Are Baby Boomers becoming the diminished ability generation? (marriage, graduating, vacation)
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The vast majority of my Facebook friends post only positive things, or little to nothing at all. I’m only seeing vacation pics, baby pics, how wonderful life is, and occasionally politics. I hardly ever see anything negative about a personal life.
I use this as an example. I hike a lot. I got a DUI two years ago. I posted that day’s hiking pictures, but I didn’t post that I got a DUI that night after I bonded out. People generally only post the positive on social media. It has your real name tied to it and you generally add people you personally know.
These boards are as anonymous as you want them to be. I’m much more willing to be frank, and that includes negativity, because I’m anonymous.
Thank you for saying what I was about to.
I have never had any desire to use Facebook, Instagram, etc., and never will, but my son, DIL and their 30something peer group all do. And like you said, it seems to be (in most cases) a positive-spin platform for sure. It's the place where most people deliberately present the picture of their lives in the best possible light. In fact, I was told recently that to do anything short of that is regarded as "humble bragging" nowadays and is a huge social no-no.
My sons and their families and friends certainly have rose colored glasses on they are thriving as are many young people from good families and higher income neighborhoods who went to good schools. Absolutely thriving happy with great education(college) and great careers. Rose colored glasses they are. I have relatives who lived through what folks on here might consider challenging times who are retired with kids retiring early and grand children thriving. They all share one common thing. Strong familiy ties with adults who encouraged and nurtured for them to be successful and they are and are passing it on and on.
Again much of it is location driven and that is why parents big bucks to live in neighborhoods with great schools for their kids as both of my sons are doing.
I think you view the world from a different lens than others. You talk about good homes, higher income neighborhoods, good schools. College, great careers. Strong family ties.
You only know one side of the story of life. I do not begrudge you and your family. It's nice to hear that you enjoyed all of that.
But in order to have the complete picture of life for ALL, not just some, I believe you would benefit if you could step out of your comfort zone and try to understand what other people deal with every day. And because they are dealing with problems, it does not mean they have somehow failed, done terrible things, had miserable families. There is an expression I am sure you are familiar with......"s**t happens". Well, it does. It does happen. Lucky it did not happen to you. Feel grateful.
The ones I say thriving are doing so in a multitude of ways. Not all are by a long shot but the ones I am referencing are. Sure there are those I really have limited insight to but others yup.
You're certainly confident in the extent of your omniscience.
That's become a meme I like to refute and I think its popularity stems from a shift in values from the things that truly do give a person lasting satisfaction in life versus material things that don't.
Maybe we have commercialization of culture to blame. Or maybe it's the inevitable direction of capitalism when it has reached its peak. Or perhaps a contributor is population increase. Certainly social media has played a part.
If any generations had a right to feel they got the short straw it would be those who lived through the two World Wars and the Great Depression. Imagine a whole lifetime of those woes. All the wealth of the world can't erase what they saw, did and had to bear
The Millennials, while looking at some possibly grim financial circumstances, are still living in one of the richest and most stable environments when compared to the vast majority of the world's population. If they have food, shelter, water and a little money in their pockets they are among the world's richest eight percent.
The Greatest Generation in general believed in family, loyalty, reliability, church and, as such built a survival network for themselves which bore them through tremendous wreckage.
Our young people are dying of record suicide and drug overdose rates. Perhaps the difference is not the circumstances as much as it is general group attitude and values?
Can't rep you again, but wanted to say this was an awesome post
I never understood why my mother went to a salon in her later years to have her hair washed. Why not do it yourself?
Now that I have shoulder arthritis, I understand. Showering and getting dressed are very painful. So there's that. She could not raise her arms up, and I relate, since it hurts.
But hey! Not to be a downer. We still do everything we (I) can---lots of travel.
I'm glad for all the retirees with excellent health and lots of funds. But, as someone said, life can still throw the curve-ball despite the best planning. You can't plan your way out of some of those. There's some irritation when successful people say proper planning would have prevented all of life's bumps in the road.
We're not affluent, but sometimes I worry about using the word "beach" too much, LOL.
I never saw the earlier iteration of C-D but maybe now it's more visible to the masses....
I like it the way it is, but I'm sure change is always hard to see, for the long-timers.
My sister also goes to have her hair washed once a week. She doesn’t even have shoulder arthritis. I forgot what her reasons are, something to do with not using her shower.
