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One of my favorite things about living in a retirement community is that when people ask "What do you do?" the answers are no longer about work!
I hated that when you met people where I used to live, the first thing they did was ask you what you did for work. Not that I wasn't proud of my job, but I felt there was a lot more to who people are than what they did to make a salary. After 50+ years of that, I'm really happy to live in a place where people answer questions like that with things like "We're really into cycling!" Or "We're going to the beach to take sunrise photos of eagles, want to come?" or even "I sit on my porch, and watch the Nats. Feel free to stop by and have a beer."
But I have friends who take it a step further. If someone insists on talking about what we used to do when we were working, they'll simply make something up!
"I did top secret stuff, I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill ya"
"Drove the clown car in a circus"
"Professional Philatelist"
"Sponge diver"
"Underwear model"
Their theory is that if people are foolish enough to still be judging you based on what you used to do, they deserve a silly answer. Not to mention, what difference does it make any more and how are they going to prove you weren't an underwear model? I love my neighbors!
Anyway, wondering if this is common in other retirement communities or if I just lucked out in getting wonderfully quirky neighbors.
lol, aaah I think you're taking this waay to seriously. I think people ask those type of questions because truthfully we've been trained all our lives to ask that. whether it's a first date or the PTA meeting, the social norm is to ask a person about themselves and the number one question is always "what do you do for a living" or a variety of it.
Now I'm getting ready to retire. 9 months, 13 days, 9 hours (yep got a countdown clock on my laptop) and the number one question I get all the time is "what are you going to do"?? I don't take it personally and I love when they say I look too "young" to be retired. My basic answer is always, "whatever I want to do" and that's the truth.
but if it is said "snarky" I simply say, "I'm going to drive the monorail at WDW" which use to be a childhood fantasy of mine.
I don't ask people what they do to judge them.
I ask bc other people's jobs can be really interesting.
I have met people with totally fascinating experiences from their work.
Same reason I ask about hobbies - interesting stories, learn stuff, etc.
But I have friends who take it a step further. If someone insists on talking about what we used to do when we were working, they'll simply make something up!
"I did top secret stuff, I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill ya"
"Drove the clown car in a circus"
"Professional Philatelist"
"Sponge diver"
"Underwear model"
Their theory is that if people are foolish enough to still be judging you based on what you used to do, they deserve a silly answer.
Congratulations. You've defined exactly what a clique is: A group of people giggling about how much more clever they are than others...and being pointlessly rude about it.
I always like knowing what people did before they retired, but I don't tend to ask just in case, like with the OP, they don't like to talk about it. But knowing what they did gives me a clue about what their interests might be, and oftentimes, I am fascinated to hear an insider's view of a profession or area I knew nothing about. I don't really care how much they made, because to me, someone like a carpenter or the guy who was up on the roof replacing our skylights is a true everyday hero, and I've known far more nice, interesting, and intelligent people who were in blue collar jobs than the executives I've met.
If I did ask such a simple, inoffensive question as, "What did you do before you retired?" and the person gave me a snarky answer, I would know two things: 1) They were ashamed or embarrassed of their job, and 2) that I had asked the last question I would ever ask that person.
Asking the question about what you did is not rude, unless it is the usual setup for the crap that follows after. There are some people where I sense that it is an innocent question and others where it is just part of a power trip. I try to respond appropriately in keeping.
"I cared for the severely mentally ill"
"I write"
"I threw people out of movie theatres for being rude."
"I was a professional exhibitionist" (the alternate title for one who shows films for profit)
"I had my own small business."
"I wrote a computer program."
"I worked trying to manage managers."
"Nuthin much, what did YOU do." (which, 90% of the time is the real reason where people want you to go when they ask the question)
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I love my neighbors!
