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Old 12-12-2018, 07:31 AM
Status: "Loving life, wife and job!" (set 10 days ago)
 
Location: USA
999 posts, read 385,711 times
Reputation: 2697

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The first guy mentioned is 66 and sits alone in his apartment. He's been married five times and divorced three times. Kind of makes me wonder what he expects to happen if he continues to sit alone in his apartment watching Gunsmoke reruns.

We've got one neighbor who is widowed. Luckily, she moved her to be closer to her daughter. My wife and I kind of adopted her and she eats with us at least twice a week. Her next-door-neighbor has alienated everyone in his life 'cause he's a grumpy ole cuss living on social security. We've had him over for Thanksgiving lunch but he declined this year. My wife took him a plate of food anyway and he was touched. We'll do the same at Christmas.

My wife is six years younger and should outlive me. She has no family in the US other than mine. My job is to insure that she has the money necessary to provide for herself and insure that she's in a situation where family or friends will be able and willing to step in when necessary. That may mean a return to Brazil at the proper time but she'll cross that bridge when the time comes. We joke... I tell her that I'll outlive her so she never has to be alone. She laughs..and then worries about me. We'll do all we can but why worry? Worry is a waste of imagination.
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Old 12-12-2018, 07:32 AM
 
1,090 posts, read 490,094 times
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Many seniors do not want to give up their homes and go to live with their children. See threads in Retirement/Caregiving forums for evidence of this.

Also, let's be honest, the burden of caring for elderly parents usually falls more heavily on women, who are now more likely to be in the workforce and don't have the time/resources (to the extent this may have been the case in the past) to be full-time unpaid caretakers.
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Old 12-12-2018, 07:33 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,581 posts, read 17,567,761 times
Reputation: 27672
Quote:
Originally Posted by SportyandMisty View Post
slight digression here - sorry - does insurance typically cover roof collapse from snow weight?
Yes, but given the few personnel there, it may very well be easier to have them WFH or move the functions to another facility.
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Old 12-12-2018, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Paranoid State
13,047 posts, read 10,439,740 times
Reputation: 15683
It seems to me there are two separate issues to consider. The article touches on both.

* Social isolation
* Lack of a support network to assist you when inevitable things pop up

Things in the latter category might include driving you to & from a surgery center when you have a scheduled outpatient procedure requiring sedation or anesthesia and you are not supposed to drive yourself home - say, a colonoscopy or arthroscopic surgery. Something much simpler: changing smoke detector batteries or light bulbs or air conditioning filters in the ceiling when you are no longer able to climb a ladder.

I've been told the local fire department will gladly change your smoke detector batteries for you so you don't have to get on a ladder. There is no charge. Nowadays, it is even better to just replace the entire smoke detector with a modern one that has a 10-year battery (note that smoke detectors themselves must be change about every 8-9 years because the radioactive isotope inside decays to the point where it no longer reliably detects smoke). These devices must be placed up high - on or near the ceiling - and fire departments would much rather send out a team to service/replace them (you purchase the parts) rather than have them fail and then hypothetically a fire goes undetected until it is too late.

Nearby is a 55+ community of modest low-end single family homes. They have an organization called Neighbors Assisting Neighbors; I volunteer through this organization to do simple things such as changing light bulbs & HVAC filters (need to be on a step ladder for both), periodic flushing of the tank-style water heater, maybe replacing a flapper inside the toilet tank, maybe replacing the RO filter under the kitchen sink, etc. The HOA has a shuttle van to take residents the 5-ish miles down the hill to grocery stores, Trader Joe's, a Target, a Walmart, Sam's Club, Home Depot, banks, veterinary offices, hair salons, and the like. Most of the residents are still able to drive, but there are some who prefer the van (especially transplants from places such as Manhattan). Some aging women ask that I take their car for repairs because they believe auto repair shops will take advantage of an aging widow more so than a man.
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Old 12-12-2018, 07:41 AM
 
Location: Yavapai County
746 posts, read 482,783 times
Reputation: 928
Quote:
Originally Posted by SportyandMisty View Post
If the article contents is something you are interested in, your public library will usually have a subscription.
Yes! Most of your libraries also have databases that allow you to read articles from many popular publications right from your own home (assuming you have internet access).
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Old 12-12-2018, 07:43 AM
 
