice you tried to get a job at home
Family is so important
Yet when there are hardly any opportunities
You did what you could
it takes 2.5 hrs or 5 hrs round trip for our son to visit for the weekend
He often stays longer, this time it's been a week so far
we are blessed
The few months a year he cannot show up,
we drive down for the day to take him out to eat for dinner then somewhere else ( a movie or whatever)
So we go weeks without speaking but when together, usually one weekend a month, it's GREAT
Last edited by BumbleBeeHunter; 11-30-2018 at 04:13 PM..
Don’t feel sorry for me, I’ve been chasing my dreams and adventures since retirement, we ordered the dumpster, broke down and sold the homestead, and were off, so far, 8 years spent on the East coast of Florida, then thought we would try the mountains of Western NC, 2 years to date...who knows what tomorrow will bring ?
Don't feel sorry for me either. I was delighted to get away from the Pacific NW. We very pleased with our location, the benefits of living in Texas (no property tax - husband is disabled vet), low COL.
It has been quite a revelation to my husband - his family rarely call him or email. Reception this summer when we visited was lukewarm towards him. It hurt me to see him visibly sad at their disinterest, but it has always been that way.
Out of sight, out of mind. And, no more calling him up to fix their disposer, make home repairs, put the delivery of ladybugs on the garden, or drive over and give fresh water to their dog...I think they are not happy that he isn't there to DO things for them.
So for those who don't care or who moved away from their adult children, what is your plan if you ever become disabled?
Or is everyone free to live their lives and chase their dreams at that point too?
My Dad told all of us that we should decide where we were going to put down roots in our first job out of college. There wasn't much in NE Ohio in some of the fields we pursued. I stayed in Cincinnati, where I got my first job and then moved to NJ and eventually to the KC area. Other siblings have been mostly in the Carolinas. They ended up moving, too, though- mostly for Dad's job- from Ohio to Buffalo to Chicago to Myrtle Beach to Detroit and then finally retirement in Myrtle Beach.
My only son went to college in Des Moines and is still there 11 years after graduation- he just changed jobs but stayed in Des Moines. So, I have a 3-hour drive to be near the grandchildren and see them every couple of months. I'm fine with that and grateful DS has a good job.
As for plans when we can't live independently: Dad moved to an Independent Living place near one brother after Mom died and it's working well for him. My plan will be to do something similar- move close to DS and DDIL but not into their house. I hope that's not for awhile- I'm "only" 65 and I love the life I have here.
So for those who don't care or who moved away from their adult children, what is your plan if you ever become disabled?
Or is everyone free to live their lives and chase their dreams at that point too?
If I/wife became so disabled that we couldn’t take care of each other, we would have to pick one...senior assisted living or nursing home, I doubt either one of us could live with our children, our lives are on different tracks, my big concern is who would maintain our homestead? Of late, I’ve been hiring out jobs that I no longer can do, heck, we’re on 65 acres, the driveway is 1/2 mile long, lots of yard/tractor work, and my closest neighbor is over 1/2 mile away.
Realizing we’re getting on in time, this past year we had the For Sale sign up, got to thinking, took it down for at least another year...just not through living our dream.
So for those who don't care or who moved away from their adult children, what is your plan if you ever become disabled?
CCRC
We are already investigating CCRC's. Although it sounds hurtful, we are not confident our sons would take an active interest in our geriatric care and well being even if they did live close to us. So our plan is to take care of things ourselves while we are still able.
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