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Old 05-20-2019, 08:10 PM
 
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The motivation for many of us back then was to make our own money and be on our own and independent as soon as possible. Many of us either got jobs out of high school or financed our own college education. People say it was cheaper then to go to college, but bear in mind back in the late 60's a new house cost $25K a new car cost a little over $2K, and a graduate engineer from a good school was earning about $6K a year, so it's all relative. By our mid 20's many of us were married and starting a family.

When our generation became parents many decided to pay for their childrens' educations. We chose to let our kids do it the way I did, living at home and commuting to a public college, working and taking out student loans to make up the difference.

Well, I'm sure it's all good for the kids whose parents financed their educations and moved on to successful well paid careers. I believe some kids take the kickstart and thrive with it. Others take the kickstart and stall when it doesn't keep coming in once they are out of school and on their own.

Everyone here has posted success stories but I'll bet there's lots of parents who paid for their childrens' educations and are still living with their unemployed 30 year olds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Wow. The days when parents expected you to make it on your own are truly over.

The amount of enabling has to have a crippling effect on people.

I hope this subject is being studied.

Last edited by bobspez; 05-20-2019 at 08:18 PM..
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Old 05-20-2019, 09:05 PM
 
3,354 posts, read 858,335 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Wow. The days when parents expected you to make it on your own are truly over.

The amount of enabling has to have a crippling effect on people.

I hope this subject is being studied.
It is. By me.

All this "rollover money" is driving up tuition, rents, and home prices. There are enough students receiving regular assistance from their parents (or for most big ticket items) that housing, education, and weddings are priced accordingly. So long as people desire to one-up their friends and accept money that is above any beyond what they're really earning at this stage in life, the market will continue to price goods and services at such levels that place the same lifestyle out of reach of people who were not given the option of receiving any parental assistance and had to finance their education.

I wonder what sort of economic effect (and side effects) would result if everyone was brow-beaten into saving 30% off the top, compulsively, to either hold or invest (in something slightly less volatile than we tend to place the 15% we are coached to set aside).
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Old 05-20-2019, 09:38 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,608 posts, read 39,974,527 times
Reputation: 23749
definitely "Kick-Start", as in OUT by age 18 (which was 3 yrs longer than I had). but... I was a FT caregiver for a disabled parent the day I turned 18 (and for next 32 yrs), so I NEEDED and appreciated my age 15 'Kick-Start' "You are OUTTA here!".


So... MY philosophy BDTD, as to EQUIP my kids long before age 18. (They had WORK EXPERIENCE and financial planning and management background and ~$100k of discretionary funds / equity by age 18) and really good skills and well paying jobs. ($30k for 6 weeks of DANGEROUS employment)


Wasn't simple, but was worth putting adult careers on hold for 12 yrs to train kids to be successful / self sufficient and self starters. (As a single income worker family... the worker bee... (ME) worked nights in a factory so I could be home with kids and farm during daylight.
  1. Age 8... 4H and helping with home business (raising selling farm animals) We helped (of course, that is the TRAINING / equipping part)) Personal Savings = $5k by age 16.. enough to buy car and pay insurance ($1200 / yr for boys... 20 yrs ago...)
  2. Age 12 ... Roth Iras (~$20k by age 18) - Trading and MF, (One became a trader / wealth manager) we matched 100% of their wages into Roth from age 12 - age 17.
  3. Age 14 ... taught them CAD (computer aided design) and told them to design their own homes (We were living in Spain and Switzerland at the time (Homeschooling and traveling everyday)
  4. Age 15 ... ($80k in home equity by age 17) designed and built their own homes from their own designs (we all helped, but kids had to get permits, do the difficult stuff (Framing, Concrete forms Wiring, plumbing, woodwork)
  5. Age 16 ... kids had 20+ hr / week (night shift) jobs, + SE income (businesses / contract work) to pay for cars and insurance and fuel (brewed their own) and were in FREE FT College instead of HS (good idea) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Running_Start ~20,000 students / yr for past 30 yrs! Got necessary certs for future high risk college summer jobs.
  6. Age 18 ... GONE, (with plenty of dough ~$100k each) They were full jrs, in state U's, Summer jobs = $30k in 6 weeks (Wildland firefighting (engine boss) and Alaska Fishing (on a 5 man crew off-shore, shared COSTs and income (like $30k in fuel!).
  7. I tried to have them buy duplexes / 4 plexes for college, but that had commercial properties investments and liked the NNN income (no hassle).
  8. Pre age 20 DONE with college (each graduated Magna in STEM (while working and doing a lot of volunteer projects for communities)). Not tough, not special... just doing what you need to do in life (As they were trained and equipped)

Kids now 15 yrs beyond college... have not 'rebelled' yet... they travel a LOT.. VERY engaged in community volunteer / mentoring / helping other kids / and teaching adult ed classes.

Many many ways to "Kick Start".

Ours get NO inheritance, we gave it all away on our 30's to DAF / family foundation. The kids will become the designators of that account.

More TRAINING (to be benevolent to the needy and Make-their-own-way', as they desire / necessity.

They seem very 'grown up', and are doing well and have a lot of appreciation by their community and managers.

I think it is due to 'home school socialization benefit' i.e. not raised / sequestered to 10 hrs / day of age segregated social skills.

Need an example? ... Hire a Homeschool kid and a public school kid for self directed work manager projects and see who gets what done and who your customers like / recommend. (and insurance company) .
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Old 05-20-2019, 09:50 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,608 posts, read 39,974,527 times
Reputation: 23749
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Wow. The days when parents expected you to make it on your own are truly over.

The amount of enabling has to have a crippling effect on people.