6,316 posts, read 5,055,910 times
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and there is nothing wrong with it. Some people just want to be left alone!
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Old 12-12-2018, 07:50 AM
 
2,099 posts, read 715,328 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
It's a cultural thing. Somewhere around the last couple of generations, people in the U.S. stopped taking care of their elders and put them in nursing homes.
In many other parts of the world, elders even with their health problems live with family members and never see a nursing home, like they've done for thousands of years.
Read the Caregiving Discussions. DS told me years ago that he'd take me in when I got too old and frail to live alone- but he was unmarried at the time. I loved his intentions but would never want him or DDIL to feel they had to take me in because I had no other decent options. If I'm senile, incontinent, belligerent, or just stubborn about trying to walk on my own when I have a balance problem and keep ending up on the floor- I want to be in a place where people can take care of me and go home at the end of their shift. Many caregivers end up with PTSD. Others have to give up jobs and have virtually no life because the elder needs to be watched 24/7.

I'm 65 and in excellent health- partly luck, partly healthy living. Even now there are things I won't do alone- anything on a very high ladder, for example, because there's no one to call 911 if I fall. I can deal with that- I love my independence and my beautiful, peaceful house. When I can't live here anymore, I plan to find a retirement community near DS and DDIL (they live 3 hours away) so they can look in on me but don't have to be fully responsible for me.
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Old 12-12-2018, 07:53 AM
 
Location: Paranoid State
13,047 posts, read 10,439,740 times
Reputation: 15683
Quote:
Originally Posted by IndyDancer View Post
Many seniors do not want to give up their homes and go to live with their children. See threads in Retirement/Caregiving forums for evidence of this.

Also, let's be honest, the burden of caring for elderly parents usually falls more heavily on women, who are now more likely to be in the workforce and don't have the time/resources (to the extent this may have been the case in the past) to be full-time unpaid caretakers.
Maybe yes, maybe no. By the time parents go from "senior" to "elderly," children may have crossed the threshold from working into retirement.
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Old 12-12-2018, 07:57 AM
 
Location: Planet Woof
3,139 posts, read 3,508,503 times
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"Alone" and "lonely" are two differing things. I saw a lot of different scenarios in all the years that I worked in home health care with older adults. I also see it around me now. I don't think that conclusions or generalizations are easily made.

Transient culture, childless or not, living longer or not, less sociable in phone or in person due to social media/internet shopping or working, whatever. Not sure.

People don't get out as much as in my generation (age 63). I do observe that. I don't see people outside in their yards doing yard work or washing their cars. Few children playing outside. Not as many in parks or on bike trails. Even not shopping as much. I attribute much of this to the internet based culture now.

On another side, I know seniors with kids and grandkids in the same area who never see them. I know some with kids across the country who talk to them daily on the phone or on video.

Due to owning dogs and walking them i do encounter other dog owners where I live otherwise i would see no one here.

A few years ago I lived in a very rural area on a 4 mile road. Everyone knew each other! Once a year there was a "road picnic". Someone got sick, some checked on them or made sure they had groceries. Neighbors visited each other and sat out on the steps and had coffee and talked. I miss that sense of community and I hope to return there at some point if at all possible.

I believe that this valuing of neighborliness and interpersonal contact is dwindling in our culture in a lot of places. In Great Britain there is now a Ministry of Loneliness. Sad but hopefully helpful. They recognized an epidemic of sadness and sought to alleviate it.

I try to be friendly and speak to people in my daily involvements with them. But I notice that everyone always seems in such a hurry, even out walking a dog or shopping inthe grocery. I don't see the point to most of it. Whatever happened to simple human interaction as valuable and necessary to healthy living? Loneliness will only get worse if people don't reach out to each other on a daily basis. Sometimes just a smile can make a person's day brighter.
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Old 12-12-2018, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,238 posts, read 8,527,906 times
Reputation: 35672
Quote:
Originally Posted by SportyandMisty View Post
Maybe yes, maybe no. By the time parents go from "senior" to "elderly," children may have crossed the threshold from working into retirement.
Aaaahhh...I guess you're still technically retired if you are doing unpaid caregiving of a family member - good to know!
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