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The vast majority of my Facebook friends post only positive things, or little to nothing at all. I’m only seeing vacation pics, baby pics, how wonderful life is, and occasionally politics. I hardly ever see anything negative about a personal life.
I use this as an example. I hike a lot. I got a DUI two years ago. I posted that day’s hiking pictures, but I didn’t post that I got a DUI that night after I bonded out. People generally only post the positive on social media. It has your real name tied to it and you generally add people you personally know.
These boards are as anonymous as you want them to be. I’m much more willing to be frank, and that includes negativity, because I’m anonymous.
It all depends on your world and your friends on Facebook. Will be very different for all of us as our worlds are different. Most of the people I know were and still are affluent. Their kids went to good schools and for the most part very successful. A few divorces yes but their lives are now good.
Just like finances and the many different reactions on here based on our personal lives and those of our friends and neighbors. If you live in a high COLA area within a high COLA neighborhood that tends to be your world. If you have a pension the odds are those you work with do. You know which of your friends and neighbors do if for no other reason than their employers. Ten plus years in retirement many of those we know are and just what they are doing with their lives says a lot. Lots of two homes lots of retirement communities and lots of travel.
Might also be that the retirement demographic is changing. Early boomers are what, early/mid 70s now? And now the late boomers and oldest X'ers (like me) are hitting retirement. Something that may be different is early boomers and late boomers/X'ers experienced very different worlds growing up and working. So they are retiring with somewhat different economic circumstances.
It's interesting looking at my in-laws, who though technically were just slightly pre-boomers, have all the characteristics of the early boomer generation. Then comparing both to my parents, who were solidly greatest generation, and to late boomers/X'ers. One of the interesting things is if you lay out their life milestones on a timeline, that group pretty much hit every economic positive trend at the right time in their lives to maximize retirement. And their retirement is typical -- vacations, seeing the world, volunteering. In contrast other groups hit at much lower times. An example being millennials. While they are a long way from retirement, many graduated college just as the economic crash hit. They were behind the 8 Ball from the start.
My point is the economic demographics of retirement are starting to change as the late boomers/early X'ers hit retirement. They may not have the opportunities to live that same lifestyle.
I 'get it' that lack of money may a driving force for humble posts, but I would personally submit that mindset is more of an issue. Volunteering doesn't have to cost much. Neither do vacations unless it is about seeing the world. The USA is absolutely filled to the brim with low cost joy. I find it every day when I go outside for a hike.
Fact is I am not affluent by most means- but am really, really happy with life now. I don't fly to exotic destinations, but that is OK; in fact, I like to hear from people who do. I wish they would have long posts about their trips. I love posts from people who like to play instruments, have parties, go on hikes, photograph critters and get chased by bears, drop their phones in the toilet, eventually find their keys in the refrigerator...
There is absolutely nothing wrong with posts about challenges of changing light bulbs, but when that is the most exciting post for the day...woof. I just shiver.
maybe it's because every time someone posts on c-d about how well they're doing in retirement they get jumped on for "bragging". And then the "woe is me" posters take over the thread with their downer replies and try to make the happy posters feel like crap for enjoying their retirement that they worked, saved, and planned for while others can't.
Don't jump on me, i know not everyone is doing well financially or physically in retirement. For those folks that aren't, i do have feelings of sympathy and sadness. I wish i could change it so everyone is safe, secure and happy, but life doesn't work like that.
There are quite a few happily retired boomer posters on this forum, but we've started keeping it to ourselves.
Even for travel, you don’t have to pay to go to a New Zealand, my husband refused to go, he said we have many natural wonders here in USA and Canada. It’s just not hip for the younger crowd like my kids to say they went to Canada vs they went to New Zealand.
Five years ago, I could still swim a mile nonstop, or drive long distances safely in strange territory, held a physical job in a fast-pace warehouse, and all this despite a spinal deformity that had mixed things up since I was ten -- but didn't stop me. And I looked forward to a slightly-delayed retirement as the time to do those things I'd passed up on the too-short vacation trips I spent just "exploring".
Then Mother Nature started throwing curve balls.
Nobody had told me that my corrective spinal fusion didn't have a lifetime guarantee. It started with trouble descending, rather than climbing stairs, then affected my balance; the X-rays showed the fused portion as holding up just fine, but the part at either end was turning into a corkscrew. An unexplained deterioration in my ability to drive, not to mention the 5-mile walks I used to take, has proved to be the hardest piece of the puzzle to deal with.
