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Old 02-07-2019, 10:40 AM
 
13,395 posts, read 13,457,370 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
and the sun rises in the east. i just don't get the sun bragging about it. it is the SUN.
not everybody have choices in life. they don't have the option to pay cash for cars or a retirement house.
they don't have a pension. people make do with what they have. and still find happiness, live a good life.

i don't get the bragging about "see how well I did and you can too, if you were smart like me."
No, everybody cannot and it has nothing to do with mere smartness or ability to measure, whatever that means. there are smart people who file bankruptcy. measuring one's worth by money alone, or by what it can buy, is a foolish thing.

of course we are all entitled to be foolish.
Not true. EVERYONE has some level of choice in their lives. Even if it's in only one area, there is still choice.

Again, none of this conversation equates to blame or gloating.

ETA: the ideas around choice and personal power are relatively new. If one grew up before a certain time, they may have not understood their power of choice.

Last edited by charlygal; 02-07-2019 at 10:52 AM..
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Old 02-07-2019, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Idaho
2,097 posts, read 1,922,854 times
Reputation: 8366
Quote:
Originally Posted by funisart View Post
Lol. Look out. First AHS post.
AHS? American Horror Story? I did not see any horror story in cb2008 post. She just expressed her POV that happiness and satisfaction can not be measured.

I only agree partially with her post that one can not always quantify happiness and satisfaction.

What I don't agree is the somewhat didactic statement that
Quote:
Happiness and satisfaction ... SHOULD NOT be measured. Because once you do that you are no longer happy or content, you start measuring again.
We are all different. I have seen people truly relish the process of measurement. For example, my attorney sister who makes $300K a year always get a big kick out of getting bargain items from garage/estate sale ;-)

I also don't read the OP as 'gloating'. I agree with his observation that some people are data driven and others are driven by other factors like emotion and feeling.

Being a scientist and engineer, I am also very data driven. It is in my nature, training and profession to analyze everything with decisions typically made based on spreadsheet analysis. However, I am not always a stickler for data/statistics and do rely on my emotion or gut-feeling when it comes to important life decisions.

The last time that I prepared a financial analysis spreadsheet was 3 years ago when I decided to take the buyout. I used to monitor and track my investment (using morningstar portfolio) monthly but reduced the review/analysis to once a year (at the end of the year) to decide what tax saving action to take.

Sometimes, certain important or significant event in your life can completely change your life outlook and habit. For me, it was when we learned that our only daughter had breast cancer in October 2017. This bad news started a chain of actions in our life. We made the huge decision of moving from NY to ID to be close to her. I have not reviewed our portfolios since then. The fact that our beloved daughter could be gone before us totally changes my attitude about money, saving, investment etc. I find myself much freer to spend money on things which enhance our life, to create life memories. We spent a lot of money last year and sold some of our mutual funds shares (the first time in 40 years + of investments) to upgrade the old home (it was money well spent, the house had several offers in the first 3 days). We also bought some additional high quality furniture and garden/yard tools. I finally splurged and bought high quality linens/rugs/towels etc to replace the old ones which we donated to charities. I have no ideas what was our withdrawal rate last year and would not careless about the so-call SWR!

So, I can proudly state that I am no longer a data-driven retiree. The move to Idaho turned out to be very successful. I wake up everyday looking out at the beautiful scenery outside of 3/4 rooms of the house and count my blessing. We tremendously enjoy being close to our daughter. We see her every week (picking up and returning the grand puppies - we babysit them 2-3 days a week, staying the night at her house in Boise to attend concerts/events there or they come to our 'ranch' for a weekend R&R).

Yes, we are living 'for the moment'. Our 'life insurance' is the knowledge that we are resilient and can adjust our living standard to whatever required levels.

So, I agree with cb2008 that sometimes happiness and satisfaction can not be measured especially in terms of dollars and cents. However, I also agree with the sentiments expressed by other posters that 'money buy choices'.

Last edited by BellaDL; 02-07-2019 at 11:35 AM..
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Old 02-07-2019, 11:46 AM
 
31,680 posts, read 40,970,152 times
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A personal note. We are seriously planning to eventually move to a CCRC. Perhaps if health holds up around age 80. We have researched, visited and affiliated with one as part of OUR process. While that is perhaps nine years away, we realize that to OUR way of thinking that involves planning now.
The cost associated and the value and quality of facilities varies. If we want to land in a facity to our liking there are financial targets to either meet or maintain. Within those facilities the residential options vary as does the resulting quality of day to day life.
If planning ahead and assessing the dollar cost of that happiness in our lives post 80 is foolish then sign me up for that train.
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Old 02-07-2019, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Asheville NC
2,061 posts, read 1,953,473 times
Reputation: 6258
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaDL View Post
AHS? American Horror Story? I did not see any horror story in cb2008 post. She just expressed her POV that happiness and satisfaction can not be measured.

I only agree partially with her post that one can not always quantify happiness and satisfaction.

What I don't agree is the somewhat didactic statement that We are all different. I have seen people truly relish the process of measurement. For example, my attorney sister who makes $300K a year always get a big kick out of getting bargain items from garage/estate sale ;-)

I also don't read the OP as 'gloating'. I agree with his observation that some people are data driven and others are driven by other factors like emotion and feeling'.
AHS—Affluent and Happy Shaming. Coined by Tborg in earlier thread. I agree this is not about gloating-but someone always pops up an expresses their “opinion” that a person is gloating if they are speaking of how well their financial life is going.

