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Old 12-13-2018, 04:48 PM
 
Location: Ohio
19,916 posts, read 14,235,190 times
Reputation: 16096

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Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
It's a cultural thing. Somewhere around the last couple of generations, people in the U.S. stopped taking care of their elders and put them in nursing homes.
In many other parts of the world, elders even with their health problems live with family members and never see a nursing home, like they've done for thousands of years.
That's true.

In Germany, homes are built with secondary private entrances, so that elderly parents/in-laws can live with their children and come and go as they please, without disturbing their children.

You need only look at US Census Bureau records to see elderly family members living with one of their children, or one of the children remaining unmarried and living with an elderly parent.

What changed culturally was Social Security and the automobile.

Social Security allowed the elderly to live on their own, and the automobile allowed people to travel far from their birth-place for any number of reasons, primarily job-related.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
I'm not sure that it's so much a "stopped taking care of elders" situation in and of itself, but rather changing life circumstances.
Changing life circumstances have always been common-place. It's hardly new.
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Old 12-13-2018, 05:09 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,365 posts, read 3,700,708 times
Reputation: 4105
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
So why post it? We can't read it.
Copy the title and then do a search. I did this and was able to read the article. It does not work for all WSJ articles but did for this one.
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Old 12-13-2018, 05:32 PM
 
11,133 posts, read 8,540,714 times
Reputation: 28104
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
The problem of aging alone isn't just loneliness. It has to do with health care and meeting basic needs if one is too sick or infirm to meet those needs on their own. If someone has serious health care issues then it can be difficult to live alone.
Can't good planning mitigate some of these issues? Singles have to be honest and know when they need to give up their house or seek assistance. Financial planning for help is a part of the equation.
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Old 12-13-2018, 06:53 PM
 
12,299 posts, read 15,196,725 times
Reputation: 8108
Quote:
Originally Posted by jetgraphics View Post
Perhaps. Perhaps it is a socialist thing, where no one can afford the time and money to care for elders.
To illustrate:
1910 : 0.86% of the GNP was taken by taxes
2018 : between 39% and 44% of the GDP is taken in aggregate taxes (state, local, federal)
Add to that, the pressure for all adults to work at jobs outside the home.

And thanks to socialism and the lie that government will care for us, by taxing other people's children, family size has tanked. Wonder whose children will pay the increased taxes?
1910: average annual income: $433 ($11135 in today's money)
2016: average annual income: $31099.

When you are making nearly triple the money, even after paying 4/9 of that in taxes, you are way better off than the poor souls of a century ago. Plus they had fewer years to enjoy it.

Sorry, small government enthusiasts, but there was less need for government in 1910. Practically no need for a standing army. Almost no automobile or aviation traffic, ergo no need for that infrastructure. Most significant, the population over 60 was very small.

Last edited by pvande55; 12-13-2018 at 07:09 PM..
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Old 12-13-2018, 07:26 PM
 
2,788 posts, read 996,614 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pvande55 View Post
1910: average annual income: $433 ($11135 in today's money)
2016: average annual income: $31099.

When you are making nearly triple the money, even after paying 4/9 of that in taxes, you are way better off than the poor souls of a century ago. Plus they had fewer years to enjoy it.

Sorry, small government enthusiasts, but there was less need for government in 1910. Practically no need for a standing army. Almost no automobile or aviation traffic, ergo no need for that infrastructure. Most significant, the population over 60 was very small.
And according to that posters logic European countries with higher % of taxes than US would have an even larger number of elderly living alone.

I think it’s more of a cultural driven by higher economic standard and the push for once you get to 18 to move out and be on your own. In most other countries because of costs most single young adults live with their parents and it’s looked upon as odd for them to move out on their own unless married. So many homes have all three generations living together.

I was born in Cuba and came to US when I was 11, all my life my grandparents lived with my parents and my brothers and I was the first single son to move out to my own home and I remember that discussion with my grandparents and parents who didn’t understand why I wanted my own place.

The longer we have lived in the States the more Americanized my family has become and my parents now like living on their own home and certainly my nephews have their own homes and wouldn’t think of living with their parents.
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Old 12-13-2018, 08:16 PM
 
6,500 posts, read 4,079,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seeriously View Post
Caring for an elderly parent is a huge undertaking. I've seen lives put on hold, marriages strained and friendships ruined. I wouldn't expect my son, or anyone, to take this on.
Not only that. My mom took in her mother-in-law, my sister took in our father, and within a few years they both had a complete mental and physical breakdown. They did their best, but the stress took its toll, and they developed severe depression and terminal autoimmune diseases that killed them both at far too young an age (while the elders lived on).

My husband knows that I will NOT have his elderly and widowed mother, who currently still lives alone, to live with us. We will make sure she is cared for, but women in my family do not fare well as caregivers and I just will not do it. By the way, she and my father-in-law lived their entire adult lives on a different continent from their parents and never lifted a single finger to care for them in their old age, so I don't feel horribly guilty for not taking her in.
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Old 12-13-2018, 08:48 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,664,674 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken_N View Post
Try this link, no Facebook login required...

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http...ne-11544541134

Click on “follow link”
Didn't work for me even with my FB login. It wanted me to subscribe to the WSJ.
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Old 12-14-2018, 05:08 AM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
9,809 posts, read 5,484,484 times
Reputation: 8378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
..........Here's a new article from the WSJ about "aging alone." What do you pin that on? Late in life divorce? Lack of support from children/not having children? Widowed? How do you plan for aging alone or do you not anticipate it?

How? Currently? A, B, and C.


A: I take it in stride with the wave or compression lift. It's something there that I can't avoid, so I take in the best way to ride it or even utilize it. Being alone was the set of cards dealt to me, so I handle it the best I can.


B: From the late 80s on, I have tried, at one intensity of another, to keep up communication links to there are frequent "position reports".


C: And now, with incidents of another co worker going down, another co worker has implemented a network for all of us to check in with each other.
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Old 12-14-2018, 05:16 AM
 
38,179 posts, read 14,918,071 times
Reputation: 24615
A friend from India explained to me that her mother was the primary caregiver of her children as she focused on med school and now her medical career. She fully expected to retire and care for grandchildren when the time came.

Many American families used to work on this model with the grandparents helping to watch the kids while the mothers worked on the farm, worked in the family business, etc,

As the grandkids grew up, the grandparents stayed on until they passed away, often in their 60s or early 70s.

Now the kids are in daycare while the grandparents are off traveling in the RV or living at their Del Webb retirement community.

Folks are now living into their 90s, with many needing a substantial amount of care for years and years.

It's one thing to have Mama living with you when you are in your 40s. Quite another when you are 70 yourself. And while the grandkids may love their grandparents, if they've had limited interaction over the years they may not feel the obligation to care for them on a daily basis.
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Old 12-14-2018, 05:23 AM
 
38,179 posts, read 14,918,071 times
Reputation: 24615
I too think we are going to see more Golden Girls living arrangements.

There have been threads on this in the past with several posters adamantly against them. Which is fine. If you don't want to live with other people, no skin off my nose.

One group of older friends from Rotary got together, bought land, and built townhomes. Together they are able to afford yard work and maintenance as well as housekeepers. Eventually, they may need caregivers and they've thought about how to do that as well.

They look out for each other and while none are rich by any means, they made arrangements to live comfortable lives as long as possible without needing help from their children.

Perhaps more will do this.
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