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It’s been busy for my husband and I. Just one thing after another to fix, but we take our time to fix them. But there’s lots more to do. We’re wondering how did we manage to work in the past.
But I like doing things, we do enjoy our retirement life, but it does feel like the list of things to do is very long.
I think that is a mindset issue, and it's all in how you look at it.
Let's take gardening as an example. You can either think "Oh gawd, I need to pull weeds and trim, and that sucks I want to go hiking, I hate chores!" or "The yard needs attention, and it will be nice to be out in nature and the sunlight, and the yard will look so nice when it's done."
Or, if something is something you hate, hire someone or arrange your life to remove it. Like moving from a house to a condo.
I don't think you could ever remove everything. And then there are things like illnesses which can really jam you up.
OMG, I could have written SO many of the foregoing posts!
I too often think back and say "How in the world did I ever manage to juggle X, Y, and Z (along with A, B and C!) when I was in my 30s and 40s?" Part of the answer is "because I was in my 30s and 40s", lol, but the other part is "because I had to." I had to go to work five days a week and I had to take care of the house and I had to go shopping during non-work hours and I had to participate in a social life as a couple, etc etc etc. And now either I don't have to do some of those things at all or I can do them whenever I want (or don't want.) There is no external force -- in most instances -- dictating when I must do 95% of the things that I need to/should do. But somehow those same things have taken on the guise of annoyances even though they are less so now than they were before. It's weird.
Another factor is that I have been a procrastinator by nature all my life. In my pre-retirement years I had much less scope for doing that, but now my entire life is one huge Potential Procrastination Party, lol. I can put off a slightly-annoying chore for more than a week without even batting an eye.
I have gotten better at trying to stop myself from grousing about my First World Retiree Problems lately, though. I do think that after we are no longer working our focus and priorities shift and things that were small in the overall scheme of our daily lives back then, seem to loom larger because our main focus/priority (our job) has disappeared. As if the main character in a play dies at the end of Act Two and suddenly all the minor characters now get way more lines and on-stage time during Acts Three and Four.
Last edited by BBCjunkie; 01-27-2019 at 10:22 AM..
I have gotten better at trying to stop myself from grousing about my First World Retiree Problems lately, though. I do think that after we are no longer working our focus and priorities shift and things that were small in the overall scheme of our daily lives back then, seem to loom larger because our main focus/priority (our job) has disappeared. As if the main character in a play dies at the end of Act Two and suddenly all the minor characters now get way more lines and on-stage time during Acts Three and Four.
Nicely said! That's what would have posted, if I had the ability to write as well as you do.
This might turn out to be a bit of a ramble, but I have the (First World) "problem" of not having enough to challenge me.
All my life from the time I was about 14 or so, it was one problem and major worry after another, either family or financial, and usually both. Now that I am a mostly retired senior, and both the family and financial worries are almost entirely gone; and I find that I am uncomfortable with having everything okay (for now, anyway). No, my life is NOT perfect, but it is 90% good, and that is quite a big adjustment after having most of my life be about 60% bad (or at least very worrisome and challenging).
Don't misunderstand this -- I am certainly not complaining, but it just seems wrong to me, as in 'not right', and it makes me feel unsettled. I know that this could change at any time, but right now it is like life is almost too easy for us, and I feel like I am being lazy in life and don't really deserve to have it as well as I do, compared to many seniors who are still struggling and/or have major health problems in their lives. I guess I just feel guilty because I have it good when so many others do not.
Well, as I said, definitely a First World "problem"!
I hope you come to terms with your happiness! Maybe work on affirmations that you deserve good things!
The expression I think of is, "It's either feast or famine." Too much or too little. I've thought often about how important it is for the health of the planet, of organizations, of humans to find a place of balance and how difficult it seems for humans to be able to do that.
In my forties I often had a mental picture of my life as a person who got up every morning and carried a washtub load of problems into a room full of boxes, wrapping paper, ribbons and bows. And there I spent the day finding the right box, the perfect paper, the attractive ribbon until I had everything all wrapped up in neat and pretty packages. The next morning I'd discover that someone had been busy in the night peeking under the paper, maybe even unwrapping a few of them. And once in a while there was a big monster sitting at the edge of the bed who kept me so busy I didn't even have a chance to get into the wrapping room.
It feels like those days are over for me. I feel like my most important life tasks have been accomplished for better or worse. I'm not resting on my laurels but it does feel, like some of you, I have extra time to play and making the transition from a doggedly dutiful and driven life to a more playful mindset required a change of thinking for me.
Here are a few things I've learned, with a little tongue in cheek:
*Half the things I feel responsible for are not my problem
*The less I fool around with something the more room I give it to naturally resolve itself.
*If I leave it long enough I forget about it
Two things I want - loving kindness and fun. I can make a lot of that happen by myself. Natural Law will take care of the balancing act I'm sure.
Don't misunderstand this -- I am certainly not complaining, but it just seems wrong to me, as in 'not right', and it makes me feel unsettled. I know that this could change at any time, but right now it is like life is almost too easy for us, and I feel like I am being lazy in life and don't really deserve to have it as well as I do, compared to many seniors who are still struggling and/or have major health problems in their lives. I guess I just feel guilty because I have it good when so many others do not.
Well, as I said, definitely a First World "problem"!
I totally understand what you are saying, but just remind yourself that you are not "using up" the world's supply of happiness.
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I just figured out that in life, for human beings (as opposed to dogs, for instance) - there are always problems and obstacles that crop up that you must deal with.
I think that some people have fewer problems than others, but I'm not really sure.
Anyway, given that there are always *things* to deal with, problems to solve, and stuff to take care of, when you are really elderly, this must really play on you if you can't handle it.
I'm already getting sick of constant stuff to deal with and I'm in my late sixties.
I just realized I have developed an entitlement mentality, where I want the next decade to be "fun."
I don't want to deal with any serious problems!
I think this is a grown-up version of "life isn't fair," but after awhile, it gets ridiculous to have to keep dealing with problems.
I guess this was kind of a rant - can you relate or do you either have no problems or feel differently about the subject?
I'm your age and I totally relate. I want to put all that stress behind me. I am just so very tired. I used to just "jump right on to that" and deal with it. I no longer have any energy or joy for the uphill. I had a life full of it already.
I just figured out that in life, for human beings (as opposed to dogs, for instance) - there are always problems and obstacles that crop up that you must deal with.
I think that some people have fewer problems than others, but I'm not really sure.
Anyway, given that there are always *things* to deal with, problems to solve, and stuff to take care of, when you are really elderly, this must really play on you if you can't handle it.
I'm already getting sick of constant stuff to deal with and I'm in my late sixties.
I just realized I have developed an entitlement mentality, where I want the next decade to be "fun."
I don't want to deal with any serious problems!
I think this is a grown-up version of "life isn't fair," but after awhile, it gets ridiculous to have to keep dealing with problems.
I guess this was kind of a rant - can you relate or do you either have no problems or feel differently about the subject?
I look at it as all part of life. You deal with the issues that come up as you can, and you move on. I might not be thrilled at the latest and greatest set of issues that present themselves, but I learned long ago that we can't always choose our burdens, but we can choose how we handle them.
One's attitude has a very large part in this. An entitlement attitude will never result in anything but frustration, as I see it.
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