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Old 12-18-2018, 08:16 AM
 
6,504 posts, read 4,082,513 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BugsyPal View Post
I'll tell you something else no one wants to seriously discuss. Who is going to provide care for all these "alone" seniors, especially if they choose or whatever to age in place.
Many of them are going to eventually realize that they can no longer stay "in place," or someone else (a neighbor?) will realize it, and they will move to ALF or nursing homes. "Age in place" sounds great and is what everyone wants, but honestly is a pipe dream for most people if they get old enough.
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Old 12-18-2018, 08:20 AM
 
11,134 posts, read 8,544,282 times
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Originally Posted by saibot View Post
Many of them are going to eventually realize that they can no longer stay "in place," or someone else (a neighbor?) will realize it, and they will move to ALF or nursing homes. "Age in place" sounds great and is what everyone wants, but honestly is a pipe dream for most people if they get old enough.
What's the problem with this? Stay in your home as long as you can. When you need help and can't live alone, move to a facility. Makes logical sense.
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Old 12-18-2018, 08:34 AM
 
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Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
What's the problem with this? Stay in your home as long as you can. When you need help and can't live alone, move to a facility. Makes logical sense.
Of course. I was responding to the poster who was concerned about who will care for the old people who "choose" to stay alone, in their own homes. And my response was that though when they're 50 or 60 or 70 they may say they're going to stay in their homes forever ("age in place"), for most of them something's eventually going to give and they will "choose" to move.

My dad lived alone in a walk-up apartment until he was 87. My grandmother, until 88. Neither one wanted to give up their independence, but they both realized they needed more care and had to move.
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Old 12-18-2018, 08:41 AM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
9,810 posts, read 5,486,486 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
What's the problem with this? Stay in your home as long as you can. When you need help and can't live alone, move to a facility. Makes logical sense.

My Father always said that the only way my Mother's Mother would leave her house was in a pine box.


She darn near made it, dying after a stay in a hospital around 93.
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Old 12-18-2018, 09:05 AM
 
7,801 posts, read 4,391,333 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
Many of them are going to eventually realize that they can no longer stay "in place," or someone else (a neighbor?) will realize it, and they will move to ALF or nursing homes. "Age in place" sounds great and is what everyone wants, but honestly is a pipe dream for most people if they get old enough.
Or you can just reconcile yourself to staying where you are and managing alone for as long as you can and, when you can no longer manage, you die. We all die sometime anyway, and a death in a nursing home (where likely you won't get the care you need, either) probably won't be much of an improvement over one in your own living room!
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Old 12-18-2018, 09:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
Or you can just reconcile yourself to staying where you are and managing alone for as long as you can and, when you can no longer manage, you die. We all die sometime anyway, and a death in a nursing home (where likely you won't get the care you need, either) probably won't be much of an improvement over one in your own living room!
Except that's not how it works. When you can no longer manage, you sit in your own feces and lay in the bed until you develop bedsores, then you exist in agonizing pain until someone finds you with sores so deep they can see your bone. With one of our patients, the mailman called 911 when the mail hadn't been picked up for quite awhile. Then you get shipped to the hospital then a home. You can live for years after you can no longer walk or care for yourself.
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Old 12-18-2018, 10:02 AM
 
7,801 posts, read 4,391,333 times
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Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Except that's not how it works. When you can no longer manage, you sit in your own feces and lay in the bed until you develop bedsores, then you exist in agonizing pain until someone finds you with sores so deep they can see your bone. With one of our patients, the mailman called 911 when the mail hadn't been picked up for quite awhile. Then you get shipped to the hospital then a home. You can live for years after you can no longer walk or care for yourself.
Yes, I'm well aware of that, having been a family caregiver myself for many years. Still, we have options.
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Old 12-18-2018, 10:17 AM
 
11,134 posts, read 8,544,282 times
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Originally Posted by TamaraSavannah View Post
My Father always said that the only way my Mother's Mother would leave her house was in a pine box.


She darn near made it, dying after a stay in a hospital around 93.
I don't get the issue with nursing homes. There are some great facilities out there.
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Old 12-18-2018, 10:34 AM
 
20,581 posts, read 16,637,575 times
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Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
I don't get the issue with nursing homes. There are some great facilities out there.
I never understood my motherís reluctance to go to assisted living. She didnít love her home, the neighborhood declined big time to the point she wouldnít open her shades even in the daytime. Relatives and friends who had been in the area were long gone. The place was falling apart around her, and her kids and grandkids were 90 minutes away. I can only attribute it to fear of change.
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Old 12-18-2018, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Mammoth Lakes, CA
3,160 posts, read 6,943,288 times
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The old saying goes, "you live alone and you die alone." And many people even in their senior years, prefer to live alone or be alone. I don't know why people tend to demonize loners. Many of the happiest people I've known are loners who choose to live alone. I have never particularly been interested in people who cannot abide being alone. If you can't stand your own company, that strikes me as tremendously sad.
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