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Old 06-12-2019, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Fairfield, CT
5,843 posts, read 8,605,080 times
Reputation: 6286

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
Well.... the original post that they reacted to had a suggestion that many would find unnecessarily cruel. Although you may not realize it, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that it wasn't intentional.

You recommended getting new homes for her pets so she could travel. This might be an ok suggestion if they were puppies. Puppies can easily adjust to a new home. But she doesn't have puppies, and in addition, the way you said it was a little cavalier. It sounded like you didn't understand that pets aren't things, they're living creatures. Many people, especially retirees, think of them as their children; to them it's like suggesting someone give away a child so they could travel. I think I also understand your POV, I know that not everyone sees pets in that way. Some simply see animals who they presume would quickly adjust. In reality, her dogs would be devastated if she did such a thing. Especially the elderly ones, who might not survive such a thing. Most people only give away pets for serious reasons, such as being too sick to care for them.
I would never give away my dog. She''s like my child.
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Old 06-12-2019, 05:28 PM
 
13,319 posts, read 25,558,234 times
Reputation: 20505
When I've traveled (mostly while working and vacationing in Colorado, living back East) I boarded my many dogs. Very expensive. A housesitter would have been as expensive for that many, plus one was a bite risk and another very frightened of people and shy.

I have never given away a dog. I've had to euthanize several, either for aged medical reasons or unmanageable aggression. Interestingly, the aggressive ones were pretty much all dogs I got from people, not from a rescue or shelter situation.

My house would be very empty without my dogs. I really feel at home in my houses, especially in this house in Colorado, and just don't feel much desire to go anywhere else. If that changes, I'll pay someone or board them. Oh, my tenant in my rental house is a professional vet tech and house/pet sitter! there ya go.
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Old 06-12-2019, 06:12 PM
 
25,976 posts, read 32,990,963 times
Reputation: 32161
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
Well.... the original post that they reacted to had a suggestion that many would find unnecessarily cruel. Although you may not realize it, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that it wasn't intentional.

You recommended getting new homes for her pets so she could travel. This might be an ok suggestion if they were puppies. Puppies can easily adjust to a new home. But she doesn't have puppies, and in addition, the way you said it was a little cavalier. It sounded like you didn't understand that pets aren't things, they're living creatures. Many people, especially retirees, think of them as their children; to them it's like suggesting someone give away a child so they could travel. I think I also understand your POV, I know that not everyone sees pets in that way. Some simply see animals who they presume would quickly adjust. In reality, her dogs would be devastated if she did such a thing. Especially the elderly ones, who might not survive such a thing. Most people only give away pets for serious reasons, such as being too sick to care for them.
My original response was made prior to the OP stating that they had 8 dogs. I had no idea until I came back and read this. And honestly - they sounded like they were really unhappy and trying to figure out if they needed to change their life. I did not nor did I intend to sound "cruel". I would always suggest that someone rehome an animal if they found that they were unable to provide the proper care and environment.

As far as this:
like suggesting someone give away a child so they could travel.

Well that actually isn't an issue for most people. My son was my best traveling buddy. He took his first flight at 8 weeks old.
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Old 06-12-2019, 10:05 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
941 posts, read 206,152 times
Reputation: 1386
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
My original response was made prior to the OP stating that they had 8 dogs. I had no idea until I came back and read this. And honestly - they sounded like they were really unhappy and trying to figure out if they needed to change their life. I did not nor did I intend to sound "cruel". I would always suggest that someone rehome an animal if they found that they were unable to provide the proper care and environment.

As far as this:
like suggesting someone give away a child so they could travel.

Well that actually isn't an issue for most people. My son was my best traveling buddy. He took his first flight at 8 weeks old.
Well, there are weirdoes out there who want to bring their dogs everywhere as if they're human - movie theaters, airplanes, restaurants, sporting events, etc.
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Old 06-12-2019, 10:15 PM
 
5,423 posts, read 2,825,425 times
Reputation: 10139
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
I've been retired for almost 15 years. Not yet 60. Retired military. Didn't need to work afterwards.

The other day my oldest niece asked me how i was enjoying retirement and i said "It's Ok".

I surprised myself. Am i supposed to be jumping with joy about it?

I do enjoy waking up when i want to get up.

I can go places if i want, but kind of hindered due to my pet responsibilites

People - make sure you are not encumbered and can take off at a moments notice!!

