U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-25-2019, 05:13 AM
 
10,606 posts, read 12,128,397 times
Reputation: 6498

Advertisements

OP, my mother (75) could probably relate to you.

She worked all her life and for the last 30 years, was in a very high-stress government job. Ten hour days, long commute. But she actually loved her work, enjoyed her coworkers etc. It was the pace that wore her down. When she was about 69 years old, she finally retired mainly because of exhaustion. She decompressed for about 6 months and found she was kind of bored and missed her old job (but not the pace). She was contacted by them to come back to work for them as a contract worker, working remotely, for 20 hours a week at her old hourly rate. She took that and did it for about 3 years and it seemed the best of both worlds. At the same time, my father is retired and he is the type that is perfectly happy sitting at home reading a book, doing a puzzle, cutting the grass, going to the grocery store (not my mom).

So, after her second retirement, they did find that where they live is not really great for retired people. They live in a townhouse community that is full of commuters, renters, etc. They found they had no connections. They have bought a second home at The Villages and they just returned from being there for 6 months. They have made some friends and they have had some get togethers and they really like it; however, my sense is that my mother (at least) is still missing something and I think that's work. She does speak wistfully of some of the other residents she's met that have little part time work so I wouldn't be surprised if maybe she doesn't try something like that.

I think some people just need to have a purpose/duty. Some people need formal work to feel productive. It probably has a lot to do with how you spent your life and maybe how much your purpose at work was integral to your identity.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-25-2019, 06:00 AM
 
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
2,430 posts, read 3,657,283 times
Reputation: 4752
What your job provides:
  • Structure
  • Socialization
  • Purpose

It sounds as if the 55+ community provides ample Socialization, but perhaps these people are missing the Purpose and/or Structure their old jobs provided them.

And one of my Mother's sayings regarding complainers was, "Some people will ***** if you hang them with a new rope."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2019, 06:16 AM
 
921 posts, read 252,508 times
Reputation: 2519
I think a lot of people are too busy working, raising kids, working around the house, etc. to have/keep/develop any hobbies... then once that is all gone, they're bored. Or, they can't afford to do hobbies (many things cost money, whether you have to buy the supplies or take classes, and that can be difficult sometimes when *not* on a small fixed income). Or, they are no longer healthy enough/physically able to do the things they would like to do ("I can barely walk now, ballroom dancing lessons are out" or "Now that I'm sick, I don't feel well enough to take that painting class I always wanted to").

And, in these types of communities, gossip, nosiness, backbiting, etc. are the "hobbies" many of them take up.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2019, 06:20 AM
 
Location: Arizona
5,937 posts, read 5,293,703 times
Reputation: 17896
I live in a large 55+ and never heard one person say they wish they still worked. I have heard many that said they should have retired earlier and some that say they wish they planned better so they wouldn't need that part time job.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2019, 06:23 AM
 
6,211 posts, read 4,715,040 times
Reputation: 12684
A hobby is typically some sort of casual activity. Retirees often also talk about looking to "volunteer" or to find pass times or activities. These just seem like trying to waste time until one dies.

I have recommended looking at one's life, and passions and deciding what is important for goals and lifestyle in retirement. It turns out that is a novel idea for many people. They have spent their lives raising kids and on the trend mill. They just don't have any idea what they want to do on their own. I avoid being around people like that. I am sure there are many over 55 communities that are populated with such people. I have seen some. Not a place I would want to live.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2019, 06:58 AM
 
Location: NC
6,543 posts, read 7,956,796 times
Reputation: 13438
I imagine a lot of retirement hobbies are just busy work. Things to keep you occupied. Sometimes people are fulfilling a longtime desire that they were never able to attempt earlier in their life and that is a good thing. But some of us always found a chance to do a little bit of what we desired throughout our working years, and having more time for it may not coordinate with our older selves. For example rock climbing, or in my case, horse training. Most won't suddenly want to hike the entire appalachian trail at age 70.

Arts and crafts are fine if you are driven to produce. But what do you do with all that stuff. Hide it in the spare room? Sell it? Give it to the grandkids? Why bother, unless you are driven to produce but are willing to throw it away (figuratively or literally) when you are finished.

Getting in touch with nature and similar things may be fulfilling, but not for everyone. That's why fishing can be so enjoyable to several but you've gotta be in the right place. Other retirees appear to become attentive to increasing their longevity by structured exercise and that helps develop control over fears of becoming weak or incapacitated.

