U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 06-16-2019, 10:25 AM
 
Location: In a daze
244 posts, read 218,645 times
Reputation: 918

Advertisements

I believe in the Man, not in the system.

 
Old 06-16-2019, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,647,282 times
Reputation: 10162
As far as religion is concerned, I do the same thing in retirement that I did before retirement. I'm not sure why retirement would affect something like that.
 
Old 06-16-2019, 10:42 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,647,282 times
Reputation: 10162
^^ Having answered the question about attending religious services, I thought I'd note that since retirement, I DO spend more time in the community meeting rooms for a few different churches. Not quite what she wanted to know, but it's kind of interesting to note how much I use those community meeting rooms now that I have time for more activities. A heartfelt thanks to all the churches who provide these.

My cancer support group meets at one, I belong to a music club that meets at another, and my cycling group uses the parking lot of the community chapel as the gathering point before they start off. There's also a church in Williamsburg that serves an amazing lunch every Wednesday. No bible study attached, just a lunch gathering for whomever might want it. I go to that a lot, it's a good way to get to know your neighbors. Most of them aren't even members of the church, they just like the idea of a community lunch group. And that's also how I got into playing pickleball. The pickleball payers go to the lunch and after I got to know a few they invited me to play.

Last edited by Piney Creek; 06-16-2019 at 10:59 AM..
 
Old 06-16-2019, 11:17 AM
 
17,655 posts, read 4,055,214 times
Reputation: 5586
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran66 View Post
In retirement, do you attend church/synagogue/mosque, and do you attend frequently, somewhat regularly, rarely or not at all? And why do you or don't you?

I realize that this can get 'sticky' and/or contentious. I don't want this to turn into a conversion convention. I would very much prefer that we don't try to convince each other that our church/set of beliefs is/are 'the only right one'. I would very much prefer that we don't try to 'save' each other. I would just like to know if you attend a place of worship and why you do or if you don't and why you don't.

In the past few years I have come to know that the majority of members of mainstream Christian churches and Jewish synagogues are 55+ or 65+. By "majority" I mean that 50-75% of the congregation(s) are 60-65+. (Last Sunday I went to four different Roman Catholic churches in my city. The majority of the people going into or coming out of Mass were the old and elderly. I spoke with a number of attendees at all four parishes -- one woman laughed (and made me laugh): "ALL of us are old here!" :-) )

So to start it off: I don't attend any place of worship. I'm 70, and I've been an agnostic since I was 20 and in college. I was born into and raised in a very devout Roman Catholic home. Went to Catholic school through 8th grade (for which I am very grateful -- I got a great fundamental education which served me very well in HS and college). But Catholicism -- and Christianity -- started to make no sense to me at all starting at about age 13. I had a hard time believing that a 'loving' God was going to send us to Hell if we stepped out of line once too often. :-) And that was just the beginning of a long list of things that didn't make sense to me.

Religion was my minor in college (at a time when on secular college in The US offered a major in religion -- that's how old I am LOL). The study of religion(s) has been a life-long love of mine. (I majored in Philosophy, and both Philosophy and religion got me interested in ALL the sciences.)

Just for the record: I do follow Christian principles. I am a huge believer in the last seven of The 10 Commandments because I think that they (the last seven of the 10) are necessary for a society where everyone can live in security and peace -- of course, that's the ideal -- it doesn't tend to happen in reality.
But I don't tend to lie, cheat, steal, sleep with my neighbor's husband, etc., and I never have. I am fortunate enough financially to be able to give money away to those in need (not for a tax deduction). And I truly think the vast majority of us (human beings) have a moral compass, whether or not we believe in a God, and that the majority of us do the best we can every single day.

Ok -- anyone else up to posting about this? If not, it's all right. I just thought I'd give it a go.
Im church of Christ and I go to church 4 times a week.Going to church is important to me.
 
Old 06-16-2019, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,003 posts, read 54,508,374 times
Reputation: 66349
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
As far as religion is concerned, I do the same thing in retirement that I did before retirement. I'm not sure why retirement would affect something like that.
It could if part of the reason for attendance is social connections and someone moves to a new place or finds themselves divorced or widowed.

BEFORE I retired I found a local church after my daughter graduated from high school and I moved somewhere more affordable, about sixty miles away. When you are older and single, there aren't many opportunities to meet people, particularly for someone like me who worked long hours an hour and a half away in the city and had no free time during the week for socializing.

It was either the bar up the street or a church, and the last time I made a bar my social connection, I ended up with an alcoholic husband on my hands. Decided to try the church, and I found one that was of the same mind as I am as far as inclusion and spiritual outlook, and where it wasn't wholly a couples/family fest and a single older woman was not an oddity.

