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Such topics arise frequently. But isn't death the quintessential thing for which it's impossible to plan? Sure, it's tempting to be Armchair Stoic, pronouncing this or that emergency-plan, some remedy to solve Hamlet's dilemma, Brutus falling on his sword, Socrates drinking hemlock, etc., etc. Who realistically as such fortitude?
A close relative of mine died from pancreatic cancer. Said relative was in admirably good health, before the coming of disease. 33 months and ghastly debilitation (from "treatment", as well as the disease), said relative finally died... at home, in bed. Sure, Hospice helps, and they have pain-killers (of uncertain efficacy). But becoming bedridden, incontinent, delirious, exhausted... a process of many weeks, not days, let alone hours... not pleasant.
Birth and death are both in pain. How ought we to justify what's intervening?
Planning for old age is one thing; planning one's death is another.
Every year the day of my birth comes around. Every year, that other day comes around, too, but I don't know what it is. I don't want to know, and I don't think I'm supposed to know.
Good tip on the argon. I'm always on the lookout for something like that. If stuff like this was better known, people could make their own informed choices. BUT, you'd have to "go" together, or wouldn't the surviving spouse be held liable/complicit?
No more long-range plans. I'll plant a garden but not a tree, LOL (age 63). Thinking to take trips that require agile mobility sooner rather than later.
Hmm. I am 63, and I will be planting lots of trees next fall.
Years ago, my dad told me he was not making some plans because he wouldn't live long enough for them to play out. Now that I'm moving into my last active decade, I see what he meant. I don't plan for 20 years in the future any more, because I will probably be dead.
One of the plans I have made is to age in place. If things work out, they will haul me out of here with a sheet over my face. With that in mind, we have remodeled one bathroom to be handicapped accessible, refinished interior and exterior with materials that won't need maintenance during our lifetimes, and bought a king sized bed that doubles as an invalid bed, with raising head and foot. We can hire a CNA, or even near full time home care, cheaper than assisted living, much less a skilled nursing facility. Just this morning my wife and I were discussing the possibility of plumbing our house for medical oxygen, so the noisy oxygen concentrator could be in the garage, far from the master bedroom. All it would take is some tubing and connectors.
We don't need any of that stuff right now, and may never need it. It's sort of a situational savings account, setting the house up for our inevitable debilitation and death. And that's the optimistic scenario, peacefully drifting off to the end.
[mod cut - instructions on suicide]
My state has physician assisted suicide, which requires jumping through several hoops. Even if you follow instructions, most hospitals here are run by the Catholic Church, and any doctor who participates in assisted suicide can lose his hospital privileges. They have this fixation with it greasing your skids into Hell. It's better to avoid the religious bureaucracy. It's easy enough to say your last Good Night on your own terms.
Some people are very lucky. My mother's best friend died between one tick of the clock and the next. They found her on the back porch with her boot laces still in her hands. A quick heart attack, massive stroke, or aneurism and you are gone. Unfortunately, you can't plan for that. My dad hoped for a heart attack, but he died of lung cancer. It took agonizing months. My mother just refused to have the battery in her pacemaker replaced, which was a gentler and more graceful way to go.
I see a lot of people here planning and worrying about retirement. Do you ever plan and worry for when retirement inevitably ends?
Have you told other people what those plans are?
I don't "plan" to die any particular way. When my time comes, I accept that. I don't want to suffer or linger if there is no hope for me in a terminal illness. Who does?
If it came to suicide, for whatever reason, I have thought of how I would do it and where.
I am not afraid of death. I have more friends and family, including my spouse, on the other side now than here. Que sera.
Last edited by VTsnowbird; 03-07-2019 at 11:50 AM..
Or maybe doing something the world deems as heroic
Likely die of a heart attack but maybe cancer or a stroke
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