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Old 12-09-2018, 12:23 PM
 
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Hi all!

We were all taught about politeness, I'm sure, but in my case the "brashness of youth" ( perhaps, perhaps rebelling against authority) meant i never used politeness very well.

Think, for an example: someone is in middle of grocery or department store aisle looking at shelves of goods. You see what you want or need, do you say "excuse me"? Or do you just step in their field of vision to grab what you want?

When some stranger or store employee reaches an item on the too shelf for you do you say " thank you"?
If you asked for their help in reaching that item, did you say " would you get me one of XX for me, PLEASE"? Or did you just essentially say "gimme that "?

Do you hold open the door for others? Or just let it slam behind you, even if its in the next person's face? If someone holds the door for you do you say thank you?

Im just wondering.

Like i Said perhaps the brashness of youth or the fact i worked retail where you are basically paid to bend over backward to accommodate them, i used to NOT be so polite to others.

As i have gotten older, i have been polite much much more. And 10 years ago when i first started using a cane, people who were able, would go out of their way to hold the door for me, or offer to carry items fir me, so i became even more polite.

Lol, i found its only words. And only a few of them. And it dies NOT hurt to say them (contrary to what some of all ages may think), and can often brighten someone's day.

So, have you become MORE polite or LESS polite as you aged???

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Old 12-09-2018, 12:27 PM
 
71,560 posts, read 71,730,589 times
Reputation: 49156
i am the same sob i always was . maybe just with less patients for stupid people today .
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Old 12-09-2018, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,365 posts, read 3,700,708 times
Reputation: 4105
no change
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Old 12-09-2018, 12:36 PM
 
6,253 posts, read 4,731,924 times
Reputation: 12844
I'm better than ever.
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Old 12-09-2018, 12:39 PM
 
2,443 posts, read 2,071,602 times
Reputation: 5690
I have always opened doors for women. I must admit part of the reason was to look at their butt
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Old 12-09-2018, 12:46 PM
 
1,647 posts, read 567,483 times
Reputation: 3112
In the ways described in the OP, my politeness level is the same as its always been. Even as a child I had a strong sense of empathy and would look at things through the lens of "how would I feel if somebody did/said that to ME?" and act accordingly.

This did make it harder for me to understand people who acted in a mean or thoughtless or rude way, though. I could not relate to that kind of thought process.

What HAS changed as I have aged is that I am now willing to express my opinions without fear of being liked or regarded less because of them. That's not the same as being less polite. For example when I was in my 20s I would never have expressed a political opinion to anybody whom I didn't already know agreed with what I thought. I'd be afraid that others would not like me, or would like or love me less, because of it. I also rarely stood up for myself. Nowadays I will express my opinion and defend it if attacked, but not in an ad hominem or rude way.

I do have much less tolerance for rude or obnoxious people. Whereas in the past I would stand there and grin through gritted teeth and say nothing, now I will walk away if possible -- and if not, I will politely make it known that I don't appreciate or condone whatever has been said.

Also if there is going to somebody at a gathering whom I find intolerably objectionable I will not go. For example one member of my former in-laws is a professed neo-Nazi/white supremacist and after a beer or two he always began to expound. I went to a holiday gathering at that house for years and sat there and said nothing "to keep the peace." As did everyone else. Nobody ever objected. Finally I put my foot down and said that if he was going to be there I would not go because if I did, I would need to speak up and then there would be a nasty scene. I was about 50 years old at that point. My refusal to attend was taken as rudeness and gross disloyalty to my then-husband's family (even by then-husband.) So sometimes rudeness is in the eye of the beholders and you just can't win either way, LOL
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Old 12-09-2018, 12:46 PM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,643,583 times
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No change , polite as always
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Old 12-09-2018, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
7,253 posts, read 4,139,840 times
Reputation: 15666
I have less patience when it comes to idiots and morons. And I'm more vocal about it. And don't even get me started on the HOA Nazis. I gave them an earful at the last HOA meeting.
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Old 12-09-2018, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,655 posts, read 4,705,800 times
Reputation: 27983
Quote:
Originally Posted by galaxyhi View Post
Think, for an example: someone is in middle of grocery or department store aisle looking at shelves of goods. You see what you want or need, do you say "excuse me"? Or do you just step in their field of vision to grab what you want?
I come back a few minutes later so as to avoid disturbing them. They have just as much right to browse undisturbed as I do.

Quote:
When some stranger or store employee reaches an item on the too shelf for you do you say " thank you"?
Of course. And I smile.

Quote:
If you asked for their help in reaching that item, did you say " would you get me one of XX for me, PLEASE"? Or did you just essentially say "gimme that "?
I don't ask for help. It drives DH crazy. But sometimes people see me struggling and volunteer.

Quote:
Do you hold open the door for others?
Yes, men and women alike.

Quote:
If someone holds the door for you do you say thank you?
Of course! They didn't have to do that.

This all seems so obvious but maybe it isn't.
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Old 12-09-2018, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Texas of course
563 posts, read 266,604 times
Reputation: 2897
My husband and I were both raised to be polite and considerate and that hasn't changed. I have noticed a lot of people must not have been taught to be polite though. My husband always holds the door when he sees someone else coming in stores etc...VERY few say thank you.
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