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Old 01-10-2019, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,775 posts, read 11,857,543 times
Reputation: 11485

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveinMtAiry View Post
Yeah if I die I doubt my wife will bother to notify anyone on my message boards. So if I disappear you know what happened. Or maybe I just found a better crowd to hang with.

If I disappeared permanently nobody would know why either. Mostly because nobody I know is at all interested in my 'online life', has no idea where I post, etc. so wouldn't even think about it.
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Old 01-10-2019, 06:31 PM
 
8,238 posts, read 6,539,002 times
Reputation: 23135
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat View Post

If I disappeared permanently nobody would know why either. Mostly because nobody I know is at all interested in my 'online life', has no idea where I post, etc. so wouldn't even think about it.
Good point.

What is also true is that a person's online persona and expressed personality online can be very different from or not representative of one's actual behavior, character, and personality in real life. I would never think I actually really know a person who posts online just from their online postings and online persona. No one knows what is really going on in someone's life just from one's online persona and postings. A person can say anything online to represent themselves one way or another.

Last edited by matisse12; 01-10-2019 at 07:11 PM..
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Old 01-10-2019, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,775 posts, read 11,857,543 times
Reputation: 11485
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
Good point.

What is also true is that a person's online persona and expressed personality online can be very different from or not representative of one's actual behavior, character, and personality in real life. I would never think I actually really know a person who posts online just from their online postings and online persona. No one knows what is really going on in someone's life just from one's online persona and postings. A person can say anything online to try to represent themselves one way or another.

I can honestly say that, with me, "what you see is what you get". I am the same online as offline. I have neither the want to or reason to be otherwise. Over my 20 years online, and participating in forums like this, I've had opportunity to meet at least a dozen people. Every one of them were exactly as they presented themselves online. I never took for granted that they would be but was pleasantly surprised when they were. I've met a few from CD as well and had good experiences with all of them. You are right though. There are people out there just like you describe. Luckily I haven't met them.
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Old 01-10-2019, 06:52 PM
 
8,238 posts, read 6,539,002 times
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I don't think you can tell what is really going on in a person's life from one meeting (or more) nor know what their behavior in life actually is from one meeting. But I appreciate your points.
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Old 01-10-2019, 07:15 PM
 
13 posts, read 23,817 times
Reputation: 198
Matisse12,

True, probably a certain percentage of the population has a propensity to present themselves differently (maybe drastically differently) online than they are in real life--for whatever motivation, insecurity, or personal need they may have.

If the reader/recipient of that experience is fooled, embarrassed, or deeply hurt by that, that is regretful because it can impact their trust in others more generally.

Trust lost is hard to regain and makes one wary, cautious, and guarded. A sad and understandable result.
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Old 01-10-2019, 07:38 PM
 
Location: planet earth
8,620 posts, read 5,596,577 times
Reputation: 19638
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mircea View Post
I've seen a number of people go in the more than 10 years I've been here, and I've never seen that to be the case.

City-Data is not omniscient, and thus not aware of the death of every forum member.

In those instances where family members or forum members have started a thread about a forum member's death, there has always been acknowledgement.
You seem to have missed my point, completely.
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Old 01-10-2019, 08:59 PM
 
Location: TN/NC
34,850 posts, read 30,936,012 times
Reputation: 47184
Part of the reason I post on C-D is to get my thoughts and ideas out there, while remaining relatively anonymous, as well as general conversation.

There are probably ten to fifteen people on the retirement board that know my relatively common first name. I've exchanged PMs with a lot of folks over the years. I've met several posters who are local to me, but we aren't personal friends. I've met some more distant posters (mostly from Knoxville or in cities I commonly travel to), and have added a few retirement board people to my Facebook.

If something happened to me, I'd want the retirement and local boards to know. There are a handful of people that have access to my Facebook that would know I'm dead. Whether or not that gets disseminated, I wouldn't know.

As far as life expectancy, I get that when you're in your 60s, you're starting to see friends and such die off. I'm 32. I graduated with a class of 300 people in high school, and a little over 10% of those are already dead.

Think about the expected life expectancy of someone who is reasonably healthy and already 60. The odds are quite good they'll live to 70. 80 is not uncommon now. Many people are vigorous and healthy into their 70s. People need to look actuarial tables, not one-off anecdotes in their personal lives.
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Old 01-10-2019, 09:02 PM
 
Location: TN/NC
34,850 posts, read 30,936,012 times
Reputation: 47184
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
Good point.

What is also true is that a person's online persona and expressed personality online can be very different from or not representative of one's actual behavior, character, and personality in real life. I would never think I actually really know a person who posts online just from their online postings and online persona. No one knows what is really going on in someone's life just from one's online persona and postings. A person can say anything online to represent themselves one way or another.
I don't think that very many people are complete chameleons.

C-D posters get an "unfiltered" version of me. At work, I really have to be careful with what I say. I'm naturally opinionated and can be divisive. I have a much more polished version of myself at work. What I post on C-D is far more indicative of what I'm actually thinking about than what you'd get out of me in most real life situations if I didn't know you well.
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Old 01-10-2019, 09:05 PM
 
Location: Redwood City, CA
15,242 posts, read 12,834,835 times
Reputation: 54012
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
You seem to have missed my point, completely.

Or she got it and chose to ignore the snark.
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Old 01-10-2019, 09:14 PM
 
8,238 posts, read 6,539,002 times
Reputation: 23135
Quote:
Originally Posted by clearbrook View Post

Matisse12,

True, probably a certain percentage of the population has a propensity to present themselves differently (maybe drastically differently) online than they are in real life--for whatever motivation, insecurity, or personal need they may have.

If the reader/recipient of that experience is fooled, embarrassed, or deeply hurt by that, that is regretful because it can impact their trust in others more generally.

Trust lost is hard to regain and makes one wary, cautious, and guarded. A sad and understandable result.
Since you addressed me, it seems that maybe you're trying to state a synopsis of what you think I may be thinking - but what you state in the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs above is NOT what I am thinking - it does not apply to me -

you can speak for yourself if anything applies to you, but you do not speak for me. You and I are on different wave lengths in posts of yours I've seen. (and there is nothing wrong with that)
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