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Old 05-31-2019, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,596 posts, read 4,680,291 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv4horses View Post
All of these comments about not wanting to hear about someone's past life is just nuts to me. I love to hear the stories about something I would never have known about or considered in the past. It defines the person and is a window to a slightly different realm than mine.

Now if the purpose is solely to brag or to attempt to make others feel inferior, that's another issue. And unfortunately some people feel inferior just knowing they were slackers all their life, but seriously that must be a distinct minority since slackers don't care anyway.
Every cruise we've ever been on -- and we've been on a lot, mostly high-end cruise lines like Crystal and Regent Seven Seas but also Holland America -- we were seated at a group table for dinner unless we specified otherwise. The first night everyone talked about either what their career was before retirement or what their current vocation (not necessarily job) was. It got the ball rolling. If some people are using the information to construct a social pecking order in their minds or they want to look down on us because we're nerds, it wouldn't bother me. I'll never see these people again, unless we mutually agree to keep in touch after the cruise.

Maybe the people who don't want to talk about the recent past are in Witness Protection. Or retired from a career in the CIA. What better place to hide than an enormous low-income senior community where everyone drives a golf cart?


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Old 05-31-2019, 12:12 PM
 
5,424 posts, read 3,442,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv4horses View Post

All of these comments about not wanting to hear about someone's past life is just nuts to me.
I completely and totally agree!! I definitely want to know what a person spent their life doing before retirement -

including what their career, profession, or jobs were.

Last edited by matisse12; 05-31-2019 at 01:36 PM..
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Old 05-31-2019, 12:17 PM
 
5,424 posts, read 3,442,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post

It seems incredibly sad to me to pack up and leave behind a lifetime of friends and acquaintances and then start over with meet ups and board games.
But not everyone has lived a 'lifetime' in the place they are leaving. Plenty of people have moved around and definitely have not been in a place for a 'lifetime' or even near a lifetime. People have lived in the places they are leaving for varying lengths of time. Some have spent a career in a location.

A good number of people have not lived a 'lifetime' in the place they happen to be when reaching age 55 or 62. And a huge number left their place of growing up eons ago. Some have spent a career in a certain location.

And not everyone has a lifetime group of friends and acquaintances or even a group of friends whether they've been in a place for nearly a lifetime, many years, or a shorter period. And acquaintances can exist anywhere.

Or if they do have some friends and acquaintances, maybe they aren't a compelling group and they do not mind leaving them for something new and different.

But even if one has lived a decade or a couple decades in a location, not every location is worth sticking around for.

Retirees leave places all the time for a new location. You can't place your model of living on Long Island for a long time and you sharing a dwelling with your daughter and her family (or living right next to each other) with the ways of living of others.

I do agree with you about cultural opportunities though, and some places being cultural wastelands.

And I agree about the board games - I'd rather shoot myself than spend time playing board games or many types of cards or sit-down games of any sort. (except for Scrabble) And I'd rather shoot myself than go on a cruise.

Meet-ups can be real duds from what I've read - and quite successful in other locales. In some locales, they might not be the type of people one is seeking.

Last edited by matisse12; 05-31-2019 at 01:37 PM..
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Old 05-31-2019, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,647,282 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
I completely and totally agree!! I definitely want to know what a person spent their life doing.

Totally got what you were getting at, but just for the sake of teasing, I do hope you meant to say life before retirement. It's not like life is over once you retire. For me, the best part of my life is just beginning.
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Old 05-31-2019, 01:50 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,003 posts, read 54,508,374 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
But not everyone has lived a 'lifetime' in the place they are leaving. Plenty of people have moved around and definitely have not been in a place for a 'lifetime' or even near a lifetime. People have lived in the places they are leaving for varying lengths of time. Some have spent a career in a location.

A good number of people have not lived a 'lifetime' in the place they happen to be when reaching age 55 or 62. And a huge number left their place of growing up eons ago. Some have spent a career in a certain location.

And not everyone has a lifetime group of friends and acquaintances or even a group of friends whether they've been in a place for nearly a lifetime, many years, or a shorter period. And acquaintances can exist anywhere.

Or if they do have some friends and acquaintances, maybe they aren't a compelling group and they do not mind leaving them for something new and different.

But even if one has lived a decade or a couple decades in a location, not every location is worth sticking around for.

Retirees leave places all the time for a new location. You can't place your model of living on Long Island for a long time and you sharing a dwelling with your daughter and her family (or living right next to each other) with the ways of living of others.

I do agree with you about cultural opportunities though, and some places being cultural wastelands.