I hope this subject is being studied.
yes... sad (especially if you are an employer in USA and need to hire the PRODUCT of our parents / edu...)

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine...n-mind/399356/
The Coddling of the American Mind
In the name of emotional well-being, college students are increasingly demanding protection from words and ideas they don’t like. Here’s why that’s disastrous for education—and mental health.
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Old 05-20-2019, 09:59 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,608 posts, read 39,974,527 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FiveLoaves View Post
Daydreaming wistfully about the good ol' days, it's important to remember that College cost about 10 grand -- for all four years. And graduates had their choice of good jobs with full health bennys and pensions -- not these unpaid internships and entry level contract employment.

I gave my kid a Kick Start because she earned it with good grades and study habits all through her schooling.
I paid my own way through college on $1.50 hr (and was housing / feeding / caring for my parents when I was age 18.) My house payments were 60% of my take home pay (FT night shift job). so... I got 3 more jobs (weekends / contract work (I did mechanical drawings for PAY while attending college during the day)) + FT college. (never less that 15 CrHrs of mechanical engineering). Employer reimbursed tuition and books AFTER I graduated with a 3.0+.

It is still VERY possible to work your way through... even Walmart offers Education Reimbursement. Lots of night shift jobs out there (No-one likes to work nights (except me!). !! More pay, less bosses and no CRY-BABY day-shifters
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Old 05-20-2019, 10:01 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,608 posts, read 39,974,527 times
Reputation: 23749
Quote:
Originally Posted by ddm2k View Post
It is. By me.

All this "rollover money" is driving up tuition, rents, and home prices. ...
and parent funded edu does NOT hold students or Profs OR EDU institution to DELIVER content or value...


My kids and myself all teach in Higher EDU PT, and it is pathetic what gets by as 'Educational VALUE'. My kids always commented that by paying out of their own pocket, they had a lot of leverage / expectation of Profs, and they let them know if they were getting ripped off. (Taught by teacher aids / grad students instead of Prop... or if Prof was outdated in technology or content.)
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Old 05-20-2019, 10:03 PM
Q44
 
Location: Hudson Valley, NY
895 posts, read 766,360 times
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We did pay or are paying for all 3 kids to go to college. It's been a great investment since although they could have gone private - all 3 picked SUNY colleges. They all received some scholarships including the middle kid getting a full tuition scholarship. They have all chosen degree programs with excellent employment futures.

We also paid for the oldest D to do 2 study abroad programs in Europe. Middle girl got a late model used SUV since her school is in snow country in Western NY. We're looking to get a car for our youngest since his college program includes a semester long externship.

We have told the offspring that we would be much more likely to help with a down payment on a house someday than to pay for a wedding. We experienced that ourselves, having paid for our own wedding but my in-laws surprised us with a generous gift when we were looking for a house.
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Old 05-20-2019, 10:06 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,107 posts, read 54,597,263 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Wow. The days when parents expected you to make it on your own are truly over.

The amount of enabling has to have a crippling effect on people.

I hope this subject is being studied.
Exactly when were those days, though?

I'm 60. I was one of seven kids, with parents who lived through the Great Depression and WWII.

My parents weren't handing out any money. As a matter of fact, if you were out of high school and not in any other kind of school, you'd better be working and paying board to live there. In 1976, I made $80 a week before taxes working full-time, and I had to give my parents $20.

When I was older and getting married and seeing other people my age buying houses, I started to ask "Where did you get a down payment?" Most of the time, parents were giving a chunk of change toward the down payment. I was shocked that it was so prevalent. This was back in the 80s.
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Old 05-20-2019, 10:10 PM
 
Location: New Mexico
6,584 posts, read 3,670,806 times
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Assuming the parents or grandparents are financially able to do so, I think this is very common and I have no problem with it unless there is abuse or hardship coming out of it. There is a fuzzy line: Do you pay college expenses...only some or all? Grad school? Buy a car? If so, is it a graduation gift? Do you pay for weddings? What about child care?

My parents paid most of my college expenses but I went to a local community college and then transferred to a state university for two years. The cost then wasn't anything like today. Grad school was on me. i bought my first car. There was some parental help with a house down payment.

I think that a little kick-start when they are young and need it is better than having them struggle until I keel over.
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Old 05-20-2019, 10:11 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,608 posts, read 39,974,527 times
Reputation: 23749
Quote:
Originally Posted by Q44 View Post
We did pay or are paying for all 3 kids to go to college. It's been a great investment ...
We have told the offspring that we would be much more likely to help with a down payment on a house someday than to pay for a wedding. We experienced that ourselves, having paid for our own wedding but my in-laws surprised us with a generous gift when we were looking for a house.
I 'inherited' $120k debt from my parents (owed to family, so I needed to PAY it (on $1.50 hr wages) Fortunately I had OTHER ways to make money (Started flipping homes at age 18).

My inlaws went broke (3x) 2x AFTER retirement. We helped them as possible (and do to this day, as well as fund sibling issues) But we do not NEED to fund our kids, we EQUIPPED them. If they needed it... they would not ask us, but we would give as possible... most of our wealth is in DAF, so kids can't get at it.

Fortunately our lids were able to send us money when we were gone for a yr and (3) CC got stopped for various reasons (changing banks... didn't like us being in different countries everyday,...) also our kids were able to close (3) commercial properties for us while were were traveling (because they had accompanied us on property transactions since age 12, and had built their own homes by age 16).

It is nice to help where needed.

Our kids don't need help, but many others do. (Our kids have been gifting $$ and time since age 12, such is LIFE, as they were trained and equipped... give away at least as much as you spend on yourself.)
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