So I can see how some people will be bored when they retire. Not enough new frontiers that seem worthy of challenging.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2019, 07:30 AM
 
160 posts, read 88,912 times
Reputation: 530
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv4horses View Post
I imagine a lot of retirement hobbies are just busy work. Things to keep you occupied. Sometimes people are fulfilling a longtime desire that they were never able to attempt earlier in their life and that is a good thing. But some of us always found a chance to do a little bit of what we desired throughout our working years, and having more time for it may not coordinate with our older selves. For example rock climbing, or in my case, horse training. Most won't suddenly want to hike the entire appalachian trail at age 70.

Arts and crafts are fine if you are driven to produce. But what do you do with all that stuff. Hide it in the spare room? Sell it? Give it to the grandkids? Why bother, unless you are driven to produce but are willing to throw it away (figuratively or literally) when you are finished.

Getting in touch with nature and similar things may be fulfilling, but not for everyone. That's why fishing can be so enjoyable to several but you've gotta be in the right place. Other retirees appear to become attentive to increasing their longevity by structured exercise and that helps develop control over fears of becoming weak or incapacitated.

So I can see how some people will be bored when they retire. Not enough new frontiers that seem worthy of challenging.
Sell it on Etsy. Crafts are my hobby and I love it! I make & sell custom signs for vacation homes and have been doing it for over 10 years. I've made well over six figures doing my little hobby and I work when I want to. You could say that I'm driven to do it since it's what I enjoy doing.

Between my little business & other activities I'm never bored.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2019, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,647,282 times
Reputation: 10162
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv4horses View Post

Arts and crafts are fine if you are driven to produce. But what do you do with all that stuff. Hide it in the spare room? Sell it? Give it to the grandkids? Why bother, unless you are driven to produce but are willing to throw it away (figuratively or literally) when you are finished.
Around here, the crafty people have a group that gets together to make things for hospital patients. That seems to work out well. One of the things they like to make are pads that fit around a seat belt. Some people embroider covers for them, some do needlepoint, some enjoy sewing all the pieces together. They create quite a few over the course of a year as well as other such practical items and give them away as they hear about people who might need them.

When I got my cancer diagnosis, they gave me two. Love 'em. You have no idea how painful a seat belt can be until you have cancer surgery, these things genuinely help.

To me, this seems a little more satisfying than simply creating something that ends up in the back of your closet. And it's every bit as creative. You should see the beautiful needle work on the one they gave to me. I love it! I see some of the craft club members at other events and when they see that I am indeed driving around using their creations, that makes them happy. And I'm happy, too. I get a kick out of having them see that I'm using it. Plus, I love having such a pretty thing covering my seatbelt. I doubt that I could buy something that nice. And that reminds me, I'm especially happy that I didn't have to buy them. Win win!

Last edited by Piney Creek; 05-25-2019 at 08:23 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2019, 08:08 AM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,639,332 times
Reputation: 13541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Signs9 View Post
Sell it on Etsy. Crafts are my hobby and I love it! I make & sell custom signs for vacation homes and have been doing it for over 10 years. I've made well over six figures doing my little hobby and I work when I want to. You could say that I'm driven to do it since it's what I enjoy doing.

Between my little business & other activities I'm never bored.
Creating is way beyond a hobby for me and yes Iím driven but like you I sell work , I also exhibit .what doesnít get sold gets repurposed. After surviving cancer I find each day a joyous blessing so I am not just passing time, Iím embracing it. Good on you, isnít it wonderful to create.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2019, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,647,282 times
Reputation: 10162
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
A hobby is typically some sort of casual activity. Retirees often also talk about looking to "volunteer" or to find pass times or activities. These just seem like trying to waste time until one dies.

I have recommended looking at one's life, and passions and deciding what is important for goals and lifestyle in retirement. It turns out that is a novel idea for many people. They have spent their lives raising kids and on the trend mill. They just don't have any idea what they want to do on their own. I avoid being around people like that. I am sure there are many over 55 communities that are populated with such people. I have seen some. Not a place I would want to live.

To each his own. For me, worrying about goals in retirement feels too much like work. One thing I've loved about being retired is the feeling of being free. I just do whatever happens to amuse me each day, without wondering if it's accomplishing a goal (for the most part, although I do have a few goals at the gym). It works for me, but everyone's different. Do what works for you.

I do think it helps if you avoid watching hour after hour of tv. Although sometimes that's fun, too. I'm also a fan of doing things with other people. I enjoy volunteering at the rec center, and if you think a certain volunteer task is simply "busy work" I suggest trying something else. There are lots of ways to volunteer. It's sad to me to see people talking about volunteering in general as something that "seems like trying to waste time until one dies" but I guess it's not for everyone. For us it's been a fun thing to do, and a great way to meet friends who have similar interests.


Having said all this, retirement isn't for everyone. If you love your job and can continue doing it, I say go for it! Do whatever makes you happy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top