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Old 06-02-2019, 11:47 AM
 
1,226 posts, read 1,258,573 times
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Another matter to consider is that babies conceived by older adults are at higher risk for birth defects and altered/reduced cognitive functioning.
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Old 06-02-2019, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,609 posts, read 4,680,291 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewUser View Post
I was 45 and my wife was 40 when we adopted our second child. I'd like to retire when I'm 60, but our son will still be in high school. It adds another layer of complexity when trying to lay out a retirement budget. We started a college fund for him and it probably contains 2 year's worth of college expenses so far. We also plan to downsize our house before he goes to college. My strategy so far has just been to sock away as much in my 401K as possible and hope that it works out.
This is probably going to sound mean, but “hope” is not a strategy.

OP, you should take a clear-eyed view of this, possibly the most important decision you will ever make. You are blessed with the ability to retire relatively young with medical. Many of us would have liked to have been in your shoes.

I was invited on a hike today. Three miles with some hilly terrain and temps will be in the upper nineties. Ten years ago I could have done it. Today, at 65, I cannot. Bad knee and my stamina is shot.

Listen to what people are saying. Don’t wind up with hope as your only strategy.
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Old 06-02-2019, 12:43 PM
 
2,032 posts, read 858,396 times
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The only big expenditure that kids will cause you is to pay for their college. But you don't have to do that. My kids lived at home, went to city university and took out student loans. Their college didn't cost me more then a few thousand dollars each. If your house is paid off and you have no debt at 62, you can retire if your kids are still in high school. The only added expense would be health care, but you ought to be able to save for that based on what you currently make and have. Maybe you don't want kids, but having to work until you die is just a rationalization not to do it. It doesn't have to be a that way. Will you have to cut down on non-essentials and live more frugally? Possibly. But that's what people have always done to raise children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mstrlucky74 View Post
So I'm 45 and my wife is 40. We are trying to have kids. I was on the fence but really do want children. My wife had some health issues that out having them on hold as well. I know we are starting late but what will be will be. I do have a question and concern regarding retirmement and whether the kids will ruin that plan due tomorrow older age..lol.
Here's a financial.snapshot and I understand the future is uncertain regarding financial obstacles that will come up over the years.

I make about $170k
Wife about $50k
We will both continue to work

Have about $250k left.on out mortgage with about $100k equity.
We have about $600k in 401k accounts and will continue to max out.
$15k emergency fund
Other total debt is about $7k

I'm thinking having kids this late I'm basically going to have to work until at least 70. I'd really like to get out of work force at about 62.

I'm in union and will also have lifetime medical and pension of about $3k month.

Will having kids this late have me working until I'm almost dead? I know they cost a whole lot..lol

Thanks
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Old 06-02-2019, 12:51 PM
 
462 posts, read 106,202 times
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Personally I wouldn't retire if your kids are just in HS and still dependents.
Retire after they are done and finished schooling and out living on their own.
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Old 06-02-2019, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Arizona
182 posts, read 111,543 times
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OP....There's no one size fits all answer.
People who tend to be good with money manage to raise kids on much less than you're making all the time and still retire sooner rather than later. It's really about your priorities, whether or not you have good saving habits etc., not how old you are when you have them.
If anything, having them later in life based on your savings plan/income will put you miles ahead of the young couples who go into parenthood with no savings, no long term retirement plans etc.

Although you were asking the question from a financial point of view, TMSRetired brings up a good point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TMSRetired View Post
Personally I wouldn't retire if your kids are just in HS and still dependents.
Retire after they are done and finished schooling and out living on their own.
Retiring at the age of 62 when kids have flown the coop is much different than retiring while they're still minors. In a word...freedom. The freedom to do what many retirees dream of doing (travel, not keeping a schedule, etc. ) is much harder to do when you have younger kids.
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Old 06-02-2019, 01:42 PM
 
1,328 posts, read 2,697,129 times
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We were also 40 and 45 when we adopted. We approached it this way, we were able to save quite bit in the 1st 16 years of marriage, we had a similar portfolio. That portfolio was allowed to grow while the child grew. Compared to having kids earlier and not being able to put as much away. We can compare with our friends - similar salaries and lifestyles, and we were way ahead. She is now 16 and DH is still working and I recently retired. We are luckily we are also retired military and have the post 9-11 GI to pay for her college, but might not even need that, thankfully she gets great grades. As well as retirement pay and medical. We are more mature parents, some of her friends parents could be my kids, but we are more patient, less stressed and our daughter reflects that in her behavior.

Just a thought...
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Old 06-02-2019, 03:10 PM
 
Location: New Mexico
6,550 posts, read 3,653,233 times
Reputation: 12306
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparkypeanut View Post
Having one child and no more might be the best compromise.
My best friend had her one and only at age 41 and they are VERY happy. It took years of trying.
If you decide to go for it, do it right away! There is no time to lose.
My wife was 41, an "elderly primigravida" according to the doctors and she had one refuse to accept her as a patient as too risky. We had one daughter who was perfect and we ended up being the " cool parents" according to her school friends. I was a few years younger than my wife (her ace in the hole according to her doctor) and we did fine. We were the oldest parents at daycare, dancing class, gymnastics, basketball, track meets, etc. We were settled financially and used home equity LOC for college costs at a state university. I would say go for it (soon) but find a good doctor and consider genetic counselling if the doctor recommends it or you have concerns. My daughter is 35 now and seems to be on the same path.

We both retired early and were not under any hardship. Our daughter was still in high school at the time.
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Old 06-02-2019, 03:28 PM
 
5,425 posts, read 3,442,945 times
Reputation: 13698
Quote:
Originally Posted by NSHL10 View Post

Many plan to work to age 70, far fewer are actually physically able to do it.
excellent point and insightful. So true. (and some are not allowed (by various means) to stay in their workplace)

Last edited by matisse12; 06-02-2019 at 03:53 PM..
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Old 06-02-2019, 03:57 PM
 
261 posts, read 67,465 times
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Kids don’t have to be expensive. We had 3.
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Old 06-02-2019, 06:40 PM
 
5,420 posts, read 15,463,074 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
This is probably going to sound mean, but “hope” is not a strategy
No worries. No offense taken.
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