Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I did contact "Birthright Israel" which gives free trips to Israel for those who are Jewish. I showed my daughter's DNA and they said she was definitely eligible
I do offer a word of caution for those taking a DNA test: it's estimated that in 5%-7% of cases, your father will turn out not to be your actual birth father. I know this because in November, 2017 my results came back from Ancestry.com, and I had no paternal matches. A bunch of strangers came back as half siblings, half nieces, etc. I found out the man who raised me and who I believed my entire life was my father, wasn't my dad! A family friend (whom I knew) was my father.
The emotions, depression, heartache and shock of this discovery is vast. There are support groups on Facebook and online to help with people like me who get this thunderous shock. It's tough to wrap your mind around, especially when my mother and my birth father are both dead. I'll never get any answers from either of them.
I do offer a word of caution for those taking a DNA test: it's estimated that in 5%-7% of cases, your father will turn out not to be your actual birth father. I know this because in November, 2017 my results came back from Ancestry.com, and I had no paternal matches. A bunch of strangers came back as half siblings, half nieces, etc. I found out the man who raised me and who I believed my entire life was my father, wasn't my dad! A family friend (whom I knew) was my father.
The emotions, depression, heartache and shock of this discovery is vast. There are support groups on Facebook and online to help with people like me who get this thunderous shock. It's tough to wrap your mind around, especially when my mother and my birth father are both dead. I'll never get any answers from either of them.
The man who raised you, and took care of you is your REAL father. Almost any man can impregnate someone. But it takes a real man to raise a child. Please focus on that.
At this time in mine/our life, I don’t want anybody from never land to become part of mine/our life. Wouldn’t fix anything or solve anything. And if by chance my days as a single GI living in the barracks and partying, I’d rather not be found to be quite honest.
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
1,918 posts, read 6,771,435 times
Reputation: 2707
Ulysses61:
"I found out the man who raised me and who I believed my entire life was my father, wasn't my dad! A family friend (whom I knew) was my father. "
*****************
Actually, I understand that. Just last year when I and my 3 sisters did the DNA tests, we noticed that we had a "close" relative whom we did not recognize. Ends up he's our BROTHER!!!
Apparently, just before WWII when my dad was only 18, he had an affair with a woman (in the MidWest) and she had a bunch of kids already. My father was never told that she became pregnant with his child. We found him on our ancestry list as a "close relative/brother" and were shocked! It ended up that one of my sisters had just gotten her DNA, saw his name there as our "brother," and the name of the person who submitted the test and her tree (his sister-actually half sister now).
We tried to get in touch with her and she had gone in (my sister got a screen shot) and CHANGED her family tree so that my father's name was REMOVED and she put in HER father's name! But we already had the information and he remains on our information as our brother.
We finally tracked them down, and we got in touch with our brother who is now in his 70s. He was actually my dad's first child! I was next. By then, my Dad had moved from the midwest to the east coast, and never knew he had a son. And my dad LOVED kids! He would have accepted him with open arms and been thrilled! I'm sure he would have had him stay with us for at least the summer when we'd go camping a lot.
Unfortunately, my dad died at 86, and it was a few years later that we discovered this information. We finally were able to contact him, and he recently visited one of my younger sisters, and all three of us sisters FaceTimed with him! I think he was a bit overwhelmed, but he was happy. So, we're all planning to try to get together in our respective places and see him in person - although he did meet my one sister in person, as he stayed with her.
I'm sure it was a shock, but he's really sweet (looks like my Dad, too, and has a similar disposition).
I'm happy that we found him and know we have a brother. I just feel badly that my dad died not knowing. He always wanted a son, and he loved his children, and I know he would have accepted him with open arms. My Dad was just a really kind person.
So, you never know what you will find. I know his sister still won't change her tree, but I have him in mine as my brother!
Long time ago a guy at work found out something like this when he was getting a security clearance. His family had some explaining to do!
My parents immigrated. So I did 23nMe? years ago but no relatives although i was contacted by a possible distant relative who was doing his family tree. I would have to do the european one or Ukrainian one or something and don't know how to do that although I would like to.
I do offer a word of caution for those taking a DNA test: it's estimated that in 5%-7% of cases, your father will turn out not to be your actual birth father. I know this because in November, 2017 my results came back from Ancestry.com, and I had no paternal matches. A bunch of strangers came back as half siblings, half nieces, etc. I found out the man who raised me and who I believed my entire life was my father, wasn't my dad! A family friend (whom I knew) was my father.
The emotions, depression, heartache and shock of this discovery is vast. There are support groups on Facebook and online to help with people like me who get this thunderous shock. It's tough to wrap your mind around, especially when my mother and my birth father are both dead. I'll never get any answers from either of them.
I guess it's all in how you look at it. You had a dad that took care of you and loved you for all of the time he was in your life. That's a real blessing.
I had a dad who treated me "less than" whenever I saw him. Parents were divorced when I was a toddler. I never got to spend time with him and always suspected there was an issue around my paternity. It turned out I was right. I wasn't his, and he either knew or suspected. Both of them are dead now, so I can't ask. Ancestry led me to my 2 half sisters that I never knew about. I was texting with one of them, who came up on Ancestry as a possible cousin, when we figured it out. Her dad sired me before he met her mother, and while my mom was temporarily separated from my dad and living at my grandparents' home. I'm thrilled to find that I have two sisters who look like me! My mystery is solved, and since my parents probably did what they did to protect me, I'm fine with it.
I do offer a word of caution for those taking a DNA test: it's estimated that in 5%-7% of cases, your father will turn out not to be your actual birth father. I know this because in November, 2017 my results came back from Ancestry.com, and I had no paternal matches. A bunch of strangers came back as half siblings, half nieces, etc. I found out the man who raised me and who I believed my entire life was my father, wasn't my dad! A family friend (whom I knew) was my father.
The emotions, depression, heartache and shock of this discovery is vast. There are support groups on Facebook and online to help with people like me who get this thunderous shock. It's tough to wrap your mind around, especially when my mother and my birth father are both dead. I'll never get any answers from either of them.
I don't know why but it surprises me that so many people find out the man they thought was their dad isn't. I'm one of them. I have to say though that when I found out I was surprised but not shocked and it didn't depress me or anything. I found it interesting, actually, but it sure has brought up a gazillion questions. Nobody around to ask anymore here either. I have one DNA match that I am pretty sure is a 1/2 niece. She's the right age to be a child of my 1/2 sibling. Neither one of us knows who that family is though. She was adopted as a baby and doesn't know who either of her parents were. Hers might even still be alive, if they are around my age, but I'm sure my BF is likely long gone.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.