I made some friends, but now that I retired and find myself in a relationship, church has become less of a factor in my life because I don't need that community connection as much.
__________________
Moderator posts are in RED.
City-Data Terms of Service: http://www.city-data.com/terms.html
 
Old 06-16-2019, 12:15 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,898 posts, read 1,582,286 times
Reputation: 7913
I was raised very strict Catholic (1950’s & 60’s) including 12 years of Catholic schools. A few years after that I got seriously involved in an aspect of conservative Evangelical beliefs for several years. Church & meetings several times a week & an entire new set of nice friends. But I would still ask honest questions & get vague answers or be told to “wait on God”. Well I waited & over the years my faith became harder to prop up but of course my entire life & social network revolved around it, so when I finally admitted to myself that my “faith” was actually being a part of a tribe that I was comfortably socialized into, I made a break.

It took me many years to finally confront the notion of “Faith” itself as being something between superstition & dangerous- Faith is simply accepting an explanation or answer that has no evidence in reality but someone tells you to believe it is true by fiat. Paul called it “The substance of things not seen but believed.” Paul was a former military officer & comfortable telling people what to do or believe without discussion. This may have been ok in the Bronze Age but it seems to me to be the equivalent of a vestigial tail on modern society.

So I’m at least agnostic now, I don’t have enough “faith” to declare full atheism but that seems more likely than a supreme being that would torture children to death with cancers & other horrors. I might be interested in a group like the Unitarians who don’t have a creed but try to do good. There are definitely phenomena that are “spiritual” experiences that occur in all creeds & outside of faith based beliefs that change people’s lives.

So no I have no interest in church/temple/mosque attendance at all anymore other than acknowledging that they are attempts at understanding meaning bigger than oneself outside of the material realm, although that last part is where I believe “spiritual leaders” usually take their flocks for a ride.
 
Old 06-16-2019, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,322 posts, read 8,357,780 times
Reputation: 8665
As a life-long atheist (well, since about age 12), I haven't gone to any house of worship unless a friend or family member is marrying or has died. That certainly won't change in retirement.
 
Old 06-16-2019, 12:24 PM
 
12,680 posts, read 14,063,903 times
Reputation: 34733
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
As far as religion is concerned, I do the same thing in retirement that I did before retirement. I'm not sure why retirement would affect something like that.
If you move, the new location may not have the same opportunities.
 
Old 06-16-2019, 12:33 PM
 
12,680 posts, read 14,063,903 times
Reputation: 34733
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran66 View Post
My former SIL had a funeral by a Catholic priest who knew nothing about her -- and the funeral was a bit of a disaster. It wasn't his fault, of course -- she rarely went to church. Anyway, I agree with you completely.
A deceased friend of mine had a happy accident in that respect.

He had moved and then died not long afterward in his new location. Someone in our city asked a neighborhood church to do a memorial service. The Episcopal priest said he would, but only if the person who asked could sit down with him and tell him enough about the deceased so that he felt comfortable doing such a service.

The deceased had written books, most of them for children, and the priest read them.

Our friend couldn't have had a more wonderful service, because the priest talked about his experience of getting to know him through his books and then the conversations with the friend who had made the request. It was a joyful experience because he actually had managed to understand the man he had never met.
 
Old 06-16-2019, 12:55 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
98 posts, read 41,378 times
Reputation: 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hefe View Post
I was raised very strict Catholic (1950’s & 60’s) including 12 years of Catholic schools. A few years after that I got seriously involved in an aspect of conservative Evangelical beliefs for several years. Church & meetings several times a week & an entire new set of nice friends. But I would still ask honest questions & get vague answers or be told to “wait on God”. Well I waited & over the years my faith became harder to prop up but of course my entire life & social network revolved around it, so when I finally admitted to myself that my “faith” was actually being a part of a tribe that I was comfortably socialized into, I made a break.

It took me many years to finally confront the notion of “Faith” itself as being something between superstition & dangerous- Faith is simply accepting an explanation or answer that has no evidence in reality but someone tells you to believe it is true by fiat. Paul called it “The substance of things not seen but believed.” Paul was a former military officer & comfortable telling people what to do or believe without discussion. This may have been ok in the Bronze Age but it seems to me to be the equivalent of a vestigial tail on modern society.

So I’m at least agnostic now, I don’t have enough “faith” to declare full atheism but that seems more likely than a supreme being that would torture children to death with cancers & other horrors. I might be interested in a group like the Unitarians who don’t have a creed but try to do good. There are definitely phenomena that are “spiritual” experiences that occur in all creeds & outside of faith based beliefs that change people’s lives.

So no I have no interest in church/temple/mosque attendance at all anymore other than acknowledging that they are attempts at understanding meaning bigger than oneself outside of the material realm, although that last part is where I believe “spiritual leaders” usually take their flocks for a ride.
This is pretty much my story also. Raised in Catholic schools and went full-on evangelical as a young adult. When I asked honest questions, the "tribe" got angry with me for not toeing the line. When my heart was breaking as I was going through a divorce, the only advice the Pastor could give me was, "Well, Jesus suffered too".

These and other incidents brought me to the realization that there was no god who cared about me personally, and there probably was no god. The current taliban-like trump cult has done nothing to change my mind. I think the fact that people, especially young people, are turning away from the church in droves is very telling.

So no, I haven't attended a church for years and there is no reason that retirement would change that.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top