And I'm well aware that Mother Nature might have a few more nasty suprises in her bag of tricks.
But it's up to each one of us to learn to adapt; I try to listen to my PT counselor, started swimming more often, learned to make the use of Senior Paratransit; and am shopping for a used bicycle as soon as the weather breaks. And I'm looking for an opportunity as a volunteer to capitalize (love that word -- capitalism ) and pass on some of what I've had to learn; maybe find a role to play well into retirement.
Life is only what you make of it.
Last edited by 2nd trick op; 02-03-2019 at 11:18 AM..
As I've written here before, I worked for a large corporation in Syracuse, NY. Started there in 1960 at age 18. I along with several others were recruited by the corporation to come work for them. At that time the corporation employed 7,000 people, many in the factory buildings and many in office positions. During the early years, it was a wonderful place to work. So many privileges, so many benefits. None of us thinking it would all change in a few years. In the early 1980s many retirees were given the "golden handshake". Wonderful retirement packages. And in late 1980s/early 1990s along came the "take-over." "We" were taken over by a much larger corporation who promised no layoffs, no moving production out of Syracuse, NY. The chairman of the board (the corporation I worked for) came around telling everyone that "we" were going to stop those "basturds."
Turned out "they" got "us" and the dismantling began. Downsizing was rampant, office people were given 15 minutes to pack up their personal items and herded out in a large group to the exit. This happened many times in all the buildings. It was a scary time as no one knew when it would be their turn. And then of course the manufacturing slowed down, units of product were moved out, lines were shut down, people were let go.
Those of us who lost our jobs during that time were not offered a "golden handshake". Far from it.
I'm hearing in this thread some complaints about how those who had nice retirements often have had comments made by the "not-haves" and aren't too happy about it. Maybe the negativity is/was too hard to read about.
Maybe the "not-haves" are angry because they read of your successes and happy times when what could have been theirs was no longer. Maybe that's hard to understand by those who have not experienced it. But as one who did experience it, I can tell you it's hard to swallow. Our decent retirements were stolen from us.
Now, 20-some years later, we drive by the huge area our corporation occupied. All of the buildings are gone. It's now a "park". A place to jog, etc. It's a bitter pill. For those of you who did not go through that, I imagine it might choke you if you had to face it.
Is there really something wrong with someone who is sick or disabled as they age? someone who does not WANT to volunteer or go on trips, or pursue sports or whatever? Are such people to be accused of "Playing the age card"?
Should a rule be added that only upbeat and positive posts should be allowed?
I am glad for all the posters that have it good, have enough money, have good health, enjoy their preferred activities. But does that give them or anyone the right to look down on those that don't do or have those things?
Really?
TheShadow[/b];54330856]Maybe it's because every time someone posts on C-D about how well they're doing in retirement they get jumped on for "bragging". And then the "woe is me" posters take over the thread with their downer replies and try to make the happy posters feel like crap for enjoying their retirement that they worked, saved, and planned for while others can't.
Don't jump on me, I know not everyone is doing well financially or physically in retirement. For those folks that aren't, I do have feelings of sympathy and sadness. I wish I could change it so everyone is safe, secure and happy, but life doesn't work like that.
There are quite a few happily retired boomer posters on this forum, but we've started keeping it to ourselves.
I learned a long time ago someone else can't make me happy or sad, guilty or not guilty.
If a C-D poster lets another poster's comments "make them feel like crap", that is on them, not the woe is me poster. Take responsibility for yourself and don't blame things on people who have already been broken.
Thank your lucky stars you are in the position to brag.
I am one of those who share and appreciates food pic's on Facebook. I belong to a number of the grilling and smoking groups and love those pictures. I also love YouTube Kamoda videos of food prep and cooking. Hmm and yummy. Gonna get a Kamoda Joe Classic 2 when the outside work is done. Already have a Weber Gasser and a BGE medium.
We enjoy dining out and Biltmore wine club. We share lots of restaurant, creamery, and brewery (beer, cider, and wine) photos. We have groups of friends who do the same. So fun to venture out to small towns to find a gem of a family restaurant, cheese or candy factory. North Carolina is full of them as well as amazingingly beautiful landscapes. Our sunrise and sunset views are wonderful. Why not share?
I have shared my sadness over my mother’s death, and that of a much younger cousin, as well as passing of beloved pets. But in general I post positive news. Who wants to hear complaining and griping over sinus infections or painful shoulders? Not me.
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) and pass on some of what I've had to learn; maybe find a role to play well into retirement.