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Old 05-28-2019, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,550 posts, read 3,092,741 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
N I don't expect my interests and hobbies to change in the next 25 years. Do you think people's interests change just because their physical abilities do?

You may have a different opinion once you get to our age. And yes, in my observation it's true that many of your interests do change after you reach your senior years. And continue to change as you progress through your senior years. (Although I agree that most people also hold onto some of their interests.)

Some of this change has to do with physical ability, some just has to do with growing. Some people think you do all your growing up to about age 30, and then stop. Not at all. You may hit a long plateau from 30-50, but your senior years are another time when you'll experience all sorts of changes and growth.

Last edited by Piney Creek; 05-28-2019 at 08:52 AM..
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Old 05-28-2019, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,695 posts, read 28,353,463 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
But does the all age community want you there?
Very good question. Before moving to a senior residence in my new city, I lived in an area that consisted of mainly college students and young families. They were nice and friendly but not interested in making friends with older people.

My neighborhood of thirty years in my previous city went from mixed age to mostly Millennial. Looks given to gray hair, mine or any one of the long time neighbors, would seem to say, “What are you doing here?”

Living in an age designated community can bring lots of activities right to your doorstep. Eventually, people reach a point in which they can no longer drive. Living in a mixed age community, one can get stuck at home because they don’t have the ability to get to many places.

You can’t always depend upon your younger neighbors to drive you where you would like or need to go or include you in their social lives. At a good senior residence, there will be activities offered with a means to get to those outside the area.

Senior communities are often in mixed neighborhoods. Mine is. I see young people all the time: families going to the church in the corner, teenagers going to and from high school as well as older people. But at the end of the day, I am more engaged among my peers with whom I have the most in common.
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Old 05-28-2019, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,550 posts, read 3,092,741 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post

My neighborhood of thirty years in my previous city went from mixed age to mostly Millennial. Looks given to gray hair, mine or any one of the long time neighbors, would seem to say, “What are you doing here?”

LOL I thought we were the only people to have that happen. Guess it's more common that I thought. Not only got the dirty looks if we tried to socialize but on top of this, the neighbors also assumed that I would love to babysit their kids, feed their pets, give them a ride, watch for a package, etc. You know, because I'm old so I must have no life or anything better to do. Unfortunately, doing these things didn't make us friends, apparently. We'd invite them over for a BBQ or we'd ask if they wanted to go kayaking with us and they always said no. We'd see them getting together with other neighbors for a beer, but if we tried to join them, they weren't interested in our company. Apparently they thought we existed only to do favors for them. Finally gave up, and now I'm much happier living where lots of people are my age.
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Old 05-28-2019, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Yakima yes, an apartment!
8,340 posts, read 6,742,370 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happyinca View Post
My husband and I moved to an over 55 community, I am 58 and he is 61. I retired from a government job, took two years off, and now work part-time in a job I really like, working 25 hours a week. The community and the people are very nice. What I find interesting is many of the people tell me how lucky I am that I am still working and how much they miss working. I am talking about people in their 80's and 90's. They tell me things like "never quit working". Tonight at a community BBQ a 90 year old couple, married 66 years were telling me they wish they were still working. They are bored. Another 88 year old neighbor tells me how bored she is and they tell me of all the great jobs they had and how much they miss it. They tell me "never retire!"

It is sort of like the twilight zone. When I worked at a high stress government job, all the stressed out zombies (I was one of them) were counting down to retirement, how soon could we retire and enjoy life. It was like a prison term, how many years do you have to put in until you escape? We were all obsessed with retirement planning.

Now I feel like I have a good balance, happy working part-time, money comes in handy. Having so many seniors tell me how much they miss working makes me wonder. Is this just a human thing, if you are working hard you dream of retiring, and now my elderly neighbors are bored and dream of still working.
That sounds so sad. They could be volunteering for hospital help, mentoring young people...But they have to actually want it... They can easily find their niche by calling around to charities who want helpers...
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Old 05-28-2019, 11:11 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,550 posts, read 3,092,741 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happyinca View Post
Tonight at a community BBQ a 90 year old couple, married 66 years were telling me they wish they were still working. They are bored. Another 88 year old neighbor tells me how bored she is and they tell me of all the great jobs they had and how much they miss it. They tell me "never retire!"

If you love your job, I'll agree. I do have to wonder, though, if people who are 90 and 88 really know what the working world is like, anymore. If they haven't worked in 20+ years, it's possible they've romanticized it over time. And even if they haven't, the working world has gotten much nastier and stressful for many people. At least, for most of the people I know. If the last time they worked was in the 1980s or 1990s, do they really have any idea what working is like these days?

