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Old 12-11-2018, 01:05 PM
 
1,780 posts, read 2,167,698 times
Reputation: 5877

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As a writer, author, widow and sensitive soul, I like this particular forum ("Retirement") because I've observed that (generally) folks here are kinder and gentler and more thoughtful of other people's feelings. Maybe it's a feature of age, or learning good manners early on, or having the hard edges shaved off by life's difficulties.

However...

Following up on that thread about - are you more polite now than you were in younger years...

There were two commenters on that thread who said that they were "very polite" (paraphrasing) and yet I have seen those two rip people apart on other posts.

It seems like too many folks on the CD forum just browse the threads looking for a way to antagonize people or start an argument or cause an upset. It's hard to imagine that these same folks would say these ugly things to a person face-to-face.

Do posters here stop and think about what the person on the other end of that computer is going through? Or how their words might hurt someone else?

In fairness, the good and kind commenters well outnumber the mean-spirited folks, but those bad apples do indeed threaten the whole barrel.

Last edited by RosemaryT; 12-11-2018 at 01:30 PM..
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Old 12-11-2018, 01:20 PM
 
6,596 posts, read 1,361,653 times
Reputation: 16663
Rosemary, perhaps you could put those people on Ignore? I do, and although the list now consists of "only" about 20 or so posters, it has made my CD experience much more pleasant.

Also, I am not sure what posts you meant, but sometimes (I have learned) people sometimes take offense when none is meant, and when that happens to me -- when I get an "ugly" response 'out of nowhere' -- if the poster is usually "nice", I will ask for clarification because sometimes I have misunderstood something. I am not saying that is the case with you, but I am just mentioning it as a possibility.

But. yes, I definitely do agree with you, and made a thread about it that is now 59 pages long!

Why do some posters seem to enjoy attacking "nice" people?
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Old 12-11-2018, 01:20 PM
 
171 posts, read 128,342 times
Reputation: 472
I'm a sensitive soul, too. and have been burned many times just trying to have a nice conversation or make a comment.
I recall so clearly the first time I responded on a movie forum about list your 10 favorite films and then on another list your 10 most disliked. (This was in the 1980's or early '90's)


I was so excited to make my first observations that I did it wrong and switched the lists. I waited and waited for someone to respond and then when the OP posted - I got my head chopped off as I had made my entries incorrectly.
Most liked films wound up on the most disliked, etc.
His response actually brought me to tears.

Now looking back I wonder what kind of an odd person made such a big deal about something so trivial and my intentions were quite obvious as to likes and dislikes.

Who can figure out this type of rigid, black and white thinking?
.
Now I will often seen that same mentality online and I still don't get it.

Last edited by christianstad; 12-11-2018 at 01:22 PM.. Reason: corrections
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Old 12-11-2018, 01:28 PM
 
1,780 posts, read 2,167,698 times
Reputation: 5877
Quote:
Originally Posted by katharsis View Post
Rosemary, perhaps you could put those people on Ignore? I do, and although the list now consists of "only" about 20 or so posters, it has made my CD experience much more pleasant.

Also, I am not sure what posts you meant, but sometimes (I have learned) people sometimes take offense when none is meant, and when that happens to me -- when I get an "ugly" response 'out of nowhere' -- if the poster is usually "nice", I will ask for clarification because sometimes I have misunderstood something. I am not saying that is the case with you, but I am just mentioning it as a possibility.

But. yes, I definitely do agree with you, and made a thread about it that is now 59 pages long!

Why do some posters seem to enjoy attacking "nice" people?

Thank you so much, Katharsis! I'll read that link tonight when I'm home again. It's a great question and one that has puzzled me.

You're 100% right that I need to learn how to manage the ignore button. I've got three posters in mind right now. I swear, one of them is following me around and commenting on most of my posts. I don't like that.

One poster attacked me for using the word "thusly" and then questioned the truth of my statement that I was a professional writer! Seriously? What in the world? Some of this stuff just leaves me shaking my head.

Thank you for this post. It helps a lot.
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Old 12-11-2018, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,093 posts, read 5,912,934 times
Reputation: 30347
Yes, we've discussed using the IGNORE button,

which I do liberally... Makes for a pleasant CD experience.
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Old 12-11-2018, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,672 posts, read 4,719,031 times
Reputation: 28113
Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryT View Post
Following up on that thread about - are you more polite now than you were in younger years...

There were two commenters on that thread who said that they were "very polite" (paraphrasing) and yet I have seen those two rip people apart on other posts.
Uh-huh. Given all your oblique and (dare I say, itchy with a b) references elsewhere obviously you don't like someone pointing out when you are wrong. I'm beginning to think that no one has ever dared to cross you before, so this is new and you don't like it.

Spoiler alert: If you keep posting risible stuff, some people will disagree with you.

And for the record? Everyone carries a burden.

This is my last word on the subject, as squabbling is a violation of C-D rules.
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Old 12-11-2018, 01:41 PM
 
11,134 posts, read 8,548,081 times
Reputation: 28129
I think a valuable skill to learn is to not allow nameless, faceless, internet strangers to hurt your feelings. At the end of the day, you don't know these people and they don't know you.

Why are YOU giving them power over YOUR emotions and feelings?
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Old 12-11-2018, 01:42 PM
 
1,780 posts, read 2,167,698 times
Reputation: 5877
And away we go...

LOL.

Off to find that ignore button!
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Old 12-11-2018, 01:49 PM
 
11,134 posts, read 8,548,081 times
Reputation: 28129
Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryT View Post
And away we go...

LOL.

Off to find that ignore button!
Wow. You would put me on ignore simply because I didn't agree with you or give you warm fuzzies? That's not being sensitive. That's being emotionally fragile. Wow.

I gave sound advice that would work for everyone.
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Old 12-11-2018, 04:09 PM
 
Location: S.W. Florida
2,212 posts, read 934,183 times
Reputation: 6238
Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryT View Post
As a writer, author, widow and sensitive soul, I like this particular forum ("Retirement") because I've observed that (generally) folks here are kinder and gentler and more thoughtful of other people's feelings. Maybe it's a feature of age, or learning good manners early on, or having the hard edges shaved off by life's difficulties.

However...

Following up on that thread about - are you more polite now than you were in younger years...

There were two commenters on that thread who said that they were "very polite" (paraphrasing) and yet I have seen those two rip people apart on other posts.

It seems like too many folks on the CD forum just browse the threads looking for a way to antagonize people or start an argument or cause an upset. It's hard to imagine that these same folks would say these ugly things to a person face-to-face.

Do posters here stop and think about what the person on the other end of that computer is going through? Or how their words might hurt someone else?

In fairness, the good and kind commenters well outnumber the mean-spirited folks, but those bad apples do indeed threaten the whole barrel.
The “Ignore” feature here is your friend.
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