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Old 12-14-2018, 06:02 AM
 
18,413 posts, read 20,164,805 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
Warning - paywall.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-lon...ne-11544541134

Here's a new article from the WSJ about "aging alone." What do you pin that on? Late in life divorce? Lack of support from children/not having children? Widowed? How do you plan for aging alone or do you not anticipate it?
Lots of people can’t be bothered so they put mom and dad in a nursing home where “they will get the help they need”. Basically be forgotten.
There is really no reason to be alone. Old doesn’t mean yoy can’t have a girlfriend or companionship.
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Old 12-14-2018, 06:11 AM
 
258 posts, read 118,805 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
It's a cultural thing. Somewhere around the last couple of generations, people in the U.S. stopped taking care of their elders and put them in nursing homes.
In many other parts of the world, elders even with their health problems live with family members and never see a nursing home, like they've done for thousands of years.
Until recent times women were mostly homemakers. Now they have careers so there is no one at home to care for the elderly and young children. At one time kids never saw daycare. Life in the USA has changed.
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Old 12-14-2018, 06:19 AM
 
258 posts, read 118,805 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrician4you View Post
Lots of people can’t be bothered so they put mom and dad in a nursing home where “they will get the help they need”. Basically be forgotten.
There is really no reason to be alone. Old doesn’t mean yoy can’t have a girlfriend or companionship.
Sometimes people can't make a friend or two where the live. I see it here where I live now. Other couples are married. Or most of the neighbors are much younger than they are and are still working. When older it's not always easy to meet people with similar interests.
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Old 12-14-2018, 06:44 AM
 
258 posts, read 118,805 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
My ex wanted me to spend every waking moment not at work with him. Even when it came to watching TV. We didn’t share the same interests in TV shows but he wanted me to be there sitting next to him while he watched his programs. That was just one of the stifling things about our marriage.
Holey moley, I never thought I would meet someone else married to such a man. For our son's sake I tried to endure in the same kind of marriage you had. After 10 years it was either I leave or lose my sanity. I left.....
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Old 12-14-2018, 07:15 AM
 
6,316 posts, read 5,055,910 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GotHereQuickAsICould View Post
I too think we are going to see more Golden Girls living arrangements.

There have been threads on this in the past with several posters adamantly against them. Which is fine. If you don't want to live with other people, no skin off my nose.

One group of older friends from Rotary got together, bought land, and built townhomes. Together they are able to afford yard work and maintenance as well as housekeepers. Eventually, they may need caregivers and they've thought about how to do that as well.

They look out for each other and while none are rich by any means, they made arrangements to live comfortable lives as long as possible without needing help from their children.

Perhaps more will do this.
yes. this is the arrangement I am looking into. I don't mind living with other people. Most don't bother me. I'm a social person. Grew up with lots of siblings. Lived in dorm style arrangements for years in uni and military.
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Old 12-14-2018, 07:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by E-Twist View Post
Being a quarter of a century younger than my DH, I expect to be alone at some point. I would like to hire live in companion/cook. However........
Instead of hiring a live-in some woman will happily do the cooking and cleaning and be a companion for a very small salary and free room and board. They too, being alone and poor, would be happy to have a home. Not all are low-lifes. Some are disabled and trying to survive on SSD. Others are retired but still in good health. You may want to look into something like that.
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Old 12-14-2018, 07:32 AM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
9,810 posts, read 5,484,484 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrician4you View Post
Lots of people can’t be bothered so they put mom and dad in a nursing home where “they will get the help they need”. Basically be forgotten.
There is really no reason to be alone. Old doesn’t mean yoy can’t have a girlfriend or companionship.
Companionship?


You mean like cats?
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Old 12-14-2018, 07:49 AM
 
258 posts, read 118,805 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Williepaws View Post
Dont people have a pile of books to read, hobbies to do, walks to take, housework that needs to be done, cat food to buy,bills to pay,etc etc etc? Who has time to feel lonely? Maybe the lonely person needs to find more to do. Get involved. Whether its in their community or with the NYT bestseller list- read them all. Get a library card. Learn to draw and paint. Find a senior walking grp. Take a course in world history or knitting. DO SOMETHING!
Your advice is good but doesn't apply to millions of us out here who do not live in cities or towns. Some of us are far from senior or community centers. Some are like myself, disabled and no long able to drive. We find ourselves unable to get around like before and with no bus or subway services. Finding people around our age also looking for new friends they have things in common with is another issue altogether. My husband and I have met many people since moving to FL but none with similar interests. Or he may have something in common with the man but the wife and I share no interests. Should he pass away before me I will be left with many acquaintances but no real friends. My son lives in NY, about 800 miles away. Should I be alone some day living in NYC is out of the question due to the cost of living there.
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Old 12-14-2018, 07:54 AM
 
258 posts, read 118,805 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
Loneliness is often about not feeling loved or not feeling appreciated or not feeling truly known by anyone or not feeling close to anyone. Or not being currently successful in fulfilling those needs. Not about activities.
I think she meant to get into such activities to meet other people. Many seniors can't get to those activities if they wanted to. They either don't exist where they live or there is no transportation to where they are. Seniors out here where I live would have to walk 8 miles to the nearest bus. Those who could afford it could call cabs....
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Old 12-14-2018, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Upstate NY
35,489 posts, read 10,509,275 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SportyandMisty View Post
Many of us do indeed subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, even in retirement. I do. I've had a subscription to the WSJ since I was 22 years old - 40 years.

If the article contents is something you are interested in, your public library will usually have a subscription.

Or the OP could have included some text in a block quote; many here do.
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