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Old 06-22-2019, 10:28 PM
 
6,952 posts, read 3,857,584 times
Reputation: 14774

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Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
Oh this is absolutely me! I thought I was the only one.
My sons, in their 30s now, were typically secretive while in high school but starting in their early 20s they both for some reason decided their misadventures, mistakes, bad decisions, close calls, and near-death experiences make great stories to tell mom.
The stress of hearing all this stuff may help push me into dementia.
Toughen up - those things are fine because they're in the past, they can't hurt anyone unless they are serious felonies with no Statute of limitations. The things to be concerned about is your son telling you about the three kids he sired when he took that year long travel time or your daughter shares what she's really doing on Thursday nights when her husband thinks she's at yoga.
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Old 06-22-2019, 10:36 PM
 
3,542 posts, read 1,350,218 times
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she is at yoga....
that hit the spot
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Old 06-22-2019, 10:47 PM
 
10,812 posts, read 8,056,502 times
Reputation: 17010
Quote:
Originally Posted by kokonutty View Post
Toughen up - those things are fine because they're in the past, they can't hurt anyone unless they are serious felonies with no Statute of limitations. The things to be concerned about ...
?? That's an unwarranted comment since I didn't say what "those [my] things" are. Yes, the worst are in the past but only because we've worked very hard, with professional help, as a family to leave them there.
I'm tough enough but my son who survived a multi-year ordeal only partly attributable to his bad choices, is the toughest person I've ever known or could imagine. (I won't post publicly what happened to him but if anyone wants to know, dm me and I'll share the very broadbrush detail.)
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Old 06-23-2019, 12:09 AM
 
6,952 posts, read 3,857,584 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
?? That's an unwarranted comment since I didn't say what "those [my] things" are. Yes, the worst are in the past but only because we've worked very hard, with professional help, as a family to leave them there.
I'm tough enough but my son who survived a multi-year ordeal only partly attributable to his bad choices, is the toughest person I've ever known or could imagine. (I won't post publicly what happened to him but if anyone wants to know, dm me and I'll share the very broadbrush detail.)
My comments were meant in a general sense that the past is the past and it cannot be changed regardless of what we do.. Of course there may be certain things that can cause ongoing trauma. No purpose is served in sharing those things with anyone who may have a difficult time in dealing with them emotionally.
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Old 06-23-2019, 12:25 AM
 
10,812 posts, read 8,056,502 times
Reputation: 17010
Quote:
Originally Posted by kokonutty View Post
My comments were meant in a general sense that the past is the past and it cannot be changed regardless of what we do.. Of course there may be certain things that can cause ongoing trauma. No purpose is served in sharing those things with anyone who may have a difficult time in dealing with them emotionally.
The past, if dealt with face on, CAN inform and transform even the worst of traumas. I'm not sure what you mean by the above but it doesn't matter, I am sure it's offered with true love and intent and that's what matters, thank you.
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Old 06-23-2019, 06:59 AM
 
Location: Moore, Ok
78 posts, read 65,510 times
Reputation: 269
Yes, I am glad, in a way that my kids feel they can share some of these secrets...and I would tell them straight up if what they tell me would be damaging to anyone else but their own conscious. It is a little worrisome to me to be told secrets they expect me to never tell anyone. But yet, nice to know they trust me to not. But being a keeper of secrets puts me in a precarious position also as every time I think of them or see them, these things come forward in my mind. Well, I hope I don't get dementia and spill the beans, but if I do they will have to forgive me, lol!
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Old 06-23-2019, 07:59 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,200 posts, read 6,308,074 times
Reputation: 9815
My children and I are very close, I don’t know if they me everything but we have an open relationship, as in they can tell me anything. I told them, I might not like what they do but it’s their life. So far so good.
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Old 06-23-2019, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,611 posts, read 9,674,534 times
Reputation: 10950
Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
Oh this is absolutely me! I thought I was the only one.
My sons, in their 30s now, were typically secretive while in high school but starting in their early 20s they both for some reason decided their misadventures, mistakes, bad decisions, close calls, and near-death experiences make great stories to tell mom.
The stress of hearing all this stuff may help push me into dementia.

When my kids were real small I told them all that if they told me the truth about things they "might get some sort of punishment", if it were bad enough. Also told them that if they lied, and I found out, the punishment would NOT be pretty. The worst punishment was loss of privileges, to them. I'm not delusional enough to believe they NEVER told me a fib but for the most part they were good about it. When I told my youngest son I wish he wouldn't make me worry he said, "But Mom, that's your JOB!". I had to laugh.
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