U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 12-12-2018, 06:58 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,445 posts, read 3,634,340 times
Reputation: 19466

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
Boomers have always been a generation that prized independence, so it's no surprise that this continues into retirement years. Many people live alone, but do they feel lonely? I don't know that I'd agree with that. I certainly know plenty of retirees on this forum and among my family and friends who live alone and are quite happy that way. .
Check out the "Elder Orphans" thread.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-12-2018, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Lake Oswego, Manhattan, Aspen
3,234 posts, read 4,205,374 times
Reputation: 11595
Quote:
Originally Posted by mschrief View Post
Hate those pay walls. They are everywhere.
WSJ has been involved in a lot of sedition, lately (along with the rest of Big Media). We don't give money to the MSM, if we can help it. That's one reason I get my news from City-Data. Clicks are income, and City-Data helps me avoid clicking on the sites of the Bad Guys.

As for why people are 'aging alone' more, now, there are three major factors. First, there are so many more elderly people than there used to be. Used to be, 'Daddy' would drop dead, about the time the kids went off to college. Now, he has a quadruple bypass, and gets to experience decades of feeling isolated and redundant, before being stuck in a care facility for year after miserable year.

Second, women work, now. Used to be, women, soon after being finished with raising the kids, devoted their middle age to caring for elderly relatives. Today, women work until we, ourselves, are elderly.

Third, people are scattered all over the place. Not just relatives, but the friends we've made along the way, move away and lose touch. And let's not forget that the boom in telemarketing scams, has ripped-apart the social fabric of our nation. People don't answer the phone, anymore. So, forget about ringing-up those old friends back home. They'll just see an unfamiliar number, and ignore the call.

Too, most of us grew up seeing family as those irritating people you saw when you weren't at school or doing homework. Most of the time, they were worthless when it came to homework, and told you to solve your social problems at school - YOURSELF. Protectors? Mneh! Your whole childhood was about school and grade-grubbing. You were trained to keep to yourself, to be quiet, to be out of the way. Most people were trained to think about nothing but grades and being "good" (and possibly, being Mommy's little princess Mini-me cheerleader, or Daddy's little second chance at ball-playin' glory: a second set of expectations when what you NEEDED was parental affection) Hanging-out with others, is really alien to most, because it goes against two solid decades of nonstop training in "focusing on goals" and "staying out of trouble".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-12-2018, 07:17 PM
 
698 posts, read 206,701 times
Reputation: 1338
Being alone and lonely are 2 different states of existence. You can be lonely in a crowd and you can be alone but never lonely. Different states of mind.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-12-2018, 07:25 PM
 
1,181 posts, read 350,933 times
Reputation: 3714
Being a quarter of a century younger than my DH, I expect to be alone at some point. I would like to hire live in companion/cook. However....... I don't think there are people that do that for a living anymore. And I would be suspicious that anyone applying for such a position was a criminal/drug user or an otherwise bad apple. I have a niece that could handle my financial affairs, but I would never expect her to be a caretaker. As much as I would like to age in place I will probably have to bite the bullet and go to assisted living in my old age.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-12-2018, 07:26 PM
 
25,971 posts, read 32,970,649 times
Reputation: 32158
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
Good grief. What's the big deal? I've been single and childless my entire life and I'm fine. I'll be fine when I retire.

Everyone should look to take care of their needs (including social) for when they retire. Is that not common sense?

I don't get these profiles of sad, pathetic elderly people. Take care of your health and finances the best way that you can. Take care of your social needs the best way you can.
My parents are still married, 87 and 92. Lots of health issues in their old age. Dad is frail, has no strength. Mom does not walk well, can get around holding onto things. I can't tell you how many times she has fallen, and has called a neighbor to come help her up. She fell and broke her leg last week.

They thought they would be fine when they retired, too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-12-2018, 07:29 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,553 posts, read 17,535,380 times
Reputation: 27586
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
My parents are still married, 87 and 92. Lots of health issues in their old age. Dad is frail, has no strength. Mom does not walk well, can get around holding onto things. I can't tell you how many times she has fallen, and has called a neighbor to come help her up. She fell and broke her leg last week.

They thought they would be fine when they retired, too.
They're very old.

When did they retire? How were they then? Most people don't make it to those ages - let alone in good health.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-12-2018, 07:49 PM
 
1,812 posts, read 1,136,829 times
Reputation: 2412
Too few children...1, too few grandchildren...1. Grandson got older..20, they all just lost interest as we got older. Now we reap what we have sown.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-12-2018, 07:54 PM
 
5,424 posts, read 3,442,945 times
Reputation: 13693
I wouldn't characterize the 'Elder Orphans' threads at all as being about lonely people.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-12-2018, 08:10 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,603 posts, read 4,680,291 times
Reputation: 27806
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
My parents are still married, 87 and 92. Lots of health issues in their old age. Dad is frail, has no strength. Mom does not walk well, can get around holding onto things. I can't tell you how many times she has fallen, and has called a neighbor to come help her up. She fell and broke her leg last week.

They thought they would be fine when they retired, too.

I think you and charlygal are talking about two different senior age tiers.

The three seniors profiled in the article are 66, 68 and 69. To coin a phrase, they are young seniors. Your parents are 87 and 92.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-12-2018, 08:18 PM
 
5,424 posts, read 3,442,945 times
Reputation: 13693
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post

My parents are still married, 87 and 92. Lots of health issues in their old age. Dad is frail, has no strength. Mom does not walk well, can get around holding onto things. I can't tell you how many times she has fallen, and has called a neighbor to come help her up. She fell and broke her leg last week.

They thought they would be fine when they retired, too.
But millions of adult children live nowhere even near where their parents are living....they live in other far-flung states and places. So adult children do not drop over for such occurrences as you cite above. Such occurrences are handled in other ways.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top