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Old 05-21-2019, 09:45 AM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,435 posts, read 1,671,079 times
Reputation: 8704

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Can’t read the article - says you have to be a subscriber.

**Got to it on my pc. Boy there are a lot of ads on that site!!!

Yeah I’ve never liked any of that patronizing crap...even when I was really young. I think it’s a bit offensive.

As for older people being technologically inept, well that is quite often true. My parents are great examples of that. But those of us that are at the other end of the spectrum (worked in tech all our lives) I just don’t think anything about it since it simply does not apply to me.
I kept trying and got to read it finally without giving my email. Here’s the examples, so no one else wastes time. I’m omitting the first paragraph, this is all that is original. I’m copying something that is clearly not an ordinal thought, but taken from other articles. I’ve seen these “examples” elsewhere.


•Birthday parties featuring black balloons and crepe paper, cards that make fun of getting old, joke gifts about aging.

• "Anti-aging" products and services.

• Praising older people by comparing them to younger ones: "You look good for [your age]," "You're young at heart" or "Inside, I feel 30 years younger."

• "You're still... [dancing, driving, going to the gym, wearing a particular style]" or "You're too old to do those things."

• Describing minor forgetfulness as a "senior moment."

• Doctors, waiters and others directing comments about an older person at a younger companion or child of the older person.

• Health care and social-service providers who patronize older people, or who undertreat, overtreat or overmedicate them.

• Patronizing language (sweetie, dear, honey, he's so sweet, isn't she cute). Thinking older people doing things associated with younger people (mild cursing, having or referring to sex) is adorable or surprising.

• Name-calling: geezer, gramps, old fart, dirty old man, little old lady, old bag, biddy, old fogey.

• Lying about your age for fear of negative perceptions, or staying "39" year after year.

• Assuming that young people are computer geniuses and older people are technologically inept.

• Discussions of the "silver tsunami" that blame older people for economic and social challenges.
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Old 05-21-2019, 09:56 AM
Status: "Loving life, wife and job!" (set 12 days ago)
 
Location: USA
999 posts, read 387,453 times
Reputation: 2715
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
Well, the younger crowd thinks I’m a cool mom(comparing to their parents), the older crowd thinks I’m no older than 40. I’ve got to love the people I hang around with.
Not to say I never experienced sexism or ageism. I just shrugged them off.
Props to you. It's easy for us to be offended by something esp. if you're sensitive to it.

We were watching some TV drama and jest of the plot line was that legal immigrants were being hassled at the polling place by a "citizen" and allowed themselves to be bullied into not voting.

The story line was so stupid on so many levels and inaccurate as to what occurs once you're inside of the polling place. Be that as it may, I turned to my legal immigrant, aka as my wife, and asked her how she'd react if that occurred to her. She simply said, "I'd get in his face and tell him to get out of my way. No one is stopping me from voting."

Don't be a victim to any form of "-ism". Stand up for yourself and your rights. If I'm in the vicinity and you're in the right, I'll have your back.
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Old 05-21-2019, 09:57 AM
 
3,039 posts, read 1,020,626 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
Well, the younger crowd thinks Iím a cool mom(comparing to their parents), the older crowd thinks Iím no older than 40. Iíve got to love the people I hang around with.
Not to say I never experienced sexism or ageism. I just shrugged them off.
Yeah, I was kind of hesitant to post this because one way of dealing with these injustices is to refuse to acknowledge them. I have black friends who say, for example, that they never experienced racism. I find that hard to believe, and certainly wish it were true, but it's not my place to argue with them about it.
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Old 05-21-2019, 09:59 AM
 
3,039 posts, read 1,020,626 times
Reputation: 3856
Quote:
Originally Posted by k7baixo View Post
Props to you. It's easy for us to be offended by something esp. if you're sensitive to it.

We were watching some TV drama and jest of the plot line was that legal immigrants were being hassled at the polling place by a "citizen" and allowed themselves to be bullied into not voting.

The story line was so stupid on so many levels and inaccurate as to what occurs once you're inside of the polling place. Be that as it may, I turned to my legal immigrant, aka as my wife, and asked her how she'd react if that occurred to her. She simply said, "I'd get in his face and tell him to get out of my way. No one is stopping me from voting."

