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Old 06-16-2019, 01:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ComoAmero View Post
When my heart was breaking as I was going through a divorce, the only advice the Pastor could give me was, "Well, Jesus suffered too".
I'm sorry to hear they were of so little support. My Episcopal church community in NJ was one the the few places where I could talk honestly with a small group of friends about the difficulties in my first marriage. They were with me through an ugly divorce and rejoiced when I finally got a decree. My beautiful, joyous second marriage took place there 6 years later.

 
Old 06-16-2019, 01:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kevxu View Post
I would except there is no meeting place near me, only one several hundred km to the north of me. I have followed their development over the years and have contributed regularly though. Thus, any sit-down time with my religion has been a solitary habit for the past twenty years, which I do once or twice a day for about forty minutes. However, as group meetings are rather like those of the Friends/Quakers, i.e. silent, being alone with it is not a dramatic deprivation.
Well, now my curiosity and interest are peaked big time.
 
Old 06-16-2019, 01:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
Understandable. As a Protestant, I do not need to be in a church to worship God, I have my faith with me all the time. I think perhaps this concept is more foreign to Catholics, who are spoon fed everything by the priests.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! LOLOLOLOL MOST US Catholics, under 70 -- and some over 70 -- don't swallow it all, hook, line and sinker. And I go back to The Pew's survey results: about half of all congregants in all Christian denominations and Jewish faith don't believe at all (or pick and choose what they do and don't believe). I was raised RC and had God and my faith with me at all times.

And I'm afraid this thread will get yanked if we continue in this vein. I truly am not interested in arguing or even disagreeing or even in people's individual religious beliefs. I AM VERY interested in why we do or why we don't attend a place of worship in our older age.
 
Old 06-16-2019, 01:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
As far as religion is concerned, I do the same thing in retirement that I did before retirement. I'm not sure why retirement would affect something like that.
Because people grow; they mature; they have more time to examine their beliefs.

I am most concerned about why or why not older people attend a place of worship.

I sat outside a church this morning -- between the end of one service and the beginning of the next -- and I was astounded all over again: 75% (or more) of congregants were old and elderly.

Young people do tend to attend a non-denomination church, but they are not attending mainstream Christian denominations (Catholic, Episcopal, Lutheran, etc.)/synagogues (Orthodox, Conservative, Reformed, etc.). And no one is exactly sure why that is happening.

One Catholic church here recently went from four Masses on Sunday to three -- due to diminishing attendance.

This consistent reduction in attendance -- by young and old -- started long before the scandals. Which I really don't want to discuss here at all. I simply want to know if you attend a place of worship and why/why not. That's certainly nothing we can fight over.
 
Old 06-16-2019, 02:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi60 View Post
I donate to our local church when they ask for help to support fire victims, but in general I have found the church to be just group think protecting their own ideas, so I keep them at arm's length. Sad, as they helped my dad who died at the age of 31 after a life of health problems. I have a photo of him as a teenager in an old style wheel chair at the Catholic hospital, it looks like a board with wheels under it. That could not have been comfortable for him but from what Grandma said, the sisters were very good to him.

Like some other posters, I think the values taught in our churches are important to community social structure but they have become too political and money driven.
I am so very sorry about your father. Really.

And I agree with all the rest you posted.
 
Old 06-16-2019, 02:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kevxu View Post
A deceased friend of mine had a happy accident in that respect.

He had moved and then died not long afterward in his new location. Someone in our city asked a neighborhood church to do a memorial service. The Episcopal priest said he would, but only if the person who asked could sit down with him and tell him enough about the deceased so that he felt comfortable doing such a service.

The deceased had written books, most of them for children, and the priest read them.

Our friend couldn't have had a more wonderful service, because the priest talked about his experience of getting to know him through his books and then the conversations with the friend who had made the request. It was a joyful experience because he actually had managed to understand the man he had never met.
What a beautiful, uplifting story!! What a great memory you have.

You know, just like every place else, there are people who are very exceptional priests/ministers/rabbis, etc.
 
Old 06-16-2019, 02:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by athena53 View Post
I'm sorry to hear they were of so little support. My Episcopal church community in NJ was one the the few places where I could talk honestly with a small group of friends about the difficulties in my first marriage. They were with me through an ugly divorce and rejoiced when I finally got a decree. My beautiful, joyous second marriage took place there 6 years later.
I belonged to an Episcopal congregation for three years. Some families were third-generation members. And I never, ever received such good support anywhere, before or after, in my life. We were truly family -- in mostly all the good ways.
 
Old 06-16-2019, 02:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WellShoneMoon View Post
For about 20 years I was very active in my synagogue -- various committees, social events, member of the board of trustees, etc. But in the last year or so I've found my need to be part of synagogue life is waning. I think when I was active, the congregation met needs I had at the time, which I guess I no longer have. I still support the synagogue financially, but I'm much less likely to go there, either for social functions or for religious services.
Yes, I do understand, believe it or not. We grow, we change, and we either recommit or we leave. And I think it's all all right (not that what I think matters ).

And I think your post answers my OP question exactly. Thank you.
 
Old 06-16-2019, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,659,524 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran66 View Post
Because people grow; they mature; they have more time to examine their beliefs.

I guess everyone's different. I've always had plenty of time to examine my beliefs. It has always been something I made time for, so for me nothing has changed just because I retired. I get the argument that moving might change church attendance, but for me it really hasn't. And moving didn't affect the amount of time I spend reading on my own. I also get the argument that those who see church as a way to meet a spouse, or a place to give your children a solid foundation, will attend church more often during that period in their lives. That wasn't my circumstance, but I'm sure it's true for many. Not sure I really buy the claim that people join a church in their senior years to ensure they get funeral services. I know quite a few people who answer polls with smart-alec answers, as well as many who simply hang up on poll takers (so more and more these days the polls tend reflect only those who wish to answer, often people in the mood to joke around). The older I get the less credence I put in surveys.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran66 View Post

I sat outside a church this morning -- between the end of one service and the beginning of the next -- and I was astounded all over again: 75% (or more) of congregants were old and elderly.

Young people do tend to attend a non-denomination church, but they are not attending mainstream Christian denominations (Catholic, Episcopal, Lutheran, etc.)/synagogues (Orthodox, Conservative, Reformed, etc.). And no one is exactly sure why that is happening.

One Catholic church here recently went from four Masses on Sunday to three -- due to diminishing attendance.

Personally, I think this has more to do with generational differences rather than people changing after they hit retirement. The elderly people you see are probably attending church just as much as they did when they were younger. The younger people who are not attending mainstream churches will probably not start attending them once they reach retirement age.

Last edited by Piney Creek; 06-16-2019 at 02:26 PM..
 
Old 06-16-2019, 02:17 PM
 
Location: Idaho
4,628 posts, read 4,473,076 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran66 View Post
I am most concerned about why or why not older people attend a place of worship.
Sorry. I overlooked that part. Grew up Roman Catholic and attended the local parochial school for eight years, which really gave me a good start in my education. Somewhere in my middle teen years, I left and started attending protestant churches.

For the last thirty or so years, I've attend church of Christ. The reason I attend is primarily for what I can give to the church and its members and visitors, (not specifically referring to financial support). A secondary reason is to worship God with like-minded believers. An unexpected bonus is that I have yet to leave without being blessed myself in some personal way. In our specific congregation, we have all ages, from newborns to those very close to the grave. Seems a pretty even distribution of ages, but probably trending older if I'm to be totally honest.

Again, no change pre-retirement to post-retirement. That is other than moving to a new state, resulting in having to attend a new congregation. It's just what I do. It's who I am.
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