And I agree about the board games - I'd rather shoot myself than spend time playing board games or many types of cards or sit-down games of any sort. (except for Scrabble) And I'd rather shoot myself than go on a cruise.

Meet-ups can be real duds from what I've read - and quite successful in other locales. In some locales, they might not be the type of people one is seeking.
I read it the same way. I didn't have that life. I lived in the best place I could to raise my kid with family around while I commuted to NYC for work, but when she graduated from high school, there was no reason for me to stay in that town. I wasn't leaving behind a "lifetime of friends". I was leaving behind a part of life that was done and over with.

I moved to the place that would be the best for the next part of my life: Single, older adulthood, working in the most satisfying and busiest stage of my career, so I moved to where I could still commute to the city but be near the ocean and perhaps make friends who were more like me than the stereotypical suburbanites I'd lived among before.

I'll move again within the next few years. I have several options, but I still have obligations to an elderly mom and can't in good conscience bail permanently to hundreds of miles away at the moment. Besides, I also play Scrabble, and my 90-year-old mother is the only person I know who will play and who is actually good competition.

Re meetups, I've never gone to one that's merely for social mixing. I joined one for writers, because that's what I like to do. There were all sorts of interesting people there, all ages, including an 82-year-old who had co-written a YA novel with her granddaughter and was working on her next one alone.
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Old 05-31-2019, 02:09 PM
 
7,790 posts, read 4,381,326 times
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One thing I do in considering possible retirement destinations is check out the Meetups in the area. In my experience, they're more for singles than couples (?), but finding others with whom to share some of my interests and hobbies is a deciding factor.
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Old 05-31-2019, 02:42 PM
 
6,212 posts, read 4,718,283 times
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I have never had any issue finding people, clubs or other groups that are dedicated to specific interests, activities or hobbies. In fact I am not sure how Meetups would help. For example most serious photographers would likely be found through a local camera club. Those can be found through google or facebook or from national organizations that list local clubs.
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Old 05-31-2019, 02:46 PM
 
7,790 posts, read 4,381,326 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
I have never had any issue finding people, clubs or other groups that are dedicated to specific interests, activities or hobbies. In fact I am not sure how Meetups would help. For example most serious photographers would likely be found through a local camera club. Those can be found through google or facebook or from national organizations that list local clubs.
Depends on the hobby. I find it a pretty good indicator of how active people in a particular town are in general.
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Old 05-31-2019, 05:36 PM
 
Location: not where you are
8,134 posts, read 7,637,849 times
Reputation: 6931
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
I have never had any issue finding people, clubs or other groups that are dedicated to specific interests, activities or hobbies. In fact I am not sure how Meetups would help. For example most serious photographers would likely be found through a local camera club. Those can be found through google or facebook or from national organizations that list local clubs.

Who said anything about having trouble finding other resources to interact with groups in activities or hobbies of interest? Meetups are just another resource, even well known groups like The Sierra Club, has used meetup as a vehicle to bring more members to there events. There's no one all encompassing way to do anything some people like to make use of various outlets things that are availed to them to enjoy life why others seem to have an issue understanding this is a bit of a puzzle. For that matter why even come on a forum, I'm sure same people who haven't any issues have other outlets they could use to find people to talk with rather than spend time with folks talking on said places like this.

It's funny because in my town, there are people who work for the city as Ambassadors who organize and promote activities, raise money and do all kinds of things for the people of this town to keep make sure it grows and prospers even they have a meetup group. I've already been to a couple of the events they promoted on through their meetup group and that's where I first found out about them and they are doing great things for the town. They are one very supportive organization many of their activities aid womens and childrens shelters as well as assisting in acclimating the general public to the town.

I don't mean to sound like a commercial for meetup, but it has it's place for some people ride aside other resources. As far as types of people I've met people from all walks of life rich not rich, gov't workers, retires, lawyers, medical professionals, scientist, IT folks, professors, students, people who's careers were raising their family and really it didn't matter what they did or didn't do as long as like I previously said, they were nice, peacful and respectful toward each other.

I have seen people get kicked out of groups, but, those are the types that seem to just seem to always like to stir things up or tend to be disrespectful. There are just people who resent other people enjoying themselves and will always find fault, no matter.
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Old 05-31-2019, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
97 posts, read 34,093 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
One thing I do in considering possible retirement destinations is check out the Meetups in the area. In my experience, they're more for singles than couples (?), but finding others with whom to share some of my interests and hobbies is a deciding factor.
Iím doing the same thing in scouting out my snowbirding destinations. I also look at the newcomers clubs in the area.
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