The way I understand the OP it is about the different ways people measure the success of their retirement- how it changes from your saving years to your spending years. I’m sure a lot of people don’t measure it at all.

Was not meant to be anything but a positive thread. Too many negative people on this forum in my opinion.
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Old 02-07-2019, 01:22 PM
 
13,395 posts, read 13,457,370 times
Reputation: 35711
Quote:
Originally Posted by funisart View Post
AHS—Affluent and Happy Shaming. Coined by Tborg in earlier thread. I agree this is not about gloating-but someone always pops up an expresses their “opinion” that a person is gloating if they are speaking of how well their financial life is going.

The way I understand the OP it is about the different ways people measure the success of their retirement- how it changes from your saving years to your spending years. I’m sure a lot of people don’t measure it at all.

Was not meant to be anything but a positive thread. Too many negative people on this forum in my opinion.
I understood the OP's intent more as how people planned their retirement. Using data points or other measures like emotions, family stuff, etc.
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Old 02-07-2019, 01:39 PM
 
31,680 posts, read 40,970,152 times
Reputation: 14424
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
I understood the OP's intent more as how people planned their retirement. Using data points or other measures like emotions, family stuff, etc.
It was just saying we are different in how we approach and live retirement. What we consider and how much we consider varies in the forum. That is why we sometimes have differing opinions.
What is important is that we are happy in the lives we are living.

So as we discuss the various paths, processes and results, can we all value and share the happiness of others?

We are all wired uniquely and it is great to have a variety of life experiences shared so that those coming up have a variety of insights to help them if they want those insights.

Note I said if they want. For some this forum can be a great learning tool. It was for
me.
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Old 02-07-2019, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Idaho
2,097 posts, read 1,922,854 times
Reputation: 8366
Quote:
Originally Posted by funisart View Post
AHS—Affluent and Happy Shaming. Coined by Tborg in earlier thread. I agree this is not about gloating-but someone always pops up an expresses their “opinion” that a person is gloating if they are speaking of how well their financial life is going.
......

Was not meant to be anything but a positive thread. Too many negative people on this forum in my opinion.
While I don't agree with some parts of cb2008's post, I did not see any 'shaming' intent in her post.

I agree that there are some negative people on this forum. However, I don't think that your comment is a positive one. I'm certain that it was not your intention. IMO, it has the negative effect of bringing out 'class warfare'.
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Old 02-07-2019, 01:56 PM
 
Location: Asheville NC
2,061 posts, read 1,953,473 times
Reputation: 6258
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaDL View Post
While I don't agree with some parts of cb2008's post, I did not see any 'shaming' intent in her post.

I agree that there are some negative people on this forum. However, I don't think that your comment is a positive one. IMO, it has the negative effect of bringing out 'class warfare'.
She said he was gloating and bragging-

Her words-copied and pasted :

In any case what is the point of a post that merely seems to gloat in how efficiently one measured one's life


i don't get the bragging about "see how well I did and you can too, if you were smart like me."


Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
Exactly what value are you adding to a forum like this by talking about how you spend your money?


So I just pointed out the obvious, she took a negative view of tborg’s post and I felt that it was “shaming” and I’m also entitled to my opinion- how is that class warfare? Someone is fine shaming someone who does well? That is bringing out class warfare.
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Old 02-07-2019, 02:21 PM
 
Location: Idaho
2,097 posts, read 1,922,854 times
Reputation: 8366
Quote:
Originally Posted by funisart View Post
She said he was gloating and bragging-

Her words-copied and pasted :

In any case what is the point of a post that merely seems to gloat in how efficiently one measured one's life


i don't get the bragging about "see how well I did and you can too, if you were smart like me."


Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
Exactly what value are you adding to a forum like this by talking about how you spend your money?


So I just pointed out the obvious, she took a negative view of tborg’s post and I felt that it was “shaming” and I’m also entitled to my opinion- how is that class warfare? Someone is fine shaming someone who does well? That is bringing out class warfare.
I hate to 'argue' back and forth both in real life and more so online. However, I have to point out that the statements which you quoted were posted AFTER your comment. cb2008's first post in this thread was not at all or as contentious as her later posts. IMO, your comment may have contributed to the more negative tone of her later posts.

Yes, everybody is entitled to their opinions including cb2008, you and me!!!!

Last edited by BellaDL; 02-07-2019 at 02:49 PM..
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Old 02-07-2019, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Asheville NC
2,061 posts, read 1,953,473 times
Reputation: 6258
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaDL View Post
I hate to 'argue' back and forth both in real life and more so online. However, I have to point out that the statements which you quoted were posted AFTER your comment. cb2008's first post in this thread was not at all contentious as her later posts. IMO, your comment may have contributed to the more negative tone of her later posts.

Yes, everybody is entitled to their opinions including cb2008, you and me!!!!
No her first comment was before mine. Why else would I have posted mine. And her posts were pointedly towards what Tuborg said. No reference to my posts at all. I don’t think she noticed mine at all even when I tried to explain how he was referencing financesvwith joy. She never responded to me. So her negativity just is her negativity.


And I do believe everyone is different, but to continue to be negative is uncalled for.
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