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Old 06-22-2019, 02:17 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
21,148 posts, read 11,754,604 times
Reputation: 32127

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
She was well enough to get a manicure last night. If she's well enough to do that, she can load the dishwasher.
This makes no sense.

I'm by no means defending OP's mother. But getting a manicure involved driving somewhere in a car (which we know she's able to do) and then sitting there where your arms on an arm rest while someone else does all the work.

Loading a dishwasher is a lot of bending and twisting and to the extent someone has any back or neck issues, or possibly even knee problems, those can cause physical limitations that impact the ability to load or unload a dishwasher.

Again, not the main issue here but but it kind of undermines the actual legitimate problems involved.
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Old 06-22-2019, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
21,534 posts, read 43,962,244 times
Reputation: 15132
I agree w/Matisse. She won't do more until she feels better. She won't feel better until she radically improves her diet. She has to WANT to do this - because a proper diet requires thought and work.

I had the benefit (a horrible ordeal at the time) of a severe illness in my mid-30's from which I couldn't recover - primarily because I'd been eating on the run too much, not enough good fresh food. Saw a nutritionist who put me on all raw food. Within two weeks, I could feel a difference. I spent a year getting back on my feet.

From that day to this (77 y/o now), I've been a fanatic about eating high-quality fresh food. I'm fortunate our organic coop is a half mile from my house. When I'm too lazy to cook, they have great hot bar with to-die-for food. I'll load up on that and reheat during the week along with a steamed fresh veggie. I can very easily manage to steam spinach, green beans, or broccoli to complement the main dish. When I'm too lazy to buy and store all the ingredients for a fresh salad, I fill containers from their salad bar and dress at home w/balsamic vinegar, olive oil, garlic.

Payoff is from that terrible ailment 40 years ago, I have zero ailments now. No HBP, no cholesterol issues, still as tall as I was. I do take some supplements like CoQ10, and Osteo Bi-Flex for joints, Vit D (good cancer preventive) among other things. I have zero health issues.

I learnt my lesson early in life. God was talking to me, I think.
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Old 06-23-2019, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,541 posts, read 17,525,434 times
Reputation: 27573
I did my twice a month or so major Walmart/Sam’s run early this morning. She must have seen that I checked in at Walmart on Facebook. She was wanting me to bring her some milk and other things. This was at 10 AM and she said dad wasn’t out of bed yet, and that she doesn’t want to go to the store by herself. They went to Target yesterday.

At some point, it ends up being just laziness. I don’t like to spend my prime weekend hours puttering around Target or something.

I did a little bit of hiking and may go to a baseball game shortly. I just don’t like to be idle like that.
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Old 06-23-2019, 01:42 PM
 
Location: Texas
158 posts, read 40,197 times
Reputation: 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
I did my twice a month or so major Walmart/Samís run early this morning. She must have seen that I checked in at Walmart on Facebook. She was wanting me to bring her some milk and other things. This was at 10 AM and she said dad wasnít out of bed yet, and that she doesnít want to go to the store by herself. They went to Target yesterday.
I would suggest limiting her access to your location on Facebook. Either by limiting her access or not checking in on Facebook. The less information she has the better off you will be.
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Old 06-23-2019, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,000 posts, read 17,320,800 times
Reputation: 41258
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
I did my twice a month or so major Walmart/Sam’s run early this morning. She must have seen that I checked in at Walmart on Facebook. She was wanting me to bring her some milk and other things. This was at 10 AM and she said dad wasn’t out of bed yet, and that she doesn’t want to go to the store by herself. They went to Target yesterday.

At some point, it ends up being just laziness. I don’t like to spend my prime weekend hours puttering around Target or something.

I did a little bit of hiking and may go to a baseball game shortly. I just don’t like to be idle like that.
I'm confused about how your mother knew that you were at Walmart? Did you post something on FB or does she get messages saying where you are? What?

Did she say why she didn't get milk and those other things at Target, or on the way to or from Target, yesterday?

Last edited by germaine2626; 06-23-2019 at 03:00 PM..
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Old 06-23-2019, 02:47 PM
 
6,303 posts, read 5,042,575 times
Reputation: 12799
Is she a recreational shopper?

Does your Target also carry groceries? If yes, why not get them then?

Does she like to go to a store every single day? I know people like that - they call it getting out of the house. I call it spending money that you don't need to spend - lol.
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Old 06-23-2019, 04:24 PM
 
Location: Knoxville, TN
1,236 posts, read 585,282 times
Reputation: 2710
I am 62. I swam laps for 40 minutes this morning. I met a group and hiked for an hour at Ijams Nature Center this afternoon. I go to exercise classes most days of the week at the Y and most of the people there during the day are retirees who are older than me....active and working hard to stay that way. I am sad for your mom. She has gotten herself into a place where she can't enjoy life the way she should be able to. However, it is not your responsibility to make up for her mistakes. You are not responsible for your parents, physically or financially. If they won't do the things they need to do to help themselves, you have no obligation to make up for that. Live your life. That is what I would tell my daughter.
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Old 06-23-2019, 04:27 PM
 
6,303 posts, read 5,042,575 times
Reputation: 12799
Quote:
Originally Posted by JOinGA View Post
I am 62. I swam laps for 40 minutes this morning. I met a group and hiked for an hour at Ijams Nature Center this afternoon. I go to exercise classes most days of the week at the Y and most of the people there during the day are retirees who are older than me....active and working hard to stay that way. I am sad for your mom. She has gotten herself into a place where she can't enjoy life the way she should be able to. However, it is not your responsibility to make up for her mistakes. You are not responsible for your parents, physically or financially. If they won't do the things they need to do to help themselves, you have no obligation to make up for that. Live your life. That is what I would tell my daughter.
Some people just can't accept that

Yesterday i was visiting with my niece and grand-niece. I see them maybe once a month

But yet, they are so commited to never having any of us go to a senior living facility.

I want to tell them - don't worry about me!
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Old 06-23-2019, 04:33 PM
 
5,419 posts, read 3,440,673 times
Reputation: 13654
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post

Some people just can't accept that

Yesterday i was visiting with my niece and grand-niece. I see them maybe once a month

But yet, they are so commited to never having any of us go to a senior living facility.


I want to tell them - don't worry about me!
Assisted Living dwellings which have apartments and also nursing care units (or a nursing home which is different from Assisted Living) can eat up and destroy an inheritance and stockpile of money in a BIG way.....

eating up and destroying the inheritance that adult children or nieces/nephews are hoping to receive upon the demise of elders.

Last edited by matisse12; 06-23-2019 at 05:13 PM..
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Old 06-23-2019, 04:44 PM
 
11,963 posts, read 5,102,113 times
Reputation: 18693
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
I did my twice a month or so major Walmart/Samís run early this morning. She must have seen that I checked in at Walmart on Facebook. She was wanting me to bring her some milk and other things. This was at 10 AM and she said dad wasnít out of bed yet, and that she doesnít want to go to the store by herself. They went to Target yesterday.

At some point, it ends up being just laziness. I donít like to spend my prime weekend hours puttering around Target or something.

I did a little bit of hiking and may go to a baseball game shortly. I just donít like to be idle like that.
Do you really get on Facebook to tell everyone you're going to Walmart? This is so foreign to me.
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