It just made me realize that i need to start appreciating what i have.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
Maybe you’ve heard or read a few too many comments about retirements filled with lots of traveling, lots of socializing (for those who enjoy a lot of it), lots of hobbies, lots of volunteer work, lots of bucket lists being crossed off, etc etc.

Sort of like people watching HGTV and thinking they “should” have things they never missed.
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Old 06-12-2019, 10:40 PM
 
5,426 posts, read 3,448,244 times
Reputation: 13704
Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabike View Post

Maybe you’ve heard or read a few too many comments about retirements filled with lots of traveling, lots of socializing (for those who enjoy a lot of it), lots of hobbies, lots of volunteer work, lots of bucket lists being crossed off, etc etc.

Sort of like people watching HGTV and thinking they “should” have things they never missed.
very good point!! And I do none of those things you list, except hobbies and lots of interests.
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Old 06-12-2019, 11:14 PM
 
5,423 posts, read 2,825,425 times
Reputation: 10139
I enjoy watching wild animals—and plants—in their own world more than owning pets. I don’t regret having had pets but have no desire to do so again. Neither does my husband.

When other retirees find out we used to have dogs, inevitably someone asks if/when we will get the next one. At first, the pain of euthanizing ours was so strong and longlasting that the answer was “Can’t even think of such a thing!” Later, that changed to, “Well, maybe...probably not.” Still later, it turned into “No dogs ever again.” Been feeling that way long enough we know it is the right answer for us.

As for retirement, it is great merely for not having to be somewhere at a specific time 5 days a week, with a roof over our heads, food on the table, and enough money and health to have some fun.

Everything beyond that is gravy.
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Old 06-13-2019, 01:45 AM
 
915 posts, read 212,508 times
Reputation: 1089
Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabike View Post
Maybe you’ve heard or read a few too many comments about retirements filled with lots of traveling, lots of socializing (for those who enjoy a lot of it), lots of hobbies, lots of volunteer work, lots of bucket lists being crossed off, etc etc.

Sort of like people watching HGTV and thinking they “should” have things they never missed.
Very insightful - we're kind of programmed to believe over the years that once retired you kind of enter into state of constant elation. OP, you could have honestly told your niece the truth - there are good days and there are bad days. Hopefully you'd tell her that you enjoy your freedom from having to work, freedom to have the time to do what you want - travel, sit, read, exercise - but tell her some of the downside. Maybe less social contact, less responsibilities, more aches and pains of becoming old, maybe occasional forgetfulness w/ aging, seeing acquaintances become chronically ill/pass away.

But pikabike's post is spot-on. We've been marketed to a retirement that isn't necessarily reality based.
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Old 06-13-2019, 04:53 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,653,928 times
Reputation: 10169
Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabike View Post

Sort of like people watching HGTV and thinking they “should” have things they never missed.

OMG I suddenly had a glimpse of the future. How much you want to bet the people who brought us HGTV will soon be churning out episodes of "SFTV." (Silver Fox TV, because it's not enough to have programming about "the senior lifestyle," you sell more things if your acronym makes it all sound so glamorous). Companies must be chomping at the bit to create programming devoted to making retirees think they "should" have all sorts of things nobody actually really needs.

Oh, Lord, I can see it now..... We'll be told every home needs a "senior cave."

Or that we need his and her chair lifts (because it's primitive to consider sharing the same one, dontcha know). Shows about installing moving sidewalks in your house, just like they have in airports. Shows following "typical" retirees as they view various places they might like to retire, while they say things like "I would never live in anything but a moving concept living room" (to help sell those moving sidewalks, LOL).

Travel shows that make seniors feel they can only be happy or safe if they go to the most expensive resorts (and ordering all sorts of amenities that wouldn't have occurred to us to want).


OK somebody please wake me up. Clearly I'm just having a bad dream.

Last edited by Piney Creek; 06-13-2019 at 05:07 AM..
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Old 06-13-2019, 05:09 AM
 
915 posts, read 212,508 times
Reputation: 1089
So many people in our country would jump at the opportunity to have a "just ok" retirement, I'm thinking. I go to local Walmarts and Publix grocery stores and small talk w/ the cashiers or baggers (Publix) and discover the elderly folks working there aren't doing it because they're bored, but because they need the income. Some of them are advanced age (mid to late 70's).....I'm thinking they'd be happy w/ a "just ok" retirement. I bet there are more people in our age groups who aren't "just ok" and are probably close to being "not ok".....bills, social isolation, chronic medical conditions, etc.
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