Don't be a victim to any form of "-ism". Stand up for yourself and your rights. If I'm in the vicinity and you're in the right, I'll have your back.
That's very cool. That's the way I feel, too.
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Old 05-21-2019, 10:02 AM
 
26,004 posts, read 33,010,516 times
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Yeah Iíve never really experienced either myself.
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Old 05-21-2019, 12:09 PM
 
3,039 posts, read 1,020,626 times
Reputation: 3856
Quote:
Originally Posted by V8 Vega View Post
Not sexism but definatly ageism. I am aware I'm old, not agile, cant even walk very good anymore. have to hang on the hand rail going up and for sure going down stairs. Look old and no one likes that. Although at church where I dress nice thin pretty women often smile and say hello. I think they see that I'm still active and they like that.
Yes no one likes to be old.
You have my deepest sympathies. Degenerative osteoarthritis has damaged my joints significantly, and there is very little in the way of remedy aside from keeping my weight down and gentle exercises. It hurts like hell, too.
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Old 05-21-2019, 12:10 PM
 
3,039 posts, read 1,020,626 times
Reputation: 3856
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Yeah Iíve never really experienced either myself.
I'm happy for you. I don't mean that ironically but taking you at your word.
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Old 05-21-2019, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,658,241 times
Reputation: 10169
Thanks for posting this Jean. Like you, I didn't feel like wading through all the ads. So these are the things we're supposed to be riled up about? Hmmm. There are 1-2 that I'll agree are ageism, but to be honest most of them don't strike me as big deals; some I even do myself.

For example, I talk about having "senior moments." Am I making an offensive remark about older people when I do that? No. I really don't think that the term "senior moment" is usually said in a prejudicial way. Now if someone is saying this with a snide, angry tone then I would consider it ageist. By the way, I also talk about having "cancer brain" which, by the way, doesn't mean I'm making snide remarks about cancer patients.

The one that really seemed like an issue to be concerned about was the doctors who prescribe medication incorrectly simply because a patient is older. That would be something to genuinely get upset over. Fortunately, I haven't heard of that happening here. Maybe it's because this is mostly a retirement community. A doctor who acted in that way wouldn't last long here.



I put some of my other thoughts in bolded blue below.


Quote:
Originally Posted by jean_ji View Post
I kept trying and got to read it finally without giving my email. Here’s the examples, so no one else wastes time. I’m omitting the first paragraph, this is all that is original. I’m copying something that is clearly not an ordinal thought, but taken from other articles. I’ve seen these “examples” elsewhere.


•Birthday parties featuring black balloons and crepe paper, cards that make fun of getting old, joke gifts about aging.


Seems a bit overly sensitive to me. IMO, no more offensive than when we got married and someone put up "ball and chain" decorations. I worked in a fire department, we liked to rib each other about all sorts of things like that. It didn't mean people there were prejudiced, it meant they had a particular sense of humor. Having said that, I do like real gifts better than gag gifts simply because I'm a practical person and I like gifts I will actually use.


• "Anti-aging" products and services.


Well, what sort of label would you prefer on these products? Like it or not, aging literally means things need care to prevent the damage that passing time can bring. This happens not only with people but even with objects.It doesn't mean you are prejudiced against age, it means you are being realistic that care and maintenance is required. People buy products to slow down damage aging can cause on their cars, too. That doesn't mean they are prejudiced against their cars, it means they're taking good care of them.


• Praising older people by comparing them to younger ones: "You look good for [your age]," "You're young at heart" or "Inside, I feel 30 years younger." Meh. There are plenty of phrases that praises people for appearing older, too. "I enjoy talking with someone with a mature attitude" for example. If you tell a young person "You're wise beyond your years" or "you look so grown up" is that a sign of ageism?

• "You're still... [dancing, driving, going to the gym, wearing a particular style]" or "You're too old to do those things."


Every once in awhile I encounter someone who is surprised by that people in my community do zumba, ride 50-mile bike rides, or go jet skiing. Is it ageism? Hmm, I'll say yes. But to be honest I don't get upset about it. I just invite them to play pickleball and quietly enjoy seeing them get wiped out when they discover how challenging it is.


• Describing minor forgetfulness as a "senior moment."

As I said earlier, I use this phrase all the time, and don't find it insulting or "ageist" at all.


• Doctors, waiters and others directing comments about an older person at a younger companion or child of the older person.


This one I'll agree is ageism. Fortunately, I haven't seen that happen. But if I did, I would make sure to look them in the eye and have them talk directly to me.


