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Old 12-05-2018, 08:28 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,554 posts, read 17,535,380 times
Reputation: 27596

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
Fate often presents choices. Those choices can have a major impact on our lives. A major fork in the road occurred after I returned from Vietnam and left the military.
My major fork in the road was moving to Iowa. I don't know if I'd call the move "unsuccessful," as I really did gain a lot of life experience there. That move, unbeknownst to me at the time, set the stage for a series of other significant life decisions.

At that time, I'd never lived more than a half hour from my family, or without a partner. Moving across the country with no more than I could fit in an SUV, to a town I had only done limited research on and had never been to before, took some guts. I respect anyone who is willing to just hit the road like that in search of a better life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jasperhobbs View Post
I think you are in a good position. Good salary in a low cost of living area. You should be able to sock away a lot of money and use getaways to bigger areas to combat boredom. I have never been to the tri-cities but have been to Knoxville and Pigeon Forge area and really like it. Of course, visiting for a week is not the same as living somewhere.
I'm within an hour of Asheville. I can get up at 6-7 on a Saturday morning and be in Knoxville, Chattanooga, Raleigh, Charlotte, potentially Nashville, and basically anywhere in South Carolina by lunch, and leave wherever by suppertime on Sunday and be in bed by 11. If you look at it like that, it isn't so bad. When I was in college, I'd try to avoid having classes on Friday evenings. I'd leave here about 12 (girlfriend at the time was in college in SC), and I'd pick her up and go to Charleston for the weekend. She had relatives with property down there and we did that dozens of times.

The problem is motivating yourself to do these things or making the free time. My girlfriend isn't really able to travel. Between her, my on-call responsibilities for work, and my family, I feel tied down here on the weekends.

My mental health is much, much better if I'm on the road doing things I want to do on my days off than puttering around town. My girlfriend is a lot like my parents - she's perfectly fine to do the Walmart run on Saturday, and maybe catch a movie and go out to eat. After that, she's fine to watch TV. Unless the weather is just absolutely horrible, I'm sick, etc., it's rare that I'm not doing something on the weekends. I'm not the type of person just to veg out in front of the television.

Last edited by Serious Conversation; 12-05-2018 at 08:40 AM..
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Old 12-05-2018, 12:48 PM
 
6,533 posts, read 1,339,947 times
Reputation: 16547
Earlier this year, while my husband was temporarily unemployed, he registered with a couple of online job sites. Although he found another job relatively quickly, he continued to get notifications about jobs that he would be qualified for. Well, one evening I heard him say something like, "How do you feel about Wisconsin?" I said, "What?" And he said that there was a position that sounded PERFECT for him (but, again, he had just accepted another job, which he still has). At that time, Wisconsin wasn't even on our radar, let alone our list of possibilities.

Anyway, before this, we had decided after many vacations to New Hampshire that we would move to that state for our retirement, and so for three years, we searched online and through numerous scouting/vacation trips to find a home or building lot that would fit our needs, wants and budget with no luck. So, just for grins, the next day, I did some research about Wisconsin and discovered Door County, which has been described as the "New England [or Cape Cod] of the Midwest." In June we took a scouting trip there and loved it, but nothing was for sale that we liked then, but then we decided to take another trip in October -- with the end result being that we now own a lot there (it closes Friday) and plan to start building our retirement home within two years!

All because of what started out as a "ha-ha, big joke" remark from my husband!
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Old 12-05-2018, 03:31 PM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,643 posts, read 8,559,902 times
Reputation: 19847
I met a man who was engaged. He was 35 years old and had never been married.
He met his fiancee through mutual friends in Newark. And even though they knew a lot of the same people they had never met each other.
They are sitting a talking at her house one day and all of a sudden she jumps up and runs into the other room. She comes back holding the yearbook from her kindergarten class.
And the two of them are standing in the front row holding hands.


[Ok. That wasn't a butterfly story, but it is still a good story]
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Old 12-05-2018, 05:17 PM
JRR
 
Location: Middle Tennessee
3,676 posts, read 2,223,468 times
Reputation: 5213
Back in 1993 we were living in Vero Beach FL. I was working 60 hours a week at two low paying jobs and my wife was working in a bank. We were making ends meet, but that was about all.

We had a subscription to the Miami Herald newspaper, but one Sunday, on the spur of the moment, I bought an Orlando Sentinel paper. There was an ad that a national financial services company was looking for trainees for a call center being opened in Orlando. They would provide the paid training for getting the required securities licenses. I applied and was pleasantly surprised when I was hired. Then two weeks after I started my training, the company was hiring for another division that was coming to Orlando. I told my wife about it, but she wanted to stay at the bank until I got through my training. Then a couple of days later, her boss at the bank ticked her off so much that she applied for the job and was one of only four people hired from the outside for the department.

