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Old 06-16-2019, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
8,386 posts, read 9,131,891 times
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I’m a serious Christian

Not afraid of death and not concerned about being in a nursing home. While death is certain, the odds of spending more than a short time (rehab) in a nursing home are quite low. I know that from my work experience
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Old 06-16-2019, 09:33 AM
 
Location: KY
579 posts, read 135,960 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran66 View Post
I really haven't thought of death as a 'downer'. At least not my own death. I've been fortunate enough to have made friends with death (my death) a long time ago.

Yes, I know there are other forums -- I was interested only in what retirees and pre-retirees had to say because:

Years ago I belonged to a Tai Chi group, made up of mostly old women. We met two mornings a week. I was, by far, the youngest woman there -- I was in my early 60s. One day I asked the group if they ever thought of death. They burst out laughing and all of them said the same thing: "Every day."

So I suspect that whether we older ones think about death or avoid thinking about death -- we do think about it. Probably more than we're willing to admit.

Everyone young or old, should think about their death at least long enough to assure they have made their advance directives known, their EOL care known, their funeral wishes known. And to assure the monies will be available for these things to happen for them.

Once these things are done for a person be them young or old, for them to spend their minds activity thinking about death, is counter productive to our living day to day. Because not one thought in their head about death, will change how their death will come about. Nor will they be able to ever KNOW by thinking about their demise, the moment it will happen or how long it will take to happen. Unless they choose suicide...

And to the suicide, assisted suicide topic.... here we get in to a person's moral and religious convictions. And why I said above this topic would be better suited in a religion or other related forums.

Because if a person truly believes in God or that, their death will NOT be end of their existence. Then, they cannot even consider the act of suicide be it self inflicted or assisted.... to be the RIGHT thing to do. JMO.

Last edited by greglovesoldtrucks; 06-16-2019 at 09:45 AM..
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Old 06-16-2019, 09:58 AM
 
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Death is not what scares me...but being bed ridden unable to do anything does.

So I vote yes for assisted suicide.
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Old 06-16-2019, 12:30 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,896 posts, read 1,580,961 times
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Not afraid of death but definitely afraid of a long or painful degenerative disease where I would lose control of my body functions or my mind. I do wonder if I was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia or something as awful if I would have the facility or will to take some lethal med mixture before I became too incapacitated to avoid the slow & pain filled inevitable. Or if I still had my mind to just stop eating.
One hopes to never be in that position but...
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Old 06-16-2019, 01:02 PM
 
12,677 posts, read 14,059,781 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran66 View Post
If you are afraid, why are you? If you aren't, why aren't you? And (just an example): if tomorrow you were diagnosed with, say, Stage 4 lung cancer, to what lengths would you go to stay alive?
I am apprehensive about the manner of my death, but the thought of being dead is not frightening.

As for the example, Stage 4 lung cancer...given what I have seen first hand and heard from others, I would commit suicide. I have a suicide "kit" and I would use it.

Quote:
Lastly, do you believe in Physician-Assisted Suicide?
Yes. But I would not care for a system that required the person to be in a medical facility or have a physician sit with you until you were dead. I would want to be with a loved on, or alone in my own home.
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Old 06-16-2019, 01:16 PM
 
1,048 posts, read 512,583 times
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This is something Iíve put a lot of thought into lately, as Iíve had 3 very close family/friends die in the last year, and 2 are literally on the doorstep.

Personally, Iím not the least bit afraid of dying, I just want it to be quick and painless. And I agree about the over 75 thing. Most will experience enough hardship after 75 that IMO, itís not worth the bother.

However, my recent experiences have convinced me that people have all kinds of different opinions on the subject.

My mom was diagnosed with metastatic cancer - stomach, liver, lungs, after being admitted to the ER with abdominal pain. She was 76. She decided to go the hospice route. No fighting it, didnít even biopsy to identify the particular cancer. She was dead three weeks later, with relatively little suffering. Most people thought that was crazy. I would have done the same thing. She knew my dad wasnít long for this world, and she didnít want to fight an extremely hard battle only to end up in a nursing home 5 years later. I get it.

Contrast that to an elderly uncle. Diagnosed with congestive heart failure at 80. By 84, heís in the hospital with fluid retention every 3 months. A test reveals blocked coronary arteries. One hospital refuses bypass surgery, so he finds a teaching hospital that will do it (big surprise there, huh?). His quality of life doesnít improve, it only goes downhill. At 85, he is no longer able to walk. Big problem since he refuses to go to a nursing home. Finally, he falls and is admitted to the hospital. The hospital sends him to a nursing home where heís been for six months, unable to leave his bed. Great decision to have that bypass, right? I donít get it.

And then thereís my 80 year old friend with stage 4 COPD. Canít walk 30 feet without being breathless, even while on 24 hour oxygen. Heís pissed at his primary care guy for refusing to schedule his routine colonoscopy. What is he thinking? Who the hell worries about developing colon cancer at that point? Heís clearly in denial about his condition. I donít get it.