I have hip and shoulder problem, yet I wash mine everyday. I don’t have long hair like she does though. I like a hot bath since my early 20s, that’s not going to change now.
I learned a long time ago someone else can't make me happy or sad, guilty or not guilty.
If a C-D poster lets another poster's comments "make them feel like crap", that is on them, not the woe is me poster. Take responsibility for yourself and don't blame things on people who have already been broken.
Thank your lucky stars you are in the position to brag.
We are all responsible for what we feel.
Uuumm...I said they "TRY to make you feel like crap", I didn't say they succeeded. No, other people's posts don't change my mood. I am not "blaming" others for my feelings. I like my feelings. I've always been an optimistic type, and my mood is very rarely down. I don't brag. I don't need to impress strangers who have no reason to believe I'm even telling the truth. I am well aware of those better off than me (much better, right here in my neighborhood, literally all around), and those in circumstances much worse than my own. I've been in those circumstances. I've never accused anyone of bragging about normal ordinary things as people on this forum have. Even in a thread asking for advice, we get people telling us to stop bragging.
I think you view the world from a different lens than others. You talk about good homes, higher income neighborhoods, good schools. College, great careers. Strong family ties.
You only know one side of the story of life. I do not begrudge you and your family. It's nice to hear that you enjoyed all of that.
But in order to have the complete picture of life for ALL, not just some, I believe you would benefit if you could step out of your comfort zone and try to understand what other people deal with every day. And because they are dealing with problems, it does not mean they have somehow failed, done terrible things, had miserable families. There is an expression I am sure you are familiar with......"s**t happens". Well, it does. It does happen. Lucky it did not happen to you. Feel grateful.
Sure but I am living my life as shared with those I know. I don't know you and other than this board you are not part of my life.
Money can ease the arthritis that I have. Bad shoulders and knees. Weekly acupuncture has kept me off the operating room table for a decade now. Fortunately insurance pays if not I could still do. We our having a outdoor addition done with entry off of the first floor master bedroom( house built with first floor master) and breakfast room. The addition is a big screened porch with fireplace and tv along with a grilling deck. Can live very easily without going upstairs which I do anyway as both or our entertaining areas are up there. The question is going up the stairs at the beach place which I still do carrying bags etc. However there is probably a shelf life to that. However Chinese Medicine does wonders.
Up until a point. Last year I had a problem, I went to my acupuncture a lot, after spending lots of money, after the insurance ran out, I decided to DrGoogle myself and sure enough that cured it.
Btw, I’m thinking of having a outdoor jacuzzi installed, just in case I get too old to climb in the bath tub.
I'm convinced that you have a good understanding of where your neighbors and friends stand financially, for all the reasons you state. What you don't know is what's really going on behind closed doors, especially on a superficial platform like Facebook.
Coming from one of the most affluent towns in the nation, although not wealthy myself, I went to school as a scholarship student at a private prep school that had day students from extremely affluent neighborhoods in surrounding towns such as Atherton, Los Altos Hills, Woodside, Portola Valley, and the higher end of Palo Alto, as well as boarding students from families in Europe, Latin America, Asia, and other places in the USA.
When I really got to know my fellow students, spent time in their homes, and heard what was going on in their families, I had to reconcile my perception of the glamour of privilege and affluence with some really sad dysfunction enabled by wealth: neglect, alcoholism, mental illness, suicide, sexual abuse, substance abuse, infidelity, ugly divorces, and more.
There were some happy times even in dysfunctional homes, and even some genuinely happy homes, but in general there were shocking secrets behind the closed doors of those glamorous houses. There was no Facebook then, but even if there were I doubt that people post about these kinds of problems in their lives on Facebook even today. It's naive to think that what you see on Facebook is more than what people want you to think of them, no more than that.
That goes to show rich or poor people have the same problem, I mean they are not immune to problem despite having money.
But does that give them or anyone the right to look down on those that don't do or have those things?
Really?
Of course not. But has that actually happened? I've seen a lot more people get jumped on for reporting some happy event, than I've seen people jumped on for reporting a challenge (and usually that was because those people were going on and on about it, to the point that it becomes whining). Certainly nobody has jumped on me when I talked about having cancer or the financial difficulties we had with selling our house. I think Tuborg was just noting that the balance has changed, that in years past people talked about the ups and downs equally. These days people feel safe talking about disabilities and challenges, but less safe talking about the upbeat things they're doing in retirement.
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