U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-14-2019, 04:48 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,662,101 times
Reputation: 10169

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
Just because the OP is not satisfied with retired life does not mean they had a job they loved. In fact, I would bet the opposite is more likely. I bet the working life was just "OK" as well.

I agree with the basic point of your post, but not with the assumption that the OP is not satisfied with retired life.


From the initial post:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
The other day my oldest niece asked me how i was enjoying retirement and i said "It's Ok".

When did "OK" come to mean "not satisfied"?

Sometimes I wonder about this current zeitgeist, that unless you are always experiencing an extreme (in this case, joy), then you must be "not satisfied." Whatever happened to appreciating all the levels in between?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-14-2019, 05:12 AM
 
6,307 posts, read 4,752,208 times
Reputation: 12914
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
........


When did "OK" come to mean "not satisfied"?
.......
When the OP started the thread to complain that her retirement was just OK....... and when so much more is possible, especially for someone who is still young and retired very young.....

I have never had any friends or relatives even ask if my retirement was OK. Anyone who knows me even slightly knows I mix bad health and rest with endless other endeavors. I take courses, travel, do photography, enter exhibitions and shows, paint, and work on expressing myself visually and artistically. No, life is not constant joy and excitement but there is lots more than "just OK".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2019, 05:27 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,662,101 times
Reputation: 10169
^^ I'm happy for you, I guess, but your interpretation of what the OP is saying makes me sad for you. It sounds like you are running on momentum, which is a wonderful feeling but also can lead to false expectations. When the day comes that you aren't in a state of constant elation will you then go to the opposite extreme and feel your life is dis-satisfying? I hope not, that would be sad.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2019, 06:41 AM
 
596 posts, read 134,131 times
Reputation: 1215
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
I agree with the basic point of your post, but not with the assumption that the OP is not satisfied with retired life.


From the initial post:



When did "OK" come to mean "not satisfied"?

Sometimes I wonder about this current zeitgeist, that unless you are always experiencing an extreme (in this case, joy), then you must be "not satisfied." Whatever happened to appreciating all the levels in between?
Someone earlier mentioned this is not the first time the OP has posted about this...feeling encumbered and not able to travel.

Maybe after 15 years or so of that type of retirement it's time for a second retirement.
One can get themselves into a comfortable rut but feel that something is missing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2019, 06:46 AM
 
6,307 posts, read 4,752,208 times
Reputation: 12914
"running on momentum". I have no idea what that is supposed to mean.

I am not good at expressing some philosophy of living, but I think Matisse did a pretty good job in post #118. Some level of satisfaction and happiness can come from being "self directed". To me that means knowing oneself and what is important and of interest. When you approach life that way, you pursue your passions. To me that means a quest for knowledge and understanding and the ability and desire to apply them to achieving personal goals. For others those interests might be gardening, or pets, or social interactions. And for all of us, as expressed by Matisse, there is a need to find joy in the simple, mundane parts of life.

To me there is a sadness in the number of people who seem to have lost all focus on their interests and passions. Many people jump into retirement and become lost without direction, self direction or otherwise. Many retirees move from mild boredom to major depression. There is no doubt that depression is a serious concern for many older people.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2019, 07:13 AM
 
6,307 posts, read 4,752,208 times
Reputation: 12914
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
^^ I'm happy for you, I guess, but your interpretation of what the OP is saying makes me sad for you. It sounds like you are running on momentum, which is a wonderful feeling but also can lead to false expectations. When the day comes that you aren't in a state of constant elation will you then go to the opposite extreme and feel your life is dis-satisfying? I hope not, that would be sad.
I just read this again and was even more dumbfounded. "Constant elation". OMG if that were only so.

Here I am starting the day with aches and pains and all sorts of issues from a chronic disease that the physicians can only partially identify. I just got a disappointing email. I have applied for a number of juried art exhibitions and grants. I just got another rejection with the typical explanation that they had lots of applicants and few available awards. To sort of rub salt in the wound, later today I have to frame some prints for a group show at a local library. Not exactly something to be elated about.

In the absense of constant elation, I am about to take my aches and pains to the archery range. I am not expecting to do well, but I can make the effort and maybe have some success with mind of matter.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2019, 07:23 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,269 posts, read 6,356,923 times
Reputation: 9895
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
"running on momentum". I have no idea what that is supposed to mean.

I am not good at expressing some philosophy of living, but I think Matisse did a pretty good job in post #118. Some level of satisfaction and happiness can come from being "self directed". To me that means knowing oneself and what is important and of interest. When you approach life that way, you pursue your passions. To me that means a quest for knowledge and understanding and the ability and desire to apply them to achieving personal goals. For others those interests might be gardening, or pets, or social interactions. And for all of us, as expressed by Matisse, there is a need to find joy in the simple, mundane parts of life.

To me there is a sadness in the number of people who seem to have lost all focus on their interests and passions. Many people jump into retirement and become lost without direction, self direction or otherwise. Many retirees move from mild boredom to major depression. There is no doubt that depression is a serious concern for many older people.
Some people are not good at self directing. They need a coach or a life partner. Take my husband as an example, he is an introvert, like to listen to music, read, and look around the garden with his binoculars.
I knew he couldnít be doing that all the time, no matter how much he likes what heís done no. So I signed up for things. It turns out, he likes the social interaction with other people as well, not just me since Iím the extrovert. He just doesnít know how much he enjoys meeting and talking to people his own age.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2019, 09:17 AM
 
5,456 posts, read 2,843,566 times
Reputation: 10250
Quote:
Originally Posted by TMSRetired View Post
Someone earlier mentioned this is not the first time the OP has posted about this...feeling encumbered and not able to travel.

Maybe after 15 years or so of that type of retirement it's time for a second retirement.
One can get themselves into a comfortable rut but feel that something is missing.
OP specifically cited pet obligations as being the encumberment. It is up to her to choose how to deal with solutions to that. The one person brave enough to suggest she give them away (yeah, it was said very bluntly) was criticized. There are other ways to allow some freedom for travel, as others have mentioned...IF the OP can allow someone else to care for the animals. Some owners refuse to do that. Someone in her 50s told me she had literally never, ever gone on vacation. She had had dogs since childhood. Wow, thatís a long time to never get away.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2019, 09:19 AM
 
6,643 posts, read 1,372,282 times
Reputation: 16715
I didn't think I could relate or add anything to this thread until I realized that my husband and I are going out for a nice dinner followed by a night at the theater this evening, and I am just feeling "ho hum" about it, while even just ten years ago, I would have been very excited and thrilled. Yes, I know that is terrible to say, but I am thinking that just as there is a line in "It's a Wonderful Life", where an older man says, "Youth is wasted on the wrong people", I think that "Retirement is wasted on the wrong people" in some cases.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seBInAPI32A

I truly feel I need to get off my butt and start developing some more interests, but I just need a "kick in the butt" to get me started! (I don't want to hijack this thread, but any ideas on how to do this would be appreciated. I do have a part-time job that I enjoy, btw, but no hobbies.)

Last edited by katharsis; 06-14-2019 at 09:48 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2019, 09:32 AM
 
7,257 posts, read 8,659,196 times
Reputation: 9151
Having a pet (which is a privilege as well as a big responsibility) does tie one down, no doubt about that. Especially if you don't have family (or staff) who can help take care if your pet(s) and willing/able to care for and spend some quality time with them if/when you travel. The ability to be spontaneous and just take off on an adventure is constrained if your pet(s) cannot travel with you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top