Iím 57. Iíve been fortunate to have done most everything Iíve wanted to do. Other than owning the Red Sox, thereís nothing on my bucket list. When my dogs are gone, Iíll have no responsibilities. Iíll have fulfilled my obligations. I have no desire to live a single day depending on anyone. Havenít since 18, why start now? I figure if I get to 75 and independent, Iíll be lucky. If not, give me the option of ending it when I choose.
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Old 06-16-2019, 01:28 PM
 
17,649 posts, read 4,055,214 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran66 View Post
If you are afraid, why are you? If you aren't, why aren't you? And (just an example): if tomorrow you were diagnosed with, say, Stage 4 lung cancer, to what lengths would you go to stay alive?

Lastly, do you believe in Physician-Assisted Suicide?

My recent PCP -- a geriatrician who is 65 and who recently retired -- thinks that everyone 75+ should be allowed to avail themselves of P-A Suicide for any reason whatsoever, because he says that, for the majority of us, life starts to get very difficult between age 75 and 80.

My ex-BF, who I'm still in contact with, is 82 and an Ombudsman in another very populous state/county. A few years ago when he started to volunteer, he was astounded that the vast majority of people in assisted-living/nursing homes were (and are) younger than he was!

My research -- and experience (I am living in my third 55+ retirement community in the past 10 years) -- is that, yes, we are living a bit longer but we're not living better. As some physician said recently (sorry -- I can't remember who nor can I remember who said it): "Modern medicine won't prolong your life but it will prolong your dying."

So to start if off: No, I'm not afraid of death. Dying -- that's another story because dying tends to be unnecessarily painful in The US. Secondly, I am a big fan of P-A Suicide. Thirdly, I think anyone 75 and over should be able to check out (be allowed P-A Suicide) for any reason whatsoever.
I am a little afraid of death but at the same time I am looking forward to it because I am a Christian.It will be great when it happens but I dont want it to happen anytime soon.I would not treat stage 4 lung cancer and I would be content.Its not death but the dying process im afraid of.Also, fear of the the unknown.
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Old 06-16-2019, 01:29 PM
 
1,048 posts, read 512,583 times
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[quote=Parnassia;55436196]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran66 View Post
If you aren't, why aren't you?

No, I'm not afraid. I suspect people fear it because they are worried they will leave something unsaid, unresolved, undone, not achieved. I don't feel I've left too many things undone at this point. Few regrets and I've tried to live an ethical and conscientious life. After I'm dead something still persists, just in a different form. I hope to become part of a very beloved place and have made that desire known.

And (just an example): if tomorrow you were diagnosed with, say, Stage 4 lung cancer, to what lengths would you go to stay alive?

Well, I have faced two bouts of cancer already so have been down that mental road before. I did what felt right at the time. Not sure what would seem best the next time and not going to borrow trouble until it happens. Probably ask to stay comfortable, settle my affairs, and let the rest go. No heroics. There's really no point.

Lastly, do you believe in Physician-Assisted Suicide?

Yes. If not physician-assisted, I would hope the option is available through some other avenue. I feel a person should have the right to determine their own future with impunity. If someone doesn't agree with my choice that's fine. They have the right to do something different for themselves...but themselves only. Well, I can see a parent having to decide for a child, but that's alien territory for me so I won't presume.

My recent PCP -- a geriatrician who is 65 and who recently retired -- thinks that everyone 75+ should be allowed to avail themselves of P-A Suicide for any reason whatsoever, because he says that, for the majority of us, life starts to get very difficult between age 75 and 80.

I don't believe age/aging has much to do with it. No magic age after which the options should be different. I also don't see the point of scratching after every extra minute, preserving myself for some distant unknown future or to brag about how long I kept age at bay. But then I don't abuse myself either.

If a person is mature/cognizant enough to decide when it is time to die they should be free to do so. I don't believe that the medical establishment is something to be victimized by. I believe it offers tools and I believe in my ability to use them. Not all of it is some evil bogeyman. If you choose to be ruled by paranoia and suspicion be my guest. IME modern medicine has treated me quite well. Probably wouldn't have survived this long if it hadn't. There are always choices to weigh, opinions to be considered, but decisions are still up to an individual to make. I'll do my best. And, prepare instruments just in case I can't make them.
You make good points about why people fear death. I too feel Iíve no regrets, no unfinished business. I donít fear death.

The people who I know personally who have feared deaths have lived lives that wouldnít sit well with me. I can look myself in the mirror. I couldnít if I were them.
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Old 06-16-2019, 01:38 PM
 
1,048 posts, read 512,583 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cebuan View Post
I'm afraid of NOT dying, and lingering long enough to be a burden on others.


If the doctor said I have a month to live, my reply would be "Do I have to wait"?


I've lived my 80 years fully, done all Id ever want to do, nothing important remains undone.
Good for you cebuan!
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Old 06-16-2019, 02:17 PM
 
1,942 posts, read 2,708,224 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
No, no, no. But number one should be quick(my preference), for number two, my religion(even though Iím not religious) does not encourage it, plus I donít want to set up precedent and screw up my kids, number three is related to number 2, I take life as it is, the good, the bad, and the ugly(my favorite movie btw). But thereís always morphine to accelerated my demise, no need for anything else or plan ahead.
One of my favorite movies too! God luv Clint Eastwood -- I loved and still love all of his bloody movies! LOLOLOLOL
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