Last edited by Piney Creek; 05-28-2019 at 11:24 AM..
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Old 05-28-2019, 11:19 AM
 
5,252 posts, read 4,651,130 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
LOL I thought we were the only people to have that happen. Guess it's more common that I thought. Not only got the dirty looks if we tried to socialize but on top of this, the neighbors also assumed that I would love to babysit their kids, feed their pets, give them a ride, watch for a package, etc. You know, because I'm old so I must have no life or anything better to do. Unfortunately, doing these things didn't make us friends, apparently. We'd invite them over for a BBQ or we'd ask if they wanted to go kayaking with us and they always said no. We'd see them getting together with other neighbors for a beer, but if we tried to join them, they weren't interested in our company. Apparently they thought we existed only to do favors for them. Finally gave up, and now I'm much happier living where lots of people are my age.
Your post is a reminder of the fact that many among the youthful look upon their elders as the "parental" group, and the act of assistance to them is an expected role for us oldies. Yes, if they want something they don't think that we would or ever could, refuse them. In their thoughts, we are "there" mainly to serve, and their role is to be entertained, always, first and foremost is the constant need to be entertained or just entertaining themselves on their phones.

I'm not angry about any of that, after all, they are the product of a society which elevated their existence to that of near royalty in their formative years. Young people see us as totally disconnected beings, ones who can't/won't get into their space, in short, they are in their own world and see us as a kind of alien who they have no shared cultural ties with.

We had a BBQ yesterday with my wife's kids and their kids, I really enjoyed their conversation, listening to them was a view into how the grandkids were slowly adjusting to adulthood, their stories though were mainly centered on their financial/job woes complete with the inference that my wife and I wouldn't/couldn't understand the situation they find themselves in, as though they thought we always didn't work and always had plenty of money. Her children and their spouses spoke among themselves, and the grand's among their own group.

After three hours of their company I found myself wanting to talk with people of my own cohort, not because I didn't want to hear what they had to say---No, it was mainly due to the fact that in those three hours they never once directed any of their conversation to me..They talked around me among themselves, I understood their lack of social acclimation as it applies to their relationships with the elderly, but, it is also noteworthy that I don't pursue much of a relationship with them either. So, being among our own age group may not be the ideal situation for many, but for me, an over fifty five community seems to be in sync with our modern day cultural norm of voluntary age segregation...
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Old 05-28-2019, 11:25 AM
 
Location: Unlike most on CD, I'm not afraid to give my location: Milwaukee, WI.
1,780 posts, read 4,132,788 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristineVA View Post
OP, my mother (75) could probably relate to you.
She worked all her life and for the last 30 years, was in a very high-stress government job.


High-stress government job is an oxymoron.

Just kidding. I'm sure a few are..
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Old 05-28-2019, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,695 posts, read 28,353,463 times
Reputation: 35862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
LOL I thought we were the only people to have that happen. Guess it's more common that I thought. Not only got the dirty looks if we tried to socialize but on top of this, the neighbors also assumed that I would love to babysit their kids, feed their pets, give them a ride, watch for a package, etc. You know, because I'm old so I must have no life or anything better to do. Unfortunately, doing these things didn't make us friends, apparently. We'd invite them over for a BBQ or we'd ask if they wanted to go kayaking with us and they always said no. We'd see them getting together with other neighbors for a beer, but if we tried to join them, they weren't interested in our company. Apparently they thought we existed only to do favors for them. Finally gave up, and now I'm much happier living where lots of people are my age.
Oh yeah, I forgot about the babysitting part. Ironic because I don't have kids of my own. There's a reason for that so I certainly wasn't I interested in watching theirs. Most didn't have kids though, but all the other stuff; package receiving, feed the pets etc was something would ask me to do. It was okay if I was not busy but the problem was, they would make their plans first, then tell me they needed me assuming I would be available at any given time.

While we could have friendly over-the-fence chats, that's as far as the socializing would go.
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Old 05-28-2019, 05:16 PM
 
6,279 posts, read 4,156,214 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Surfer Guy View Post
I'd be bored out of my mind in a "55 community."

What do people do there besides play cards and gossip? Hanging around a bunch of old people would suck too. How many times can you listen to someone prattle on about his/her medical problems or grandkids before you want to pull your hair out?

There are plenty of 55+ year old people who have the mindset of 30 years olds. They are active, travel, go hiking/boating/whatever, and have interesting lives. I get the impression that "55 communities" are more for old people who act old.
whoa, talk about stereotyping YIKES. Okay 55+ community is not my cup of tea since I enjoy living within a diverse population BUT wow! The only people who suck are people you don't have anything in common with, and that applies to any age group. And if you think only older people can blither on about things that don't interest you, then you haven't been paying attention
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Old 05-28-2019, 05:20 PM
 
6,279 posts, read 4,156,214 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
Somehow I don't think leaving your apartment to go downstairs for a few hours and sit and eat is akin to running, walking all over a festival or other event, rock climbing, dance classes, frequent music rehearsals, hiking, painting on location, traveling, going for a long drive, going to concerts, or any of the other things a person may have enjoyed when they were younger.
who said it was. sheesh!
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