So we wound up moving to Orlando and worked there for 21 years. We both got multiple securities licenses and retired in 2014. Don't know what would have happened with us if I had not bought that one newspaper, but buying it sure was the best money I ever spent.
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Old 12-05-2018, 05:59 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,427 posts, read 1,664,703 times
Reputation: 8643
We grew up in Indiana and were living there when DH came home one day and told me a job had been posted in NY with his company. I asked him if he he was applying and he was surprised to learn I was all for it. He applied and we were both sent out there to look at the housing situation. I still remember our first time flying into LaGuardia airport at night with all the lights on the bridges and buildings, I was dazzled.

The office was located north of NYC. We started looking at homes in Westchester, boy were we rubes! We ended two counties up and across the Hudson. The prices were shocking to us, a house like the one we had in IN was twice the price in NY and that was not considering hefty tax and utility increases. We went home disappointed, thinking it was a wash, but when it came time to say yes or no, we decided why not, we would work it out. Ah, to be that young again with such faith!

It did work out, I got a job that lead to training on MR/CT scanners, but DH’s office closed a year after we moved. I can clearly remember the day we walked around the block, it was a mile, while discussing our future and options. We decided to stay and he would apply for a job within his company that required travel. We both fast tracked in our careers, with DH eventually eclipsing me.

We had two doors open and we chose to see what was on the other side. At the time though, it sometimes felt like we were doing a freefall through them, butterfly wings or not.
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Old 12-05-2018, 06:29 PM
 
3,536 posts, read 1,350,218 times
Reputation: 6929
romance story:

college room-mate's brother broke up with his girlfriend.
i married that girlfriend. 36 years later, here we are.
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Old 12-05-2018, 06:56 PM
 
Location: Northeastern Pennsylvania
104 posts, read 47,712 times
Reputation: 221
In 1977 I lost my job at a small town machine shop that I had worked at off and on for four years. It really wasn't a good job, certainly not what you would call a career. I did learn useful skills there though. I was 25 years old and married for just 4 years. My wife was 6 mos pregnant with our son.

One day I heard that several companies in a larger neighboring city were hiring. I decided to take a day and apply at the one that I felt I had a good chance of getting hired. I decided to apply at the other place too. Kind of an afterthought really. Just covering my bases. When I got the call it came from the other company and not the one that I planned on. I was interviewed and got hired. Just like that. I worked at that company for 25 years, 1978 – 2002 and had a successful career there. They had great health insurance and a profit sharing program. It was good there. Unfortunately in 2002 I got downsized. I was offered a decent severance package. I accepted and “retired”. I was just 50 years old.

I was out of work for 9 months. Looking but not finding. One day I met a former coworker and he told me about a free dinner by an investor that hoped to sign people up with his firm. The food was good but I didn't sign. However that evening the coworker told me about a job support group that met every Thursday.So I went to a meeting. Didn't really think about it, I usually analyze things to death but not this time. I just went and I went every week. One of the guys at the meeting, sort of the leader of the group, mentioned that his manager where he worked wanted to interview me for a job. I interviewed and got a job offer. I also had found a job on my own and got a job offer from that company the same day. One permanent and one 6 months temp to permanent. The temp job paid a lot more and was exactly in my job skills. I took a chance and accepted the temp job. I got hired full time in 3 months.

That was in June of 2003 and worked there for 10 years. It was the highest paying job that I ever had. That company closed it's doors in 2012. I was fortunate to again get a decent severance package.

Both of these successful outcomes came from unexpected directions. Over 35 years of mostly stable employment allowed me to have a great home and family and a decent retirement.


TU
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Old 12-06-2018, 02:22 PM
 
61 posts, read 30,532 times
Reputation: 234
Don't know if it is a "butterfly story", but these events changed my life. I graduated from grad school in 1974 and despite looking, had no job prospects. So I went "home" to a new place my parents had moved to in Illinois. Once there I continued my job search, still with no success. A week or two later, my dad noticed an empty office in one of the buildings where he then worked. He asked about it and found that they were looking for someone with exactly the skills I possessed. I applied and was interviewed and offered the job. (So, if you're keeping tabs, that was butterfly #1.)

One of the people I interviewed with was a handsome older man from a country half a world away. Long story short, that man became my DH of now 40 years. (Butterfly #2). We lived there for almost 30 years and raised a son and a daughter. Funny how I recall that during the interview he told me he thought I'd like it there!
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Old 12-06-2018, 06:13 PM
 
628 posts, read 402,322 times
Reputation: 3541
It was February 1994. My husband had died of CLL the previous September. I had given birth to my baby, the gift he left me, on January 30. I am Autistic. I had actually spent the years from 7 until 14 years old, with selective mutism [which is NOT elective, and is common with Autistic people, especially those who had sufferred trauma] As an adult, I did speak, but I was such a shy little mouse. I would never even THINK of talking back to anyone. EVER!

