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Old 07-07-2019, 04:23 PM
 
3,156 posts, read 1,740,380 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
i just want everyone to be happy!!!!
Yes. Happy in their own way.
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Old 07-07-2019, 04:26 PM
 
6,488 posts, read 3,478,911 times
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Hmmm, well approaching 40 years of marriage for me, I can see where time apart isn't that big of a deal. In general sexual drive less than years gone by, and when you're married that long you've spent so much time together which may include bringing up kids (in my case) that time to bond with other people keeps each individual "fresher" instead of the limiting social relationships to mainly the significant other. My .02.
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Old 07-07-2019, 04:50 PM
 
Location: SoCal
13,419 posts, read 6,417,350 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
Divorce does not mean it will impoverish anyone if they already have considerable assets.

The other 2 reasons you mention - they are good enough reasons to stay married, if that is what they want or need.
Yeah like Jeff Bezos.
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Old 07-23-2019, 06:33 PM
 
Location: NC Piedmont
3,931 posts, read 2,892,754 times
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A lot of us should split up but everything happened so gradually that there was never a breaking point, just a growing apart and developing different interests and different social circles. My youngest moved today, though we still have another the same age at home. Less and less of a daily bond.
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Old 07-24-2019, 09:53 AM
 
3,156 posts, read 1,740,380 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ReachTheBeach View Post
A lot of us should split up but everything happened so gradually that there was never a breaking point, just a growing apart and developing different interests and different social circles. My youngest moved today, though we still have another the same age at home. Less and less of a daily bond.
Bolded statement : why split?
1. To find the perfect person.
2. Have the perfect marriage
3. Find perfect happiness.

Does it always work that way? Is there any relationship that is prefect and brings us perfect happiness?
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Old 07-24-2019, 09:55 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,419 posts, read 6,417,350 times
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They are not sleeping together anymore.
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Old 07-24-2019, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Southern California
23,973 posts, read 8,372,682 times
Reputation: 15640
Quote:
Originally Posted by metalmancpa View Post
Hmmm, well approaching 40 years of marriage for me, I can see where time apart isn't that big of a deal. In general sexual drive less than years gone by, and when you're married that long you've spent so much time together which may include bringing up kids (in my case) that time to bond with other people keeps each individual "fresher" instead of the limiting social relationships to mainly the significant other. My .02.
Ah, and I've hit 40 yrs of the freedom life after a failed ONE TIME marriage...different strokes many folks want in their lives. And need.
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Old 07-24-2019, 01:35 PM
 
1,359 posts, read 664,665 times
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I know a few couples that stay married, because they can not afford to split their savings, and house, and go out on their own.....so they just stay out of each others way, and live their lives separately, but together.
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Old 07-24-2019, 01:48 PM
 
3,156 posts, read 1,740,380 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marcandme View Post
I know a few couples that stay married, because they can not afford to split their savings, and house, and go out on their own.....so they just stay out of each others way, and live their lives separately, but together.
Do you know if they are happy?
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Old 07-24-2019, 01:57 PM
 
Location: NC Piedmont
3,931 posts, read 2,892,754 times
Reputation: 6313
Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
Bolded statement : why split?
1. To find the perfect person.
2. Have the perfect marriage
3. Find perfect happiness.

Does it always work that way? Is there any relationship that is prefect and brings us perfect happiness?
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
They are not sleeping together anymore.
Newbie,
There is more to it than that, though that is part of it.

cb,
Not searching for a perfect relationship, but in my marriage and a lot of others there really isn't even companionship. We haven't been on a dinner date without kids (who are grown now, but one still home all the time and two nearby) in years. We have each spent several days at the beach so far this year, none of them together. I have started conversations about trying to find common ground again and she really isn't interested. Not mad; no argument, just not interested. After our last discussion I came away thinking we were close to discussing logistics of splitting but we just dropped back into sharing a house and little else. I am usually home earliest and cook dinner for her and generally clean up and take care of other chores. She is gracious about that and I think the appreciation is genuine, but having that be the apex of a relationship is not what I expect. I expect to be emotionally intimate as well as physically (there are no health reasons preventing that). I expect to be invited to her +1 activities; I'm not. I invite her to mine but she chooses not to go.

I am doing a research trip and vacation this winter to check out a possible retirement location. She isn't interested in going. She talks about me getting a "fishing cabin" down there and it's pretty clear she isn't planning to go there and that I will make it my primary residence.
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