Children and Retirement (pension, physically, alcohol, move)

[Mstrlucky74]

So I'm 45 and my wife is 40. We are trying to have kids. I was on the fence but really do want children. My wife had some health issues that out having them on hold as well. I know we are starting late but what will be will be. I do have a question and concern regarding retirmement and whether the kids will ruin that plan due tomorrow older age..lol.
Here's a financial.snapshot and I understand the future is uncertain regarding financial obstacles that will come up over the years.

I make about $170k
Wife about $50k
We will both continue to work

Have about $250k left.on out mortgage with about $100k equity.
We have about $600k in 401k accounts and will continue to max out.
$15k emergency fund
Other total debt is about $7k

I'm thinking having kids this late I'm basically going to have to work until at least 70. I'd really like to get out of work force at about 62.

I'm in union and will also have lifetime medical and pension of about $3k month.

Will having kids this late have me working until I'm almost dead? I know they cost a whole lot..lol

Thanks

[harpoonalt]

Assuming you conceive right away. your first kid will finish college when you're about 68. Any additional kids after that.


Aside from the age thing, kids are extremely expensive. When they're little, it's daycare. As they get older it's sports and travel. Then come the driving years where you stay up all night worrying about them. We won't talk about the teen years or no one would have kids. Then comes college. In 20 years it ought to be about $100 grand a year, plus expenses.

Not to dissuade you, but the reality is if you're going to have them, save as much as you can and in your name and preferably in retirement accounts where they get counted for less in financial aid deals. 18 years seems like a long time before college, but with kids, your life flies by as you'll always be busy doing something. Save your money, be healthy so you can chase them around, or move them into dorm rooms.


Even 18 years out, I keep tabs on the college funding rules and the way they figure your portion. College is so expensive that positioning your self to shield you assets and get the most aid is important. We saved money in the kids names and they took a much higher percentage of their money into consideration. We learned the hard way. The rules change so it's important to keep tabs on this stuff.


Cheers!

[fluffythewondercat]

I'm not saying this is the inevitable consequence of having children late in life or that it's even a common occurrence, OP, but it has happened that parents who had their retirement all planned out see it vanish when their adult child boomerangs back home or goes off the rails with drugs and alcohol. Sometimes they find themselves raising their grandchildren, too.

We were able to sock money and assets away to ensure a great retirement mostly because we decided against having children. I've never regretted that decision.

[sparkypeanut]

Having one child and no more might be the best compromise.
My best friend had her one and only at age 41 and they are VERY happy. It took years of trying.
If you decide to go for it, do it right away! There is no time to lose.

[NYgal1542]

If I could go back and do it again, I would have chosen to not have kids.
In addition to that, I would not have married the man I married.

Much too late for second chances, but definitely food for thought.

[luv4horses]

Chance of producing kids falls off drastically as the mother gets older. You will probably have a 1% chance now compared to 15-20 yrs ago.

A few years back I read that typical cost to raise a child is about $250K, so by starting late you will have an easier financial path. It's great that you can have this choice.

You could also consider adopting or fostering, or becoming involved with children in another way like mentoring or coaching.

[NSHL10]

Many plan to work to age 70, far fewer are actually physically able to do it.

[YorktownGal]

Having children is such a joy in life. I know they are expensive. I was never a very maternal person, but now I couldn't imagine my life without children. It's not a logical financial equation. My personal benefits will outweigh any of their costs.

Half the cost of children nowadays is parents trying to keep up and outspend each other. This isn't necessary. My kids learned to share a bedroom. No one had their own TV's or computers. We limited summer camps to the town's low cost one. It is doubtable.

Think of this way, your children will get more student financial aid if you are retired. They might attend a trade school. Who knows what will be 25 years from now?

I'm in union and will also have lifetime medical and pension of about $3k month.

Basically, compared with most non-union employees, you will be rich!

[bbtondo]

OP: Sounds like you're doing well in life and looking at a very nice retirement in the future. Do you want to risk that? Having a child at this point in your life will be different than if you are 30. There is no right or wrong answer here.

Have a heart to heart conversation with your spouse. What life do you want for your future? Yes, kids will change the path that you take, be it good or bad.

We took the no kids path. So far we have had a wonderful life and are currently having a wonderful retirement. We have many friend's kids, nieces and nephews that we enjoy. We get to enjoy those kids without having to deal with the bad stuff. LOL

With your pension and healthcare it sounds like you could retire even earlier. 56? 57? etc. How does that sound?

This is such a personal decision. I wish you luck!

[NewUser]

I was 45 and my wife was 40 when we adopted our second child. I'd like to retire when I'm 60, but our son will still be in high school. It adds another layer of complexity when trying to lay out a retirement budget. We started a college fund for him and it probably contains 2 year's worth of college expenses so far. We also plan to downsize our house before he goes to college. My strategy so far has just been to sock away as much in my 401K as possible and hope that it works out.