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Old 05-22-2019, 07:40 AM
Location: SW Florida
9,751 posts, read 7,030,085 times
Reputation: 14250


Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
Really? Are you speaking from experience? Because DH could have stayed at his company as long as he wanted. He didn't have to retire at 68.

We had another friend who was still working -- because it was fun -- at 75.

There's no pressure on our other friends to retire, either, and they're about to hit the big 6-0.

There's a research institute that is well-known for keeping on superannuated employees.

As far as sexism goes, I never experienced any. (Really!) Most of the guys I worked with were happy to see a woman had been hired and the rest didn't care one way or the other. I could do the work, that's all that mattered.

The oldest people I ever saw still working were a couple of research scientists (PhDs) who worked in a university immunology department. They were women in their 80's and their minds were just as sharp, and they were as knowledgeable as anyone I ever met in such a setting. I always found it inspiring when I got to visit their department and talk to them, have them show me the ropes there, answer my questions, and I learned a lot from those amazing women.

They had been there for many years and one of their friends told me they finally retired when they hit their mid to late 80's. I think it was finally health issues that got one of them, but as I understand it they really hadn't wanted to retire, they loved the work and couldn't imagine what else they'd do with their time. Though my friend told me they found a myriad of interests to concentrate on and keep their interest after they retired.
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:47 AM
245 posts, read 89,595 times
Reputation: 551
I guess I was lucky to not experience either in all my years of working. Maybe I didn't run into ageism because I retired at 50?

My favorite job was working with 14 men and 1 woman. I had absolutely no problems with any of them and they all had a tremendous amount of respect for my talents. I loved working with them.
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Old 05-22-2019, 07:56 AM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 18 days ago)
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,469 posts, read 14,312,551 times
Reputation: 23254
I don't get that using cutesy names is ageism. Just venture down south into an area that isn't full of transplants, if you're old enough to be out of knee breeches or hair ribbons you'll probably be called honey or sweetie by adults of all ages and sexes.
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:04 AM
6,308 posts, read 3,572,105 times
Reputation: 22041
I went back for my Master's in my thirties and was fed a heavy dose of feminism along with my degree. It was consciousness-raising and also extremely anger-producing.

Awareness is a good thing and it also leaves us with a choice about how we want to handle that awareness in our personal lives. It took me a while but I realized I didn't want to carry anger about the sins of society around with me, became as active as I could in making small changes where I could and learned some personal techniques to deal with signs of ageism and sexism in my little corner without setting off bombs everywhere I went.

I don't strive for perfection, just peaceful coexistence with each individual as I encounter them. People don't want to be changed. They just want to be heard and understood so I try to create that atmosphere and make it mutual. Maybe out of that individual changes can be made.

Remember, Kara, that how the world sees and treats you isn't the ultimate word on who you are. You get to decide that.
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:05 AM
3,604 posts, read 1,642,138 times
Reputation: 13548
Fluffy, you know nothing of my background except the few snippets I share publicly on here, but they haven't related to my full professional life, politics or everywhere I've worked or lived.

You don't agree with me, fine, I have no issue with that since I respect your right to your opinions but I respectfully ask that you refrain from presuming you know my background as a means to disparage my opinions.
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:06 AM
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,652,500 times
Reputation: 10169
Originally Posted by KaraZetterberg153 View Post
Making fun of someone is a way of controlling and diminishing them.

I totally agree with this, but, FWIW.....

Originally Posted by KaraZetterberg153 View Post

Men can experience ageism and even sexism, but rarely both. It's takes a special kind of sensibility to get what I'm referring to, but it's really not a proper subject of jokes.

Sentences like these are ways of controlling and diminishing people, too.

Regarding ageism at work, I do think it's a real phenomenon at some companies. I'm also very glad to hear there are places that don't practice it--but there are those that do. My sister is a teacher in Vermont and is terrified to see several private colleges closing up there because her school might be next. She's worked there almost 40 years and had planned to work for another ten years, but if her school closes she may be SOL. She is 58 and it's hard for teachers over 50 to find jobs. She'd probably have to move to a new state and maybe get a job at a place like Walmart.
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Old 05-22-2019, 08:09 AM
12,111 posts, read 6,687,780 times
Reputation: 12956
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
Those are the big, marquee names that pop up in the best places to work list. They're well known. I'm sure there are plenty of excellent companies to work for that fly perfectly under the radar.
You couldn't pay me enough to work at a large corporation again, at any age. I didn't work there because it was a top rated hot company, but because they were recruiting and the location convenient. But I found it to be a trap and I didn't like the snobbery of the employees thinking they were special, especially at the headquarters. They started hiring a lot of young people, many who did kind of look down on older employees, especially in management if they wanted their jobs.
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Old 05-22-2019, 02:21 PM
6,793 posts, read 3,859,912 times
Reputation: 15509
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
I hate when they try to make older folks look "cute" or say they act so cute etc. I don't know why that bugs me.

I guess i should stop with the funny birthday cards then? lol
"Cute" is often condescending, even when referring to children.
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Old 05-22-2019, 03:17 PM
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
8,778 posts, read 7,698,666 times
Reputation: 15051
I've been treated mostly pretty good. I appreciated it people cut me a little slack because Im old.
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Old 05-22-2019, 03:57 PM
6,566 posts, read 1,348,237 times
Reputation: 16627
I'm 65 and yes, I have noticed most of those things, and FWIW, here is my opinion about each point (in italics):

• Birthday parties featuring black balloons and crepe paper, cards that make fun of getting old, joke gifts about aging. Doesn't bother me a bit, and I enjoy the humor.

• "Anti-aging" products and services. Doesn't bother me a bit.

• Praising older people by comparing them to younger ones: "You look good for [your age]," "You're young at heart" or "Inside, I feel 30 years younger." Doesn't bother me a bit.

• "You're still... [dancing, driving, going to the gym, wearing a particular style]" or "You're too old to do those things." I haven't experienced that at all, but I would feel resentful if it was said to me.

• Describing minor forgetfulness as a "senior moment." Who cares?

• Doctors, waiters and others directing comments about an older person at a younger companion or child of the older person. Now, THAT is something that bothers me a LOT! (I haven't experienced it personally, but I have witnessed that many times.)

• Health care and social-service providers who patronize older people, or who undertreat, overtreat or overmedicate them. URRGGHH! Now that is something else that makes me angry!!

• Patronizing language (sweetie, dear, honey, he's so sweet, isn't she cute). Thinking older people doing things associated with younger people (mild cursing, having or referring to sex) is adorable or surprising. The first sentence describes something else that makes me FURIOUS! The second I couldn't care less about.

• Name-calling: geezer, gramps, old fart, dirty old man, little old lady, old bag, biddy, old fogey. This only bothers me if I see or hear someone using those words in an argument or some kind of disagreement. To me, it is like bringing in the fact that someone is obese or 'ugly' into an argument in which appearance has nothing to do with what is being discussed.

• Lying about your age for fear of negative perceptions, or staying "39" year after year. So what? It doesn't fool anyone, and if someone thinks they can get away with it, they are only fooling themselves and possibly making himself or herself look foolish.

• Assuming that young people are computer geniuses and older people are technologically inept. Well, that is actually true in my case, lol, so I am not going to be bothered personally, but I can definitely understand why MANY older people would take offense at that!

• Discussions of the "silver tsunami" that blame older people for economic and social challenges. Depends on exactly what is being discussed. If it is true regarding a specific topic, I don't take offense at the truth (usually).

I guess this goes to show, once again, that different people take offense at different things.

Last edited by katharsis; 05-22-2019 at 04:17 PM..
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