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He tried that. He keeps moving back "home" and continues to get caught up in his parents', grandmother's or girlfriend's problems.
I'm not going to belabor the point, but this is where I am from. It's not a perfect place - I'm fantastically bored at work, but I have a good manager, and I'm making good money by local standards. I do plan on relocating to Raleigh (my top pick of cities), Greenville, SC, or maybe Charlotte. I love Maine and there's an off-chance I could end up there.
When I moved back here in 2016, I was likely going to be canned from the place I was working in Indianapolis. Both the previous and subsequent persons in the role were also canned, so it wasn't just me. I applied for roles closer to home and got the hometown offer for what I was making in Indy. I'd have been a fool to turn it down given the circumstances I was in at the time.
It's easy to get tangled up in others' problems when you're literally living within fifteen minutes of each other.
If you are busy living your own life, you won't be as apt to get sucked in. Take some online classes, learn a foreign language, start running 5ks, or write a book.
I'm not going to belabor the point, but this is where I am from. It's not a perfect place - I'm fantastically bored at work, but I have a good manager, and I'm making good money by local standards. I do plan on relocating to Raleigh (my top pick of cities), Greenville, SC, or maybe Charlotte. I love Maine and there's an off-chance I could end up there.
When I moved back here in 2016, I was likely going to be canned from the place I was working in Indianapolis. Both the previous and subsequent persons in the role were also canned, so it wasn't just me. I applied for roles closer to home and got the hometown offer for what I was making in Indy. I'd have been a fool to turn it down given the circumstances I was in at the time.
It's easy to get tangled up in others' problems when you're literally living within fifteen minutes of each other.
We all make decisions throughout our lives that seem like a good idea at the time. But from your posts here, I (and others) see a pattern in what you are doing. You keep returning home and then getting wrapped up in the demands of others. You need to realize they will not leave you alone to live your own life if you are conveniently close by. Some people (some families) are like that. And if you are not careful, you will become their enabler so they continue to be more and more needy.
I would venture to say that most people from areas like yours who did well in life actually moved away from home. We went where the good jobs were (good = well paying and interesting). We went to places where there are museums, theaters, good restaurants, concerts and other activities, to places where we mingled with all kinds of people and learned how different people think and how they live their lives. It can be an eye-opener.
We all make decisions throughout our lives that seem like a good idea at the time. But from your posts here, I (and others) see a pattern in what you are doing. You keep returning home and then getting wrapped up in the demands of others. You need to realize they will not leave you alone to live your own life if you are conveniently close by. Some people (some families) are like that. And if you are not careful, you will become their enabler so they continue to be more and more needy.
I would venture to say that most people from areas like yours who did well in life actually moved away from home. We went where the good jobs were (good = well paying and interesting). We went to places where there are museums, theaters, good restaurants, concerts and other activities, to places where we mingled with all kinds of people and learned how different people think and how they live their lives. It can be an eye-opener.
He is an only child. I think that plays a large part in how much a child and parents will rely on each other.
There are also the psychological factors of wanting to be relied upon, of wanting to do the chores to develop or maintain an emotional closeness, to wanting to be part of the parents lives and doing the chores is one way to accomplish that, to genuinely wanting to help, to having a few things lacking in one's own life so one fills those holes by dwelling on the parents, to wanting a place to hang out in which is the parents' house, to wanting to assuage loneliness, in wanting to assuage loneliness one goes to the parents' home every day -
all the while sometimes complaining about doing the chores etc and sometimes not realizing the psychological reasons above as to why one is carrying out the tasks and behavior.
Not negating that one sees a need and genuinely wants to help.
Last edited by matisse12; 06-21-2019 at 12:14 PM..
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