• Health care and social-service providers who patronize older people, or who undertreat, overtreat or overmedicate them.


Another thing that I haven't heard of happening. Perhaps I'm very lucky to live where I do! If it did happen, I would file a complaint with the hospital and the insurance companies and publicly shame any medical profession who gave me an incorrect prescription for medication.


• Patronizing language (sweetie, dear, honey, he's so sweet, isn't she cute). Thinking older people doing things associated with younger people (mild cursing, having or referring to sex) is adorable or surprising.


Not worth getting your panties in a twist, IMO. Of course, maybe it's because I'm in the southeast, and people talking like that is more common. I sympathize that it can feel patronizing, but instead of getting upset you can make the point a lot more effectively by mirroring it (If someone says "Would you hand me the fire axe, sweetie", just say "Sure thing lambie chop")

• Name-calling: geezer, gramps, old fart, dirty old man, little old lady, old bag, biddy, old fogey.



Depends on the tone. If these things are being said fondly, it's not offensive at all. We have a men's group at the rec center who call themselves the Old Coots. And they're very proud of it, too.


• Lying about your age for fear of negative perceptions, or staying "39" year after year.


I don't know people who actually do this, but feel sad to think there might be some who feel they need to do this. I do know people who deliberately lie about their former careers but that's an inside joke in my neighborhood, not something people do for fear of negative perceptions. I do know some young people who have fake IDs, when they lye about their age are they guilty of ageism?


• Assuming that young people are computer geniuses and older people are technologically inept.


As with all other assumptions, there will be plenty of exceptions. There will be young people who have never owned an i-phone, and older people who not only understand computers, back in the day they ran software companies or were the inventors of important devices. Having said that, it's commonly true. New technology is often difficult for the elderly to learn; that's not ageism it's a medical fact.


• Discussions of the "silver tsunami" that blame older people for economic and social challenges.


This one I'll agree is ageism. It's also inevitable. Every generation blames the one that came before for economic and social challenges. You can get upset about it if you like, but it seems like a waste of time to me. Kids will be kids, the younger generation needs to separate themselves from their parents, and this is how they do it.

Last edited by Piney Creek; 05-21-2019 at 12:40 PM..
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Old 05-21-2019, 12:27 PM
 
3,945 posts, read 3,264,708 times
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It doesn't help that the media, i.e., AARP magazine is portraying us elders by photographing someone in their very early fifties (with possible silver dyed hair) as a fair representation of the elderly. We live in a world dominated by images of what we are "expected" to look like, the media has been the culprit for most of that, but we ourselves have added to that by attempting to "be" young in every way possible, dress, hairstyles, cars, etc.

It's almost as if the natural process of ageing is looked upon as something to "overcome" by buying and using the myriad of "products" designed to stop or slow down that process. Look at the world of celebrity, filled with those who look hideous in their later years due to their attempts to--look, BETTER?

I'll be seventy four this summer, I've got some arthritic stuff to deal with, some mighty uncomfortable allergies, poor hearing, bad legs, some not so great teeth, and a growing bald spot on the back of my head...It's all just the results of growing old, and that's OK, that's the way it's supposed to be and I look the way I do because we don't look the same as we age. As for the OP's worries about the "comments" from others--I really don't care, and that, fellow oldies, is just one of the good things about ageing...
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Old 05-21-2019, 01:07 PM
 
480 posts, read 400,076 times
Reputation: 2077
Still, it only makes sense to take the best possible care of the body you've been given, for as long as you have it. Not to do your best for yourself seems foolish.

Just as long as it's for YOU, and not to chase after somebody else's notion of "should look like." That's a good rule for all of life, not just the last part.

Also, since you mentioned it, I don't blame AARP and "age-related" advertisers (think river cruise brochures) for trying to portray a positive, idealistic image of aging. I'm old enough to recall when my parents got AARP magazine, and the cover models looked very old and were just sitting in chairs or whatever. It made age look like something I wanted to avoid at all costs. So what if the models have silver-dyed hair, while the actual passengers (male and female) have hardly any hair.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jertheber View Post
It doesn't help that the media, i.e., AARP magazine is portraying us elders by photographing someone in their very early fifties (with possible silver dyed hair) as a fair representation of the elderly. We live in a world dominated by images of what we are "expected" to look like, the media has been the culprit for most of that, but we ourselves have added to that by attempting to "be" young in every way possible, dress, hairstyles, cars, etc.

I..
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