The first few days of that school year, my kids had not attended school because we were all by Larrys' bed as he lay dying. Then they took a few days of school off after that. After only a week after he started back to school my son was sent home. He had started coughing and choking in school. They had sent him down to the nurses office, who looked at his throat and saw it was bright red. I was told that they suspected strep throat but that he needed a note from the doctor to return to school. He told me that the reason it was red is because he had been stress chewing on his pencil and started choking and he was too embarrassed as to WHY his throat was red to tell the truth. I called the principal, who did not believe me and insisted that Casey get a note from the doctors' before he could come back to school.

We had just spent money to move from the house we had been renting to a flat, paid my husbands' funeral expenses, AND my Larrys' dogs' cremation [in New Jersey a cremated dog costs MORE than a human cremation because the law was that a cremated animal had to be cremated in the same way that a human did, but not in one used by humans. there was only one animal crematorium in the state] and I was broke. I assumed that my husbands insurance through his job had expired when he did. It took over a week for me to come up with the money. Then he had to walk 5 miles each way to get a note from the doctor. Finally he was back at school. Occasionally he would say something like "Mom, do you ever stand in the middle of the drawbridge and think how nice it would be to just jump into the water [If you are asking WHY did I not immediately get him counseling...well, reasons, good ones] and I would say "Honey, why don't you stay home and we'll play cards?" and he would. THEN he caught and aLMOST DIED FROM chickenpox. But then he got better, the baby was born, Casey was making good grades, and attending school regularly. Things were going relatively well. Until I got the phone call.

The school said that I had to go to a meeting about Caseys' high ammount of abscences. I told Casey "I'll just explain about Daddy dying and when the school would not allow you to attend until I found a way to come up with money and how you were in the hospital and almost died from chickenpox." Casey said "i already told them that. They don't care." I told him not to worry, that I would take care of it. He got even more upset, saying he needed his Daddy, that his Daddy would take care of it. He said that I wouldn't , that I was the type of person, who, if someone were to come up and slug me I would apologize for getting my face in the way of his fist [ yeah, that was the way I was] He kept crying about how bad he needed his dad and that this situation made him feel it even more. I told him that I promised I would not "wimp out" and he just got more hysterical.

So, carrying baby L.J. [Larry Junior]close to my chest to keep him warm, I walked the frigid 4 blocks to the school. The meeting was in the principals' office.I felt SOOOO intimidated, but my son had already lost so much, I was determined that he would not feel that he had also lost the only person who 'had his back." They showed me all of the dates that Casey had missed class and asked if I was aware of how many days [19] and I said yes. I started to explain everything, and he was pretty nasty and mean. Mostly, though, I was trying to think of something, anything, to help my son. Then the principal said that it had been 4 months since Larry had died and that Casey should be over it. I felt this very strange, very strong sensation in my body. It was the first time I remember that I have ever experienced anger. but, I still did not know what to say so that Casey would know I had his back. Then the principal said that Casey could not stay home from school ever or that criminal charges would be pressed against me and truancy charges against Casey as well. He told me that even if CAsey were ill that I needed to send him to school and that the nurse would determine if he was too sick to be in school. Casey said, "What if the nurse can't tell?"

AND THAT IS WHEN I DID IT. I pointed to the principals shoe and said, " That will be easy honey, just throw up on this *******s' shoes!" [oh, once the principal contained hoimself, he said that if Casey was ill he did not need to come to school and throw up on his feet to prove it]

When Casey got home he kept telling me how I was his hero. He said he never thought that me, of all people could do it but that I had "OutDaddied Daddy!] This still gets me excited! Even though for years I had been able to speak, I was 38 years old when I finally found my voice! And I never lost it again!

There is another story I could share, just as big, but....no.
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Old 12-06-2018, 08:04 PM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,643 posts, read 8,559,902 times
Reputation: 19847
Quote:
Originally Posted by vicky3vicky View Post
............

AND THAT IS WHEN I DID IT. I pointed to the principals shoe and said, " That will be easy honey, just throw up on this *******s' shoes!" [oh, once the principal contained hoimself, he said that if Casey was ill he did not need to come to school and throw up on his feet to prove it]

When Casey got home he kept telling me how I was his hero. He said he never thought that me, of all people could do it but that I had "OutDaddied Daddy!] This still gets me excited! Even though for years I had been able to speak, I was 38 years old when I finally found my voice! And I never lost it again!

There is another story I could share, just as big, but....no.
What a great butterfly moment! Congratulations!
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