WSJ: "More than ever, Americans are aging alone." (Canada, 2015)
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The old saying goes, "you live alone and you die alone." And many people even in their senior years, prefer to live alone or be alone. I don't know why people tend to demonize loners. Many of the happiest people I've known are loners who choose to live alone. I have never particularly been interested in people who cannot abide being alone. If you can't stand your own company, that strikes me as tremendously sad.
With the elderly it’s more about needing care. I’m a loner, but I know there will come a day when I need help. This isn’t at all about judging anyone’s preferences. My mom was a loner too, but her remaining alone was dependent on me driving 90 minutes whenever she needed a light bulb changed or ran out of bread. So now she’s in assisted living, not because I judged her but because it affected me and she wasn’t safe alone.
With the elderly it’s more about needing care. I’m a loner, but I know there will come a day when I need help. This isn’t at all about judging anyone’s preferences. My mom was a loner too, but her remaining alone was dependent on me driving 90 minutes whenever she needed a light bulb changed or ran out of bread. So now she’s in assisted living, not because I judged her but because it affected me and she wasn’t safe alone.
I agree. When I get older I plan to move near DS and DDIL (3 hours away) but there's no way I want to rely on them for all the little things I won't be able to do myself. They've got their own lives. I'll find a good Assisted Living facility. My Dad, age 87, lives in one near one of my brothers and it's working well. They (DB and DSIL) are there for him and see him often but they're not responsible for his every need.
I never use the terms 'nursing home' and 'assisted living dwelling/apartment/room' interchangeably.
To me they are often very different types of facilities.
Assisted Living dwellings/apartments/rooms are often high-end - and out of reach financially for the majority of seniors.
Nursing homes include very low-end unappealing places.
"Fewer than 14 percent of Americans 75 and older occupy some form of senior housing today. Three-quarters of those over 50 say they would prefer not to move at all. And untold numbers of seniors who might need or want to enter an age-restricted or assisted-living community won’t be able to afford to do so; 30 percent of those 65 and older have an annual income below $23,000....."
I never use the terms 'nursing home' and 'assisted living dwelling/apartment/room' interchangeably.
To me they are often very different types of facilities.
Assisted Living dwellings/apartments/rooms are often high-end - and out of reach financially for the majority of seniors.
Nursing homes include very low-end unappealing places.
"Fewer than 14 percent of Americans 75 and older occupy some form of senior housing today. Three-quarters of those over 50 say they would prefer not to move at all. And untold numbers of seniors who might need or want to enter an age-restricted or assisted-living community won’t be able to afford to do so; 30 percent of those 65 and older have an annual income below $23,000....."
Thank you for clarifying. I see many people here use "assisted living" and "nursing homes" interchangeably. I always thought they were quite different. When I was a kid, I'm pretty sure what we are calling nursing homes now were called convalescent homes. It was one of those places you entered because you had to, but never left.
Thank you for clarifying. I see many people here use "assisted living" and "nursing homes" interchangeably. I always thought they were quite different. When I was a kid, I'm pretty sure what we are calling nursing homes now were called convalescent homes. It was one of those places you entered because you had to, but never left.
For all the people that don't want to end up in a nursing home, do you have any issues with living is an assisted living place?
For all the people that don't want to end up in a nursing home, do you have any issues with living is an assisted living place?
Assisted living is a senior apartment that promises much but usually delivers little. It's wildly expensive and not covered by insurance. You can usually live in subsidized housing (or even just a regular apartment or house) and cobble together available services for much less with better results.
My father moved into an assisted living facility last year. He had a beautiful studio apartment with his own furniture. Meals were in the dining room, with tablecloths, cloth napkins, and menus. A nurse took care of his meds.
Because he needed more help than typically provided in assisted living, but not enough for a nursing home, aides came in to help him shower, make his bed, and clean the apartment. He had congestive heart failure and was on palliative care; therefore, Medicare paid for the aide that gave him a shower, a nurse that would check him regularly, and therapy.
Not cheap, but he had enough money from the sale of his house to cover several years of assisted living or two to three years of nursing. After falling a couple of times this summer, he was moved to the nursing wing. He passed away in Sepy. Two weeks before he died, he volunteered to me that he was happy. Indeed, he would joke around with everyone, and I actually heard him laugh for the first time in years!
Although nothing is perfect, the place was nice, the employees were hard-working and caring, and the facility worked to make sure the residents were as active and independent as possible.
Not all assisted living or nursing facilities are bad.
I never use the terms 'nursing home' and 'assisted living dwelling/apartment/room' interchangeably.
To me they are often very different types of facilities.
Assisted Living dwellings/apartments/rooms are often high-end - and out of reach financially for the majority of seniors.
Nursing homes include very low-end unappealing places.
"Fewer than 14 percent of Americans 75 and older occupy some form of senior housing today. Three-quarters of those over 50 say they would prefer not to move at all. And untold numbers of seniors who might need or want to enter an age-restricted or assisted-living community won’t be able to afford to do so; 30 percent of those 65 and older have an annual income below $23,000....."
If you have any savings at all there are assisted living facilities that will accept you though. My mom had enough to pay privately for 2 years, now she is there on Medicaid. Her facility requires 18 months of private pay then you can stay on Medicaid. She was supposed to share an apartment once she transitioned to Caid, but it’s been 3 years since my mom did and so far no one has said anything. Her income is just under $20,000. The ALF I work in now takes a lot of Medicaid residents.
There are County low income assisted living facilities as well, you just have to think ahead as the waiting lists are a couple years long (as is the case with low income senior apartments).
There are nice nursing homes too, most are not low end and in fact much more expensive than assisted living. Poorer areas generally have more run down homes, wealthier areas have more expensive homes.
Assisted living is a senior apartment that promises much but usually delivers little. It's wildly expensive and not covered by insurance. You can usually live in subsidized housing (or even just a regular apartment or house) and cobble together available services for much less with better results.
My mom couldn’t live alone anymore and there was no way to afford 24 hour home services.
Last edited by ocnjgirl; 12-18-2018 at 03:42 PM..
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